Congrats, Lisa! Give yourself ample time to heal...Did insurance pay for any of the surgeries? I'd love to have my boobs lifted and a small (full C) implant put in. DH told me he may increase the flexible spending health account for 2008 so it can be included and we can have a tax deduction on it... I don't need much of a tummy tuck, but my batwings are BAD. I'm afraid of scaring. I get bad bumps/keloids and don't want to live like with those showing. I'm wishing you all the best with your new image! Paula

Hi Barb, I hope you don't move in with the guy. ONly because I think you need to get on your own feet. If he's as wonderful as you say, this isn't going to be a problem. Remember -- don't go from one problem to another. Give it time. As for the retirement, I suggest you go to a good divorce lawyer. Although having said that, I do believe that once lawyers get involved things can get really bad!! I don't know about your state, but some states are 50-50 on all community property including retirement as long as it was earned while you were married. I do believe that you are entitled to it. But remember, it probably would go away if you got remarried (I think that is true in most states). Also, the retirement would only be for the years you were married, that is 16 and if he works till he's 65 or so you don't get anything until that time (of course) and then only 16 years worth. We just went through this with Greg's first wife and his Army retirement so I know that is how the Army does it. Good luck Barb, I hope that in spite of all this turmoil, with family, etc. you can have a peaceful Christmas. love donna

you're not nosey silly - I'm actually glad you care enough to ask the questions! And it really helps to put my feelings into words so feel free to ask away! It was a strange decision making process - when or if to mention the WLS - I'm guessing that I must be very comfortable with it because I have been telling my new "friends" by the second date. I think it's important for several reasons - #1 I am probably the most honest person you will meet (almost to a fault) and #2 IF things progress to the intimacy level there is the skin issue that needs to be addressed. It just so happens that the skin issue was the part that was making me the most nervous and I'm finding out that by being upfront and very honest about it it really isn't as big of a deal as I assumed and feared it would be. It is what it is and until I hit lotto or marry a very rich man it will have to remain an issue (unless insurance miraculously chooses to cover everything I need done).. I (obviously) am a huge advocate of this surgery so I feel that if I can educate even just 1 person I'm giving back some of what I've been given...the men that I've told ask questions and have really supported me - so that makes me happy As for my daughters - I wasn't very worried about telling my older daughter that I am dating - she's very accepting of it...my fear was telling my baby and we talked about it on Sunday night when she got home from Rome - she was very mature about it which really surprised both myself and my oldest daughter...as they said .. it's been 3 years since my ex and I split it's time for mom to meet someone and be happy again! I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of both those girls...I love them more than life itself and they are such a great support system. I am going home tonight to make chocolate chip cookies...it's all I have left to make other than the pies which I will make on Christmas Eve morning... love you.... Linda

Hi Donna! Thanks for the kind comments! I am doing great! The bypass and all that has followed almost seems like a dream. My life is so different in ways I did not even imagine and I would do it all again in a second. My only regret is that my "head" was not ready for this change 10 years ago. But luck and timing were with me when I did finally choose to make the decision and all has gone well as a result. You look fabulous in your picture so I imagine the journey is going great for you too! Happy Holidays and May the New Year bring more joy and goodtimes than ever before! Lisa

Hi Ann Dee, No insurance so it was my Christmas present to myself! I am very happy it is over cause it only has to be done once! Happy Holidays! Lisa