1 Year Reflection

Yesterday was my one year anniversary. I have lost 124 pounds and am at goal. I have gained my health back, I have gained more outter confidence, I have gained the knowledge that I am selifsh. As I sat yesterday in my pre-op sweatshirt (which you could fit two of me in) I thought about all the changes and sacrafices everyone around me has made. It's been incredible. So now it's my turn to give and sacrafice for the good of others. They all took such great care of me during this year, I need to give it back and show them how much I value and appreciate them. I never realized how selfish I had become. My DH told me that "you told me to reserve Friday night so we could go out and we didn't. You just wanted to go party with your friends without me so you could see if all the good things I've said about you are true." Well, THAT was not the truth. I did tell him to reserve Friday night. I did want to go out with him. They did NOT have any activities Friday night and he was on duty Halloween, so, I couldn't have accomplished what I wanted. I told him though that I would gladly have ditched my Saturday night plans to do the Friday ones with him. But something he said rang true to me. "You want to see that others see the same thing I do." Hmmm....selfish...selfish...selfish....perhaps egotistical as well, lets through in a dash of vain and a smidgen of curiosity. I'm going to take this next year and reflect on the changes of the previous year. Evaluate my actions and make sure I give back to all those who gave to me and then give to those who wouldn't even bat an eye at me. Enough rambling - Happy One year anniversary to me on 10/31/04! RNY 10/31/03 257/133

okay, my $.02? I wouldn't call the need for a bit of outside validation selfish. After we've lost this weight it's hard to get our minds around it and for us to figure out where we really fit into society. How do strangers view us? What do people think about the size of our butt? (okay, these are questions I ask myself, but you get my drift) While random people's opinions aren't very important to me, at the same time I don't want to be the "fat girl" in the room anymore either, and personally I'm going through the chore of figuring out that I'm not anymore. see, i'm rambling now, but want I wanted to tell you is don't be hard on yourself for wanting some validation from other people besides your husband. I've always thought the mental stuff that goes along with this weight loss is the toughest part! You've done great! Amy