Failure

I had my surgery on September 12th. So far I have lost around 63lbs. and I feel like such a failure. I seem to be able to eat so much more than everyone else. I am barely losing anything these days, and most of the time I don't feel like I even had the surgery. What's worse is that I have been a support group leader for over two years now, and I feel like I have failed to live up to the expectations of my group. This is the first time I have been on the boards in months because it is too painful. It is pretty damn pathetic when you have surgery and STILL can't lose the weight. Dawn

Dawn I had surgery on September 20th 06'. I started out @ 246# I have lost 60# as of yesterday! I now weigh 186# I felt the same way as you, I eat to much. I was stuck at 190 FOREVER!!! and I am losing much much slower than everyone else! but I am also soooo much happier than I was 60# ago! Just think back to when your were at your start weight, don't you feel great. 63# lighter than you where before? and you know that it's not over. Yes it is a lot slower but we are still losing even if lose 1/2 of what we did in the next 5 months which would be a totel of 90# in less than a year! That my friend sound GRRRRREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marie 246/186/130

I am also a slow loser. I had my surgery on Sept. 28th and since weigh in pre op I have lost 56 pounds. I don't consider that a failure and you shouldn't either. That is 56 pounds that I do not plan on gaining back. I feel so much better, I have alot more energy than I did 6 months ago. I weigh less now than I did at least 15 years ago. Are you still in the same size clothing ??? I know I'm not. I have gone from a 28/30 or 4X shirt to a 2X shirt. My pants went from a size 30 to a 22/24 . Look at it this way......you may not be losing weight but you are probably losing inches. Don't give up yet Dawn.......Use the tool you were given. I am eating more than I did in the beginning but I am trying to make the right choices now instead of chips and what ever I grab a piece of cheese or fruit. I am slow at doing the exercise regimine but am trying to do a little more each time. Sandy

Dawn honey, BREATHE. Its really ok. Look at your numbers. You have lost 63 pounds in 5 months. That is 12.6 pounds a month. Now, granted, it probably came off faster the first 3 months, but off is off. I had surgery a few days before you. I am down 70 pounds...not much more and the word failure is just not part of my vocabulary. One of the things that keeps me sane about my numbers, even tho they haven't changed very much in the past 6 weeks is this. You CANNOT control how much you weigh. Can't be done. You can only control what you take in and to some extent what you use up. You do the work of taking care of your pouch, taking care of putting in the yummy nutritious things that are on your good list, taking your vitamins, moving your body, drinking water and that's ALL you can do. You've done your part. You have to be patient til your body makes the next move, which it will do. On a practical level, put your daily intake into fitday.com and see if you your calories, and fats are up to or down to the number your nutritionist recommends. Or...Change something....more protein, more water, less carbs, more whole grains, different food choice, different movement activitiy. Sometimes that will move things too. Most of all, just relax. Breathe. Find some beautiful music. Be nice to yourself. If a friend came to you with the same statement you have put in your post, you wouldn't call HER a failure. Give yourself a break, please. Jeannie

Thank you everyone, for your words of encouragement. I guess I'm just feeling the pressure of living up to everyone else's expectations and they are expecting more (and I guess I have been too). I think I'm feeling so badly, because I know I could be doing better with my food choices. I started to eat when I was stressed and went back to old patterns. So I am sabotaging myself. But I act on my feeling miserable. I have to stay positive and focus on the good choices that I make. Thanks again for the encouragement. Hugs, Dawn

Dawn, I had surgery on Sept. 12, 2206 and I am only down 57.8 pounds. I was disappointed. I only lost 3.8 pounds this month. My doctor and dietician were pleased with my weight loss though. According to them I have lost 47.5 percent of my excess weight in 5 months and they think that is great. According to them most patients loose between 65 and 85 percent of their excess weight in a year so I am doing good. I haven't been eating enough and was told to eat more but I am afraid to get started eating again because I might not be able to stop. You are doing great on your weightloss. Try to stay positive. Cyndie

Hi Cynthia, Thanks for writing. I agree with what you are saying, but my PCP actually said to me "You should have lost much more by now". I felt like such an idiot!! But I know I can't give up. Dawn

Your PCP is wrong. Mine says the same thing Cynthia's does -- I've lost 63 lbs since 9/14, about 50% of my excess body weight, and I'm right on schedule. I do the same you do, comparing myself to other "fast" losers, so I know how you feel. I could also be making better food choices. But compared to where we were, sister, we're WAY better off -- and no one's perfect, not even WLS patients. So keep sticking with the program, loving yourself, and the rest will come. And if it's a little longer than for others, so what? We'll still get there. Hugs to you!

I hear you! I had surgery on 9/20 and have lost 67 lbs. It seems like we are surrounded by all the fast losers and it can be intimidating. Then I thought about the last time I lost 67 pounds...10 years ago!!!! and I gained back even more. I figure surgery was really meant for a person like me who was unable to lose before. Now with surgery I can lose weight and it may not be as fast as some but I know these 67 lbs are gone for good. Please embrace your success and let's all not compare to others but keep on our own path to health and slimness!!!!! We all derserve it no matter when we get there!!!!!! Cpngratulations on your success!!!!

I had my surgery on 9/21 I started out weighing 248...I am down to 191.....that is 57lbs.....I did hit a plateau for about 4weeks but finally it stopped......Yes I am slower than other people....but 57lbs is like the size of a second grader....(I lost a 7 year old) Really try and find something that weighs as much as you lost... you will really notice that it is a lot of weight