Catherine, I think by now from the jist of these threads, what you're feeling is NORMAL. I feel it and so far everyone above me feels it too! All I can say is introduce SLOWLY. VERY VERY VERY SLOWLY. You might just find that it's to you now! Congrats on the century club!!! RNY 10/31/03 - 257/172/157

Catherine, Welcome to the century club! Awsome job! Yes I too have feeling of fear/nervousness about my new relationship with food. I lived to eat before and now... how do I deal with this inner demon? I recently decided to start regularly seeing a psycologist who is affiliated with a WLS program. i need to talk to someone about these food issues and how to have a healthy relationship with eating. I'm also having a lot of body image issues. I feel fatter now than I ever have in my life. I think this is because when I was almsot 350 lbs I had a brick wall built around me and was in completely denial. now the blinders are down and I see my size 18 butt and am still unhappy with it. I feel gigantic! Keep up the good work. No one said this would be easy either mentally or physically! Amy Lap RNY 10/22/03 349/244/190ish

Glad you are doing so well. Your weight is the same as mine. I started at 308 and now weigh 223 too.

... why am I feeling so conflicted? Spring greetings to all of you! I'm celebrating my 100 lb. weight loss! Just weighed in Monday and there it was. I felt so happy, and so proud. You know, sometimes I'm sitting down, and I look at my legs-- and I don't believe they're mine! It's as though I'm looking at someone else's bod. I do have 80 lbs. to go to reach my personal goal. I'm not terribly nervous about it, I'll keep working my bariatric lifestyle and the rest should take care of itself, right? Now, about that conflict: Is anyone else feeling a bit scared? I'm missing some things, like sweets and an occasional big ol' celebratory meal. I'm frightened to re-introduce some foods back into my diet because I feel they're evil or something. I have to get past that. Food is food. No food in moderation is bad. I'm frustrated because I still give it such POWER. I don't ever want to be the person I *was* again. I feel as though I'm like an alcoholic, in that if I start eating sweets or snacking again-- it'll be like an alcoholic taking that first drink. Snacks turn into meals for me. At least, they did in the past. I don't snack now. Ever. Sigh. So, on the one hand I'm thrilled to have my 100 lb. loss, and on the other hand I'm feeling restricted because I am so rigid with myself. Anyone else out there having feelings of self-doubt? ANYWAY, I am ecstatic about my weight loss, and the good health it has brought me! Catherine (Thanks to all of you for your support and understanding)

I am doing so much better than the first few months that we started this journey. I started out at 397 but got down to 362 by surgery and now after a long plateau, this morning I weighed 278. Oct 22 I was wearing a 38W pants and 5X top, now I am into a 3X and also 26/28. I have had 3 strictures, but since the last one have been able to eat alot more different foods, but still chicken is not my friend. I do really good with almost any type of pork, even BQ. I walk on the treadmill and that's it for exercise, but before surgery I could not hardly walk to the bathroom, let alone walk outside. A couple of weeks ago I went to a large mall for the first time in more than 7 years. Also I seen my lung doctor for the first time since surgery and he was impressed with the sound of my lungs and that I am off all lung meds (have asthma and had COPD and start of emphesema). I have so much more energy than I have had in years. Marilyn Lap RNY 10/22 362/278 -84 lbs