HELP!!!!!

OK.. HERE'S THE DEAL.... I HAD GASTRIC BYPASS 4 YEARS AGO... I LOST 230 LBS... BUT HAVE SINCE GAINED 70 LBS BACK... I TRULY DON'T WANT TO END UP BACK IN THE SAME BOAT AS BEFORE... BUT CAN'T SEEM TO GET A GRIP..... SINCE MY SURGERY.... MY HUSBAND LEFT ME... HE CAN'T STAND THE WAY I LOOK ((ALL THE LOOSE SKIN))... MY MOTHER HAS PASSED AWAY FROM CANCER -- AND I CAN'T GET A GRIP.... CAN ANYONE OFFER ANY ADVICE TO A FORMER FATTY.... WHO'S WORKIN ON IT AGAIN..... I HATE MYSELF......

Sondra, I just happened to run across your post on the OH 4 year anniversary posting board. I had my surgery on 10/29/01 and have lost about 325 lbs. It sounds to me like you and I have the bad habit of "stress eating". I put on 20-25 lbs late last year when my mom became ill and died, so I kinda know where you are coming from. I forced myself to quit eating junk (carbs) and got back on the straight and narrow path to "protein first" again, and gave up sodas for good ole H20 again. It was not easy, but in a few months, I managed to dump the 25 lbs back off. You have been thru some major stressors in your life lately it sounds like. Do you have access to any support groups in your area, online support groups, anything like that? I have found that just talking to others about the way we feel helps a lot. If you need a shoulder to lean on, I am offering mine for you...one former fatty to another. If you want to email me directly, my email is jimspurgeon (at) gmail (dot) com. (not sure if this board strips out email addresses or not). I am also on yahoo messenger as jimspurgeon or on AIM as jspurg. Feel free to message me anytime. Please don't hate yourself. You have accomplished something amazing with your weight loss and after reading your bio about your complications after surgery, I feel so lucky that I had no complications. Take care and feel better. Your Formerly Fatter friend in Orlando, Jim

Hi Jim I found your reply to Sondra and it is wonderfull that you responded so well to her. I had my surgery 10/11/2001 and had lost 156lbs but have gained 70 lbs back. Found that im a emotional eater. Yes the tool is there for us but when you forget on how to use it seems like we are a failure to it. I for one never found the feeling of satiety..(fullness).. I had started going to OA and EA. which is emotional eating association but they dont have that peticular meeting where I live. So im back to a counciler and a nutritionest. I cant seem to get away from the carbs, since I work in a food service environment its very hard. So I have added you on my yahoo too maybe help each other. Wendy

sondra, I just skipped upon this forum because I wanted to know how others are doing. Ok....a year after my surgery my husband left me. I had the gastric bypass the same month and year as you. Thus I stopped exercising and basically ate what I wanted. Since then I have remarried, had a baby, and new job, etc...I went from 294 down to 200 after my surgery. then up 25 pounds, now down again to 190. I have reread the pouch rules (which I never really even knew). Have you read pouch rules for dummies? It really has helped me. I swore that I must have stretched my pouch out and ruined it. I was scared. But, when you go back to following the rules, the pouch is still there to help you. The hard part for me is not drinking with meals and for the first hour after. I love to drink diet pop like crazy. I am trying to alternate with meals now. Anyhow, I still have 50 pounds to lose myself. Work hard and keep posting here and I will update myself from time to time. You can do this! We both can. Shelly

My advice for you is to pray - I will add you to my prayer list, also. I am afraid of the same thing happening to me eventually because I am definitely an emotional eater. I just had my surgery 6/21/05 and have lost 71 pounds - I feel great but if your husband left you because of the way you look - he was a shallow jerk anyway, so who needs him?! You can overcome this with prayer and strength from God, your family and friends - join a gym ...I love CURVES because it's 30 minutes with lots of support. I would also suggest you call a local hospice or church and ask about grief counseling and support groups. The death of your mother and your divorce are major losses that have occurred in your life but there is help out there for you! God Bless!

