Who notices ???

I can honestly say that I've had maybe 3 people comment. My husband doesn't say anything. I too feel like I'm single. To make matter worse he works 6pm - 6am. He also alternates weekends, on his off weekends his children are with us (they haven't noticed either) . We really don't have a relationship, I told him the other day that he's nice to me when EVERYTHING goes his way and I do EVERYTHING he wants. But let something not go his way (like I forgot to buy Rice Krispies this week) and he's a royal pr*ck to me, whatever rice f'in krispies. People at work don't say anything (except my mom ). My daughter (she's 23) always says how good I look , but then I raised her properly . I know I feel better and I'm sure I look better and that's all that matters. Micha 288/204.5/150

My oldest daughter that is almost 29 tells me all the time. She is 155 pounds. My youngest daughter that is 26 is 220 pounds. She has some days I feel she wishes she could lose weight. I feel like I am leaving her behind. I wish I could fix her. But I cant. Hubby doesnt want to notice. My sisters was against it. Now they are I think Happy for me. But I really cant tell they are twins and 150 pounds. and I just dont know what they really think. Grandsons tell me all the time i so happy you lost weight. I play with them theylove it. I take them places. I think you look beautiful. and I am sure your kids are so proud of you. Hugs Barb

Wow Sandy what a GREAT question! After reading everyones post I realize how very lucky I am. I live and work in the "beautiful capital of the world" where if you don't like your looks blame your surgeon!~ So, being overweight was just not acceptable. When I decided to have WLS my co-workers, family and friends were 100% behind me. I never hid what I did because I was comfy with my decision and if people had negatives to say and they did (one from another wls patient who had grazed her weight back) but there are negative people out there who do not want ANYONE to be happy or content with themselves. Well, their thoughts and opinions held no sway over me because I was comitted to feeling better. I had to learn how to not let their opinions matter. One of the keys to that was realizing how hard it must be for them to see me happy and gaining confidence. Truly, just my knowing how miserable they must feel knowing that they could not sabotage my emotions any more really was the most liberating realizations I'd had in a while. One example, my best friend of 16 years, use to poke fun at my "square belly" or big bottom, eating haibts.... you name it, she's made fun of me for it. WELL - now that I am thinner, eat much less and exercise regularly she's come full circle. She told me on our last get together how proud she was of me!!!!! Mind you, she has NEVER said a lot of nice things to me, so to have her embrace the fact that she now outweighs me by 85 lbs and I am healthier now than I have ever been. Her response was the one that floored me the most. I've been very lucky because everyone in my life has been nothing less than wonderful. Even the WLS failure person just looks me up and down when she sees me, she's told me that I can have sugar and nothing "bad" will happen if I drink with my meals, and two days prior to my surgery she told me about her friends daughter who had rampant infections and was hospitalized for 34 days due to her bowels being nicked during the procedure. Nice lady unh? If that's the best conversation she can put out of her mouth to me in regards to my choice then I am glad she only gives me elavator eye.... I don't wish to hear it. Just realize that when you want a compliment from someone who is in fact jealous or not happy with your happiness that you are FAR better off to let them remain silent. Just like our newly reformed bodies our minds too are on a journey. I don't need nor do any of my September OH family members need to hear comments that will sabotage their path or encourage poor eating habits to try and get over hurt feelings. We are better off with the silence. It only will make us that much stronger and that much more resolved to keep doing what we are doing! *hugs* to all of us for making this change work for us. I can say this with 100% sureness. YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!! Carla

My Mom, Sister, and my Sister-n-Law's Mom all complimented me on my losses the last time they saw me at the beginning of March. My Mom is my biggest supporter-- she went to my preop surgical visits and then stayed with me through my surgery and recovery. When I see friends every few weeks they've been very complimentary. What I am dealing with right now, is daily I have a lot of coworkers who've noticed the losses. Some of the comments are welcome, some are not - due to the fact that I have kept a very low profile about having the surgery. I appreciate the folks who are sincere and come to me privately-- and yes, several people have admitted that they did not know if they should/could say anything about it. I have a hard time dealing with those folks who ask some VERY personal information, and then gush over me EVERYTIME they see me...that's embarrasing for me and I've told a few people that. I just prefer in my business surroundings to stay professional and not as personal as some people feel comfortable getting. It's a catch-22. Some attention is welcome. Some is just not.

I guess I am a pretty lucky one too. Everyone in my family was supportive of the idea preop except for one uncle who I rarely see anyway, that just made me more determined to prove him wrong anyway so that was fine. Since surgery my great grandma and great aunt have probably been my biggest supporters. They are SO proud of me it is almost funny, they literally tell me every single time I see them. My Mom, Dad, Husband, Brother, SIL and Grandma are also very supportive. The ones I see the most (husband and Mom) might not comment regularly but I understand that is because they see me all the time. Same thing with people at work, I see them every day. Most of them still say something every other week or so it seems. My husband is kind of in the middle, he is a quiet guy anyway so not one to be pouring out compliments but he is not mean about it and not noticing at all like some of your husbands (I feel so bad for you!!). Generally his comments come when I say something bad about myself, he'll tell me I'm crazy for thinking whatever and he'll say how much smaller I am or whatever. He is very happy for me and proud of me and I know it even if he doesn't say it all the time. Everyone is doing great and I hope we can all be proud of ourselves no matter what people do or don't say...but it is nice to hear it!!