And the fun continues

So my husband finally told his family I'm having surgery.  He's been quiet about it all these months.  Hasn't told a soul, won't talk to me about it.  He knows it's coming so I guess he finally said something.  Know what my in-laws asked upon hearing?

"So what hospital?  Oh, downtown?  We can come meet you!  We'll all go to the casino and get some lunch!  They have a great buffet!"

My sister-in-law and step daughter are now joining the family fun.

I told my husband that while he and his family are planning a casino field trip out of my surgery, my children will come home from school and be home alone, not knowing what is going on with their mother.   And my husband will be the only connection they'll have to finding out.

This keeps getting worse.
 

It sounds to my like they all need a big ole reality check. Maybe you will have to just make a list of where they need to be and when and what you need them to do and put your foot down. You will be in great hands in the hospital and the pain meds will make their after surgery activities much less important. If they are so heartless and useless, maybe you don't want them there. It sounds like your husband may have some undealt with issues about your surgery. My mother-in- law brought eight people to see me after surgery one time. I just told them flat out after two hours that I needed to rest and they would have to leave. Then I called the nurse and made up something really yucky that I had to do in the bathroom. When I came out, the whole giggling , yakking, noisy  party crowd had left. I was better off without them. Good luck Sweetie. I'll be thinking of you.

So sorry dear. Have you sat down with your hubby and had a real heart to heart about how this process is going to change the whole family's lifestyle? I'm the shopper/chef around here and I want everyone to benefit from what I'm going to be going through.
I hope you and he can work things out and he can come to some understanding of how important his support is!

The one thing that I have learned is that you can't pick your family.  My mother-in-law said she doesn't know why I'm even going through this since I have no will-power and will fail at it anyway just like everything else!

I've learned to have a strong support system on friends but it is really important that your husband support you.  You might ask him what if anything he is afraid of.  I did that with my husband and he finally admitted that he's worried that if I get skinny I won't want to be with him anymore......mind you we've been married 15 years.  Men don't want to admit what they are afraid of, so you need to bring it up.  What it did for me is give me the much needed support of my husband.....

Best of luck to you

Well, my husband doesn't talk about much of anything.  I've tried to get him to talk about my surgery but I honestly believe it's no more than an inconvenience to him.  He's pretty selfish and is only concerned about what affects him. 

As for my in-laws, I'm not close to them and my MIL has criticized my weight.  I'm not in the mood to be a freak show to his family.  My own mother is out of state and can't be here, she's recovering from her own back surgery.  I just want to be alone!

I'm just tired of being the zoo exhibit for everyone...and I haven't even started yet!

I hope that all goes well for you today.  Sending good juju vibes your way for a speedy and uneventful recovery.  My husband must be related somehow to yours.  I am dealing with the same thing.  The thing I have learned though is that I can't change him but I can put people around me who can buffer his behaviors for me.  So my brother and my Dad are coming to take care of me.  Mom is staying home to take care of my daughter.   In-law's are complete asses, so just kick them out.  I have a list of people for the nurses who are allowed to visit me.  I am making it quite clear that I do not want certain people to visit me in the hospital.  I don't need their negativity.