Big sunday morning gossip

Me and dh are really having problems. I am thinking about getting a divorce. I am truly unhappy with him. I am interested in another man at this time. We are friends but it seems to be going somewhere. We have been meeting 3-4 times a week to talk. You guys can think I am nuts . But he is more my age and treats me like a lady Opens my car doors. Puts my shoes on my feet. He treats me like a princess. and he is so funny. I love to laugh.. He also has more to offer me. My husband now is 8 years younger than I am he is not good for me. He never talks to me. I think he has servere mental illmess. I am missierable. You all no how I tried. So Dog Me out Do what you think fits.... I am misserable. I need someone I can talk to and laugh with!!!!! UI am startving for LOVEEEEE Take care Barb

Barb, Just be sure to pray hard and know what you are doing. I have always "heard" that 50-60% of the people that have this surgery end up in divorce. SO in saying that make sure that you want to be a statistic. I don't know everything and refuse to judge anybody else's relationship, mine is crazy right now also. But I am determine to see what happens in the end. Have you been to counseling? Have you talked to him about seeing a doctor for his possible mental illness. My Dh suffers some depression also but I Love him and I know that with therapy and medication we can get through his problem. His is being controlled right now by medication and the comfort in Jesus. Does your husband know about this other person? This is something very serious and as you know many people will be affected by this. Do you have any children, by your husband? Remeber them also if you do. My husband and I have been married 11 years and no they have not always been the greatest years of my life. But for 5 years before we got married we had the opportunity many times to make sure that we actually loved each other till death do us part. We have stuck it through, I could tell you things that would blow your mind... we both lost a brother/sister to death one year apart, we both have sickly parents, he does not work due to back injury (work comp), we both have so much against us it's unbelievable but I know that God put us together. We have so mu*****ommon and not. We have the most beautiful daughter ( after trying for 7 years-I think God was waiting on us to get through our roughest times to Bless us with a gracious child) We both had infertlity problems and were told by two different dr's that we would not have a child, and oh my I knew they were wrong. So in all saying all that, we all have our ups and downs, sometimes more than we should but, pray that God will give you the wisdom to do the right thing, and pray that HE shows you the right way and direction. Sometimes marriages do end in divorce that is the facts of life, and you probably will be happier with this new person, but be ready and stand strong and know what you are doing. I know this is lenghty but I felt like God wanted me to share it with you. Remember we are here for you and Jesus Loves You and can help feel the void of not feeling Loved. Because He does love you, He loves you so much He died for you and me. With Love Angie aka Jezuzfreak2

Hi Barb, wow, pretty heavy stuff for this early!! Well I have felt for some time, reading between the lines, that you are having problems. Nothing is worse than that, problems in the marriage. I kow you have tried and it may be time to move on. I hate to sound so casual about it, but when it's over it's over. Yes, I know that this surgery sometimes prompts us to do things we wouldn't have done -- and is that bad, I don't know, I don't think so. You're a smart lady Barb, and a good person and you deserve to be happy, to be treated like a queen, and to spend the rest of your life content. You also have a good head on your shoulders, so I don't think your decision will be without thought. I'm thinking of you, and if there is anything I can do let me know. I'm out most of today, but if you want to chat real time, I can send you my phone number, or you send me your (I have tons of minutes) and I'll give you a call. much love donna p.s. I am 23 years into a second marriage, and it was the best decision I ever made. I am treated like a queen every day, and I wake up and have to pinch myself that I am so lucky. I am madly in love with my husband, and he with me, and divorce, although it was not easy, was the best thing I could have done.

Barb, I guess I feel much better knowing that I am not alone. But I think I am taking this a little harder than you are. I guess it is to the point where I am depressed. Cried all morning. Hey if you want to talk e-mail me and I will send you my phone number or you can give me yours and I will call you. Christine

Hugs, babe. My marriage is falling apart too. My only suggestion would be to get counseling and take your time making any decisions. Then do what you know in your heart is the right thing to do. Best of luck to ya.

All I have to say is I want you to be happy but the grass is not always greener on the other side. My husband said when you feel like you have given 100% you really haven't you still need to give 100%. Make sure before you do drastic changes in your life.

Barb only you know whether you are happy or not. The thing with the new guy may be just that new and different. I dont give advice on whether or not to leave ones husband I havent been in that position so i try not to give advice there. The only thing I would advise on is that if your going to end the relationship with your hubby do that before you start one with the new guy. Even if you arent in love with your husband any longer you should respect him yourself and the new man enough not to start up an actual relationship until the marriage is over. Here is wishing you happiness no matter what your decision. Tammy O

Barb, I have a unique perspective on this and I apologize ahead of time for being windy. You cannot control other people, only yourself. It took me YEARS to learn that. I think sometimes I even used my weight to try and control my late husband. I was so miserable being overweight, and unattractive in my own eyes, and when he was not attracted to me anymore.. I punished him by gaining and many other ways. I was a MISERABLE person. I have two kids with severe disabilities and it is very hard to deal with and harder sometimes the older they get. But, because my weight had made me very codependent, I held onto the dysfunctional relationship because I really did love him. ALOT. Then, he had a mental breakdown, spent time in a facility and had an affair. To get him back, I did too and one month later he overdosed on antidepressants. I wish now, we would have divorced before it became permanent. My kids would still have their dad and I would still have a friend. I agree with others about making huge decisions so soon after surgery, but only you know your relationship and if there is truly no respect, affection, or warmth from your husband.. you and many others DESERVE that. Email me anytime if you need someone to listen to.

What a hard thing you have been thru and your children. I need to get something straightened out. Sometimes his mental illness scares me. I dont know what he thinking. It is alittle creepy. What is going on in his mind. Thanks Barb

We are doing very well now. I am a happier healthier person and my husband now took all of us and has loved us very much. Even with him, I had moments caused by my own self esteem but caught them before they got out of hand. luckily. Mental illness IS scary and VERY hard to deal with long term. That is the first priority. You can't know if you have the same love for him, if he isn't literally in his right mind. It is hard, I feel for you. I will be thinking about you and hoping you will have the strength to deal with it all. HUGS