I should be happy, but....

I hit Onderland this week and thought I would be happier. It was a huge goal for me and now that I reached it, it doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. I was at a stall for 2 weeks and then I lost that last pound to make 100. I want to lose another 30, but it is going slow and getting harder. I can tolerate ANYthing and catch myself grazing again. I will not get back to how I was. I feel so good about myself and have so much more confidence, but how come I am not happier about the 100# lost????

I know how you feel. I am so happy about where I am right now, but as I reached goal after goal, each time it just felt kind of anti-climactic. On reflection, I think, for me anyway, that my weight loss is not the answer to total happiness like I thought it was when I was heavy. The happiness really comes from within, from being happy with myself no matter what my size. Don't get me wrong. I am very happy, but the good feelings I had when I hit onederland (or any other weight goal that I had set for myself) were not the ones that I imagined I would feel when I was heavier and had set the goal. Do I make any sense at all?????

You make total sense. It just feels like there is something missing. It is almost as if I thought fireworks would go off when I hit it or something. Sounds crazy, I know. All of my friends and family congratulated me, but I still don't feel it. Not that I expected this big party to celebrate, but something.......I do look at the before and can't quite believe how I looked and how I let myself get that big and I didn't even think I was all that big back then. So seeing pictures has really helped and I am glad that I took them at different milestones. I just need to look deeper within and realize how lucky I am. I can see how people move on to other addictions to make them happy......Thanks so much for the reply. This really, really helps get me through.