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Topic: 10/9/09 is my 7 yr suurgiversarry! READ ON....
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Post Date: 10/9/09 7:07 pm I cannot even think about forgetting today! It was just 7 years ago that I decided to do something to take care of myself. It has not been a simple ride; it has been a challenge at times and a wonderful opportunity for personal growth along the way. I have learned so much about myself and received so much more than I originally thought I would get! My focus changed from dieting to lifestyle, my focus went from scale obsession to coming inside and noticing, my food addiction reared at 1 yr, 3 and then 5yr. Each time I decided more personal growth (therapy) was called for. The tool is glorious but I also know now how flawed it is and how flawed my original thinking was. My nonscale victories are numerous..no more aching joints (Well being 30 wk preg doesn’t exactly count with back pain does it?) LOL..Being able to move and exercise I feel blessed, no more high BP or pills, no more fatty liver, no more insulin resistance no more high cholesterol or meds! I have escaped my fat prisoned mind, I have found strength in the midst of difficulty. I have learned to embrace and accept more and find the lesson in the most challenging and difficult times......I have met some marvelous people and gained support I never knew existed. I have flourished in my career, my passion of bariatrics too formed...I can fly w/o the seatbelt extension, I get respect and eye contact from others, I can cross my legs w/o issues, fit in a small car, I am HEALTHIER THAN I ever was at 29 now turning 37! I have learned to love me as I am at any time (mostly!) How I have come around with body image in such a way that getting pregnant and having a wt gain is not the be all end all as the scale no longer rules my life or mood; heck why get on it if I am emotionally present and consistently making the best choices.. I know where I am at if I do not avoid repress or stuff!. I have confronted fears, insecurities and emotions and embraced them...with much help! I have found some awesome parts of myself and also worked on the not so awesome ones. I have worked on perfectionism and still have a long ways to go! BUT I AM OK with it all! Making an educated and informed decision was important, for myself though letting go of the need to be perfect, rigid thinking (all/nothing), needing to control everything and in doing all the thinking avoiding the feeling and life, being consumed with WLS in general so much I 'lost my life/identity' to a LABEL (I was a WLS person) when in fact I am much more than that for the first year or two. I battled addiction transfer with my 4 yr exercise addiction; I am still seeking balance in that arena.... That despite the OPERATION the need for myself to do personal growth (therapy, 12 step work, develop supportive network, learn to take care of me FIRST) around my personality/character traits of codependency and how they are so intertwined into my obesity no tool can fix those (although I wi**** could of, that would of been magic as many of us hope WLS will be!). That in acceptance of myself at any moment, healthy boundaries, taking care of myself I could succeed or at least learn to reframe success as something more than a number on a scale or if I ate enough that day in protein or didn’t eat too many carbs or drank enough fluid or got exactly enough exercise in etc. I am winning! Surgery was the easy part looking back although going through it I thought it was the hard part (ha how skewed that was!) living the lifestyle after in a consistent, self responsible manner is the most CHALLENGING thing I have ever chosen to do for the past 7 yrs, I did not realize preop the immense effort it takes each moment to be healthy! It is so worth that energy though the freedom it brings! OR so I decide today that is my REALITY and perception! I have accepted vs. know intellectually that Happiness and Success will NEVER EVER come from an external source (person, object, number on the scale). It can and will ONLY come from internal self-discovery and love. I NOW AM Listening to my BODY which is so instrumental and key, my natural physical hunger, my body knows and will not let me down..is my mantra and truth! I have learned that I have consume my life in the past with food, thinking about what I can and can not have, when I can eat or should eat, how much, how often, how it should be cooked, when to buy it, how much, etc that I occupied so much time and did not even realize that that left me with no time to feel (the point) in an addiction, it used to take me over so I could forget what I was scared/fearful of feeling/being. I think the WLS lifestyle was also sort of addiction and escape for a while ****il life overwhelms the beauty of the honeymoon!) and for myself exercise became an obsessive addiction as well. I wish I had known that WLS is one of the million steps on my life’s journey *it is not the destination*! BUT I know it now and only my journey could of given me that!! Writing all the reasons why this was my choice, what my expectations and goals were (*considering those beyond wt loss itself), what I was so fearful of. All my core fears (Death, Failure, Making wrong decision, not being accepted and loved/abandoned, not perfect enough etc) helped mold and shape my ADVENTURE! I recommend those preop consider trying to fill their minds with as much optimism and positive thinking as possible! Basically, become more conscious of what you are thinking and feeling, and start preparing yourself to think of food and your life in a different way. This is a courageous step for you to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision. Take Care,  Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP 100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY 320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/ "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!" |
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Take Care,
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
Topic: RE: 5 years today~
Good for you!!! Thank you for the update. I'm in the beginning process and wanted to check out how people were doing five plus years out. I'm happy for you and wish for your good continued health.
