OK, It's now been alittle more than a year and I keep feeling it and know it must be true: The brain needs a transplant and the emotions, too. I have come to the realization that all the food I used to eat must have covered a ton of emotions I never dealt with!! DUH!!! Should have figured that out a while ago... But now they are here and unprotected me has to deal with them. NOW that I am not using food to suppress them... It feels like somedays they are just attacking. YUCK. I stuggle so with just trying to ignore them and the truth is: I have found that candy helps: Silly me, I do not dump. And if you eat 10 small reeses cups they also have 8 grams of protein!! Is that sick thinking or what? So I can justify eating the little ones cause if I have 10---then I get 8 grams of protien!!! OK, back to the feelings. As many of you know, I am currently living in Germany where mental health is not a big thing ( they just go drink a beer or something!!) I am trying to find a counselor that understands both eating disorders and Americans and boy, what a challenge and oh by the way, they gotta speak English as I barely can speak any German. Feeelings: Yes, I can counselor anyone on how to deal with theirs: Take a walk, read a book, go exercise, etc, etc, but when it comes to me: I just don't get it. It is so helpful being able to write about it: Thanks for listening(reading) my ramble but if anyone knows anything that works: I promise to at least try it. I think my biggest feeling is feeling lonely and alone(Reality). I go to a support group here at least once a month(we sometimes do dinner or lunch another time during the month and thank god, this helps some. With the lonliness, depression is right around the corner: I can feel it as I have suffered from depression before: Not a good thing. The only thing that seems to keep the depression away is my crazy running. Exercise!! OK, I will stop now. Again, thanks for listening. Jacqueline

Congradulations!! Dec 15!! That is just a month away. I am so happy that things are working for you. I am scheduled for Jan 8 for tummy tuck and breast lift( They need it bad). And I am all private pay due to insurance not understanding reconstructive plastic surgery!! Oh well. I can't wait to hear how yours goes. Take care and they say lots of protein before surgery helps??? And working out?? Don't know for sure but go to the plastic surgery forum here for more info. Best wishes. jacqueline

Shel, What an inspiration!! And YES, you can accomplish your goal. Look what you have already accomplished!! Thanks so much for posting and keeping me updated. I so enjoy reading about your progress. Thanks and best wishes, jacqueline

LOL you so funny. Thanks Barb

Thanks Barb. Your pictures are awesome too. At least you have boobs lol mine are all gone bye bye. Tammy