Insecurities!!!!!OT but On topic

OK this is for my post op people that are married or in relationships.....What is up with the insecurity from the spouse????? My hubby is driving me freaken crazy....Everytime I leave out the house he blows my cell phone up like every 2-3 minutes and if I don't answer he is pissed...I notice that he always says thing like you are going to leave me any day now ain't you and I'm like no ....first of all I've been with this man since I was 16 he's pretty much all I know and second of all he treats me dayum goooood but here now lately he has been acting bo bytchy that I just want to em....my question is do they get better with time or is this fool gone be like this for the long haul...the one thing that I hate about it is that he has always been a strong hold his own kinda hard core man so this whiny stuff is getting on my last dayum nerves..... Rikka

Hi Rikka! I'm married, but I haven't had any problems with my husband feeling insecure. But, I do know a lot of people who are having the same problem you are. The only thing that I can suggest is that you sit him down, when you are both in a non-combative mood, then talk to him about the concern you have about his behavior towards you. Ask him why he feels the way he does? Reassure him that you didn't have the surgery to leave him, but you deserve to feel healthy and beautiful. Help him to realize that life for the both of you is going to be better, because you are able to do so much more. Maybe you both can join a healthclub or anything, together. He'll come around, it's an adjustment for everyone. Be sure you tell him how you feel about the way he is treating you! Good luck! Your WL Buddy, Jane

Hi Rikka... yes, my hubby did and does the same thing. He's getting better though. I think when they get like that, we just need to give them a little more lovin' & attention. It's their cry for reassurance but they can't come out and ask for it. Be sure to tell him what you just told us and that he has stuck with you through all your "heavy" years and there's no way you're going to leave him now unless he doesn't quit! LOL Just kidding about that part. But... do give him extra lovin' & cuddling when he gets like that... it's what he's wanting. If that doesn't work, maybe go see a counselor together so you can work it out together. Pam

I have to go into my archives for an answer to this. Geez its dusty in here. I've been married for 32 years and the first year of marriage I suffered from the same insecurity. Basically, I couldn't believe that such a beautiful intelligent woman had actually married me and knew that she would find someone more handsome/better for her someday. So, with this insecurity firmly in hand, I worried her to death. Time passed and I came to realize that she found me worthy and would remain my life partner. With that knowledge the fear of losing her went away. Give him time and reassurance. You're a beautiful woman and his greatest fear is losing you. The change you have gone through seems to him to mean that you'll change/replace everything, including him. It's obvious to me that he knows how lucky he is to have you in his life. He just needs the time to move past this and learn that you will always be there, just like always. Fat or thin, rich or poor, sickness and health. It's all about commitment to the other person. And as my wife always says, "You should be committed." Ha! Hugs, Joe