QOTD 11/17/04 - Wed

Okay, so my question to you is this: Since this surgery, how many friends do you truly have. I thought I had two best friends. I have discovered that the one I thought was most there for me, is not. I have lost her and am down to one. What about you. RNY 10/31/03 257/133

Well... I actually had hardly any friends when I had my surgery. I had withdrawn from most of them but I did have one good friend who was happy as can be for me and still is. I am just bout her size now, maybe a little smaller and we share clothes which is fun. She has been one of my biggest supporters and I consider her my one true friend. Since January when we joined a small group at our church, I have found a lot of friends who mean the world to me. We have grown close and I feel they care a lot about me and I care for them too. I have found that it's easier for me to make friends now that I'm 86 lbs lighter... I feel more confident. Although, I still don't get REAL close but that is because I had a good friend who went after my husband and that hurt me beyond belief. Thank God my husband told me what she was up to. I'm sorry that your friend left you... I guess you just never know who your TRUE friends are until you go through some life changing time in your life. You've got friends here though... Love, Pam

Well I tell ya, like Pam, I really didn't have a lot of friends. I didn't like going anywhere or doing anything. But the friends that I do have, have been there for me since the beginning. Their support has been overwhelming! I am so blessed with the support that I have received from my family and friends that it brings welled-up emotional tears to my eyes! I know, I am so dramatic, but it's the truth! I love all of you, too!!! xoxoxoxo Jane

Before surgery I had many so called friends that I thought I could count on for anything.But as the weight has come off I have discovered alot of animosity.Some feel that I have cheated and will pay dearly in the end when I gain all the weight back!!!Others feel that I have changed and we have nothing in common,maybe it was the food that we had in common.But since the surgery I got a job and have met the most wonderful people that really support me and never try to sabatage(spelling) me. when we have work functions that include food there is always GBS friendly food.They show a genuine interest in the surgery and my new lifestyle.I took some before pics to work and they just about fell out.No one could believe it was me.One lady cried and hugged me and said she thought I was a wonderfully courages person to have gone thru all this and not be embarrassed to share my story,so others could be educated and be able to better understand the surgery and all that comes w/it so others could learn and maybe be helped by it. Cathy

Thanks for all of your responses. I was just making sure I wasn't the only one who feels a loss other than weight. I was beginning to feel I was the only one. I'm sorry for all of us this has happened to.

before surgery I had my best friend who lived in NYC (I was in central Mass) who I saw about once a month. I had people I hung out with at work, but that was about it. I spent most evenings alone and had no dates. This summer after losing most of my weight I moved across the country to Oregon, it turned out to be a completely fresh start to my life. Now I have a ton of friends. Every night there is SOMETHING going on, i just choose to partipate or not. I love my life. I have a great group of friends, and a very tight group of close girlfriends who I love. I still have my best friend back in NYC though not sure how much I"ll be able to see her now. My social life has improved so much. I can keep up with everyone now, have the energy to stay out late, and can feel confident walking into anyplace like I actually belong there and people aren't looking at me funny. I'm no longer the "fat girl" in the room everyone stares at... or at least that's the way I used to feel. So yeah, more friends Amy

Friends.... Hmmmm.... well i do not have any, but i didn't have them before the surgery either. I guess i am not a people person in more ways than i am willing to admitt. I have SEVERAL good acquaintances, but none that i would call friends. Mainly it is a polite thing between us at work or as i pass going down the street. There is no one person i talk to and share my life with other than DH. This has been a life long issue with me. I dont mind making friends, but i am so boyousterous and immature for my age that i chase off most. Just a honest response... Judy