I can't get food off of my mind...

I'm having a hard time of it these past couple of weeks. I've really gone "off" of my eating plan and have been allowing myself to eat chips, carbs, junk food, etc..All to the extent of making myself sick and dumping, only to do it again the next day. I didn't think I would sabotage myself after this surgery...In the evenings, it's the worst time for me. I'm watching tv and thinking about what I can go and "get to eat" for myself. Old stinkin' thinkin' has crept up on me again. I lose control when I have to attend a party where a lot of grazing is going on and it throws me off... I've stopped my food diary months ago and ordered a special book for a food log and will start that up again. I'm not exercising at all and feel guilty about it... I have been depressed this winter. I'd rather sleep than do anything. I'm already on Lexapro (don't want to increase it cause I don't want it to add on any pounds) and Ativan... My Dad died on Christmas Eve and left his affairs a mess. I was not close to him and hadn't seen or heard from him in years. Now, I've got a funeral director bugging me saying "Don't you want a proper burial/service for your father?" He's either still in cold storage or has been cremated and none of us 5 daughters is willing to sign anything because we don't want the hassle of his baggage that may end up costing us BIG BUCKS. I don't mean to sound whiny...I'm sorry. I just needed to put down into words what is going on with me and my backslide and lack of motivation (this has happened before with other diets) to do better for myself. I ordered a self help CD that's for motivation and goal setting (something I'm terrible at) and the woman's CD's have helped me with different issues of the years, so I'm hoping that this one will help me kick start my butt in gear. And people tell us that WLS is the easy way out?? Walk a mile in my shoes, buddy... Paula 330/311/245/175 pre surgery/surgery day/today/goal

Paula, you are goig thru alot. if your meds are not working you need to get them ajusted. you sound very depressed. i am on lexapro to. it is not working for me. my next apointment i am getting it changed dont think it is helping. I just think you will bennifit from a chnge in med. I just dont know what to say. your really under alot with your dad. I am surprised the goverment hasnt buried him Take care Hugs barb

Paula, I'm sorry to hear about your family problems. I myself am finding myself looking for something to munch on. I have been trying to do the cheese sticks and I am eating tangerines like they are going out of style. I am wondering if I am stretching my pouch too much. We had our surgery the same day but I see you are doing so much better than I. But each time I get on the scale and see it drop I'm happy. I think I need to drink more water to fill up. I have been trying to exercise with my gazelle . I think it is the weather. Instead of exercising I just want to hybernate... Sandy

Paula, I know about the munchies...I have been munching on popcorn lately. I know that I shouldn't be..., but old habits die hard. Instead of just sitting and eating popcorn in the late afternoon, I make myself do something useful at the same time....like yesterday, I did laundry and ate popcorn....I know it isn't much, but it was motivation and a "reward" for working! I agree with Barb...your meds probably need to be adjusted....I'd talk to my dr. if I was you. Hope you have a better weekend! ~~em

Paula, I've been having trouble with this too. It seems like there are alot of us on the Board 5-6 months out, having trouble with this. For me I'm finding that I can handle a varitey of foods that I couldn't when I was only 2-3 months post-op. The reality is setting in that this surgery is only a tool, and it is possible to eat around the surgery. My husband recently changed his shift, and is working evenings. It's left me on my own, to make food choices for dinner, and beyond. Well, that does not always go well. Head Hunger is a huge problem. I found keeping a food diary on Fitday.com keeps me honest. Even if I go for a handful of chips or crackers after dinner I record it. I've seen my over all calorie intake creep up because of the snacking. This has resulted in slower weight loss for me, plain and simple. I am soley responsible for that. I try to keep true to the rules: * Protein First * Lots of Water * No Snacking * Daily Exercise These are from kaye Bailey's website. she has a lot of great info, it's a great site. http://livingafterwls.com/ As far as not having energy, I here this a lot from post-ops. Maybe our bodies just need the rest, after all, major surgery, then losing the equivilent of an adolecent child takes it toll. Sometimes it could be as a result of anemia, or b12 deficiency. If it gets real bad I would check with your MD. Support groups have helped me too. My MD has a great support group once a month, and I never miss it. It keeps me centered. Keep up the great work. You have done so well. Linda R

Hi Paula, Thanks for sharing. Holy smokes . . . don't under estimate what you're going through, on top of your father's death, didn't you have some health issues of your own recently? I'm going through tough times at night too with the "munchies." My husband is a fire captain and I'm home alone alot and night time is tough. I'm getting my appetite back and that really scares me. So many old habits seem to be rearing their ugly heads. Keep coming back to these boards and asking for support when you need it. Hope your doctor can help you with your meds. I'll be looking for you here on the forum looking forward to you feeling better. One day at a time. That's what we all do. Hugs to you, Sydney

Paula, I think we are int he same boat. My herniated disks had a flair up and it just really put me in a tail spin. I want to eat all the time and the things I am shoveling into my mouth have not been good. Let me know if the CD works and where you can get it. I wish you luck and hope you find the right answers for you. Christine