Hey there.. I have not been on the site for awhile, so I just saw this post when I visited my "birthday pals". I have a theory about gaining weight back after WLS, and every day I find it more true. After the first year or so after the surgery, you are used to having to eat as often as possible, since you can only eat a few bites at a time. As time goes on, you are able to eat more in one sitting, however you still are used to eating as often. Since you lose the weight because your body is literally starving, it is your natural instinct to still eat whatever you can at each meal. I have gained back 20 pounds. I think there needs to be more post support for people in our stage, because this is where is really counts. The surgery is simply a tool to get you to a "manageable weight" then the hard part comes when we have to do the rest on our own! I average about 185 right now, but I know that I need to take off at least 30 more pounds- and therein lies the rub! I have been able to stop gaining by making a more conscience effort in keeping my cupboards stocked with foods that I can grab if I feel the urge to eat. I also am an emotional eater as well, I don't think too many of us got to the weight we were without having something of that in us. Think of things that you like to eat that are good for you. I happen to love vegetables. I know the sodium level is higher, but I love canned green beans! It is definately the lesser of an evil to pop open one of those, throw some lemon pepper on it and munch than grabbing a "little debbie" snack or stopping at the value meal section of a fast food joint! I truly believe that more planning on my part i.e. making better food choices more accessible to me has made a big difference. If you are a person that just likes to "munch" sometimes for the sake of munching, then make sure that you have alot of options for yourself in the pantry. I am lactose intolerant now, so I don't have to worry about icecream, but I do crave carbs, like breads and pastas, so I try to keep more veggies on hand. This is all an ongoing struggle for all of us! If anyone wants someone to talk to- it would help us both! Jen

First, I am very proud!!!! Second-Hope the door hit HIM in the A-- on the way out. He was only thinking of him, not you, your health or your sanity. Who needs that. You are right, you dont need to go back. 1. Find a good support group--Ask your surgeon or hospital where procedure was done, or therapist. 2. Is lookinf into some plastic surgery an option. I am not talking Head to toe--just the part that bothers YOU the most. Start small, and remember the surgery is a tool, not a cure. just keep a positive attitude and dont forget to check back in with your nutritionist 1/2 times a year maintence.-JG

Hello Julie, Like all the others, I have been where you are an am stuggling too, but am very proud of you and your success.. One thing no one can say is that you are a failure.. You have had a long five years.. I have read many forums and many doctors I go to when I tell them I have had a gastric and tell them I used to weigh in at over 300 lbs they say good girl.. You didn't learn to "eat around it" {?} But, I had never had one bad experience with the surgery until late last year, and honestly still don't know if it was it or not.. All I know is I am lucky to be alive.. My stomach literally exploded and a hernia wrapped itself around my bowels and ruptured themm causing them to explode and I was in severe pain for over oh I would say the better part of 15 hours, now as a chronic pain patient, thanks to partially the surgery.. well actually my primary care doctor refusing the vitamin b-12 shots I got neuropathy, and will be in a wheel chair as early as within the next two years of my life.. I am on vicodin now, and its getting to the point that it can't even put a dent in the pain... the whole left side of my body is messed up... and its gone over in to the right... bruising is horrible.. Anyway you can read about this on my profile parts of it... or on myspace under tantalisingtonya as sn or tonya baisen as name.. But I honestly don't know that I would go back through with this surgery now... When all this happened to me, they told my family, 3 more minutes and I would not have been here, and honestly they did not expect me to make it through the night.. well I have always been a fighter, and I showed them how wrong they were.. They had taken everything out of my body and I was on complete life support for two days, but I motioned I wanted pencil and paper to write with so I could communicate with the doctors and nurses and familily... and I asked how long I was going to be in there...A VERY LONG TIME.... WEEKS AND WEEKS... they explained that since they had taken everything out and moved it all around and layed it on me, that i was going to be sore... and it would take recovery alot longer.. WRONG.. I was out of there within a week.. But I am still sick and this is March and I am gaining weight.. when I went in I weighed 112.. granted way under weight.. but now I weigh in at 141.. which is what they wanted me to weigh.. but I don't like it... Any ideas as to what could be happening anyone...