Topic: RE: Re: Gaining weight back after 2 years.............Help!
hi Laura,
I know this post is coming a lot later but wanted to know how you are doing now? I had my surgery in Oct of 2002,lost 100 and stayed at my goal weight for 5 years. Within the past 6 months I have put on 30lbs. I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition,but now the weight is there and does not want to go away. I don't know what to do and am very frustrated. I hope you are doing well. TPC
Topic: RE: Will be having gastric bypass surgery Oct.25,2007
Hi Katherine, I chose gastric bypass surgery because after researching the bypass and the band and talking with Dr. W and praying about it ,I know this is best for me. At first I said to myself no way will I have bypass because of some bad stories, but I have found that there are more success stories than the bad ones.Some people that get sick do not follow medical advice,some do and still get sick. And I need this weight to stay off and I know I have a better chance with this surgey.Dr.W does aprox.5000 bypass a year and aprox. 60 a year of the band.I've read stories where the band can slip and it needs to be replaced in about four years.Of course each person has to way the pros and cons and see what they want to do.Also I've had major surgeries all of my life so I think I can handle it with "GOD"S" help. Thanks for your prayers!I will pray that you feel peace when you deside the right surgery. 
Topic: 5 years today~
yep I am finally down to 123 lbs in the morning, much better than the 260s for someone 4 feet 11 it is SO WRONG! 137 lbs down!!!!!!Now I can actually breath and fit in clothes.
My size 6 last year are baggie so have to go shopping tomorrow for something else. In the summer time I actually bought a couple of size 4's who would ever believe I could get there again? When I met my husband (24 years ago) I was actually a size 3, dang if thryoid and depression can suck,went from size 3 not even being able to donate blood cause you have to weight at least 110, up to a size 26, 2 hundred and 60 lbs. So of course I do watch my weight every day! Things are so much better! Love to all and hang in there, it took me 5 years but I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Topic: RE: Will be having gastric bypass surgery Oct.25,2007
Best of luck! May I ask why you chose gastric bypass surgery over the lap band? I am considering weight loss surgery and just curious.
Topic: Will be having gastric bypass surgery Oct.25,2007
Dr. Kenneth Wornock gave me my surgery date Oct. 25,I'm so... excited!!
I have been wanting and needing this for a long,long time.I only have one leg and I am so heavy that it's hard to walk and my good leg is worn out carring me around. I've been reading everyones post and they are very helpful.
Topic: RE: HELLO, IT IS TOO QUIET HERE?!
well I have finally come back to get the rest of the weight off. not alot of us here. I have yet to have any plastic surgery, though I would like some and god knows I can use some. Want to lose the last 15lbs or so, but that hanging skin also scares me. Lost 20 in the past month and a half or so and dang if that skin doesnt dangle too much for me. In October I will be 5years out. Whoo hoo
Topic: fINALLY UPDATED AFTER 4 YEARS
It has been almost 5 years and I am now finally
posting. Okay I might feel bad but some of you know. Not all of us lose 100 lbs the first year. it might even take three years. But if it is off , yahoo!
Topic: HELLO, IT IS TOO QUIET HERE?!
Hello, where have all the longer term postops gone? Are people so busy that they do not check in after 1 yr or so, we are coming up on our 5 yr anniversarry I'd love to hear from others how people are living after WLS! I know I have had a regain, nothing sever under 20# or typical bounce back, I try to keep on a healthy lifestyle it can be a challenge. Check in ok!
Take Care,
Jamie
Lap RNY 10/9/02
Dr. Singh
320 preop/163 lowest/183 current 5'9'' (lost 45# before Surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've
decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
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