need some support

I have lost 58 lbs ( I had my surgery Sept 26) and am getting discouraged thinking that I am not going to get down any further. Its taken me about 2 months to lose 10 lbs. I gained a lb yesterday at TOPS. I felt I still needed a support group after the surgery. They were all supported of me until 2 weeks ago one of the gals said *its a gurantee loss for you while should you get any incentives* That made me feel so sad and hurt, before I had the surgery I discussed the surgery with everyone of them and we decided what I was elibible for and what I Wasn't well when it came time for me to get an award then I didn't get it because *its a guarantee loss* We decided as a group that Dec 1 I would be elibible. I told them its the purpose that we had an agreement and your not honoring it* I am so frustrated because I need the support somewhere in my real life, and I am not getting it like I use to. I am losing my hair now and THATS FRUSTRATING!!! Geez am I gonna be skinny and no hair or fat with hair. I just can't beleive I am losing so much of it it scares me. I had a dream that I gained 20 lbs overnight. I know the likliness of it is not real but its so scarey!! HELPPP With the madness!!! I don't want to give up and just start eating cuz I know what the result will be. It will be me praying to the porceline goddess for a long time..

No one understands what we WLS patients go through except WLS patients. So my advice to you is if they don't want to support you on the level that you need support then you need to find a WLS support group. 58 lbs is a GREAT accomplishment!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!! And I am sorry, but WLS is not a guaranteed loss. If you do not follow the rules eat right your weight can stall and even come back. They have that "IT"S THE EASY WAY" mentality that Michael was talking about. If you need more support than you are getting from these boards then I really suggest a WLS group. Call your surgeon he/she should be able to recommend somewhere. Good Luck and Keep up the great work!!! Email me if you ever want to chat. I will certainly give you support. Hugs Judi [email protected]

Find a local WLS support group....really helps me... Also, are you getting in any exercise...I KNOW that's the only reason I keep losing. Pam 5'2" 282/**202**/145

Michelle, I agree with Pam, you need to find a WLS Support Group, or a therapist that specializes in weight issues. I'm very familair with the TOPS program, and is not designed to support WLS patients. I know you must have some great friends there, but they are not going to understand what you're going through. As far as you slower weight loss, we know from Michael's September Stats, we all lose at different rates. Those who lose at a slower rate admit to not always following the rules, these are my personal rules, but everyone rules are pretty much the same: 1. Protein first (at least 60-80 grams a day) 2. Vitamins and supplements daily 2. Three meals a day, and two planned snacks. NO GRAZING. 2. No drinking with meals or 30 mins before or after 3. Water, water, water..at least 64oz 4. Exercise I hope this helps. Remind yourself why you had WLS surgery, and realize that this is not a magic bullet, it does require effort on your part. I'm sure you've heard the statement, the surgery is only a tool. Well, that is the hardest part to comprehend pre-WLS, but we're all realizing what that means now. Best of luck on your journey, Linda R

Hi Michelle! I hope this is helpful, but you're perfectly "average" according to our September Averages. If we take the subset of those who had their surgery in the latter part of September, you're actually a little ahead of the average. So while you might be scared, you're loosing at about the same rate as the rest of us. Around 3 pounds a week, with nearlt 60 pounds gone. You're over half way to your goal. YOU ARE DOING FINE! As for your support group... a support group is supposed to, well... support you. If the one your attending isn't being supportive... get another! Hang out here! Whatever it takes.

Michelle, I wish I could reach through this screen and give you a hug. You are doing great! I think that maybe your TOPS groups is just a bit jealous of your weight loss and alot confused about the surgery. This surgery is just a tool for us to lose the weight. Just as a treadmill, exercise bike, or workout video is to those who are trying to lose weight. Don't let them get you down. You have all of us here at Obesityhelp.com to give you support. I know we don't have weekly meetings and we can't see each other in person but we are all with you in heart to give you support. This group of people that post at this message board are the kindest and most loving people I have ever "met" in my life. Going through this has been challenging and without them I think I would be in a huge depression by now. So you just keep up the good work. Stalls are going to happen. Our bodies are kinda freaking out about our weight loss. Let's face it this is the first time we have been successful at losing any weight and at the rate we are losing our bodies are wondering what the heck we are doing. I am giving you my email in case you just need to talk. Melanie Clausen [email protected]

(((((((((hugs)))))))))))))