1.5 weeks post op & EMOITIONAL!

Ok I guess this is my sob posting... Sorry everyone but I need to get this out and there is no one in my house that will listen to me cry. I had surgery on 9/26/05. Left the hopsital on 9/30/05. Spent the weekend in pain. HAD to go back to work Monday 10/3. I worked most of monday, came home took pain med and laid on the couch while family ate dinner, did homework etc. Worked Tuesday and Wed all day and did the same thing Tuesday as monday, pain med and couch. Today - no pain med but relaxed in recliner for a while. I am so dang emotional it isnt funny and I hate it. I cry in the mornings when everyone leaves and it is only me home, like sobbing. Tonight I got upset with my daughter because she hasnt told me goodnight all week, she tells dad goodnight and then off to bed. I cry at night when I go to bed. Is this NORMAL to cry all the time??? I am crying just writing this stupid post and cant figure out why. (I think part of it is that life has gone on for everyone else in this house but me. I am only on full liquids, cant stand the protein drinks, sick of pudding and popsicles and want some FOOD. My husband has been of no support at all since I have been home, lke he said he would, I usually pass out at the sight of my own blood and I have been having to change my own dressings he has not helped at all. I get qweezy (sp?) but make it through, cuz I know I have to. Well, I will end this sob story for now. I just needed to vent I suppose. Thanks, Anne-Marie

Hi sweetie, I sooooo feel ya! I'm 17 days out & the first couple weeks was a HUGE roller coaster! We're giving up an 'old friend' (food), & I honestly believe we grieve that loss. We use food to comfort and nurture ourselves, and giving it up 'cold turkey' is just as hard as quitting smoking or drinking! Your family is dealing with their feelings, fears etc. the best way they know how, even if that is to push you away. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself, and to them, through this transition. My surgeon reminded me that just because they dont open you up (for lap RNY), its still major surgery and it takes all of your bodies energy, resources and nutrition to heal itself. It doesnt have any left for anything else! So give yourself a HUGE break right now, know that we are here for you, and take it slow. Biiiiiig hugs!! Melanie

Melanie, Thank you so much for your encouragment. I am so glad I found this board, at least i have somewhere to turn to. Hugs back! Anne-Marie

good morning...you're normal...imagine that! I am just about 4 weeks out (tomorrow) and maybe not as bad as you but yes I was emotional too. I live alone (my daughters are both away at college) .. they would call me every day and every night to see how I was and each time I would hang up the phone I would cry. My boyfriend who is in the AirForce is in S. Dakota and talking to him 2 - 3 times a day would make me cry too.. BUT!! it does get better and MUCH easier. Not sure why your family isn't helping you...yes it's a change in their lives also...mom isn't sitting at the table eating with them...mom isn't taking care of everything the way she was b4 the surgery...they'll come back just like you will. when they see how great you do with your weight loss they will be thrilled for you. it's a very emotional time for everyone in the family. my 19 yr old cried to her 20 yr old sister every single day on the phone because she couldn't be with me and was afraid that she would never see me again...think of the emotions! Once you're feeling up to it..when you get home from work take a walk .. doesn't have to be a long walk .. just something to get you moving..see if your daughter wants to go with you, maybe hubby will go too...you can make it a family thing ****il you're moving so fast that you leave them in the dust and they can't catch up lol) You'll be fine hon..but if there is any way I can help you..email me, I'll do what I can to help!! Feel better and drink your water!! hugs...Linda

NORMAL??? I don't think I have EVER been NORMAL... LOL Yes this is a change for my family as well as me but not as much so. You would think that when I came home from the hospital it would be to a clean house, but NO! Laundry is getting washed and dried and put on the living room couch. I sat last night after working a full day and folded 4 loads of laundry and had to continually be on the kids to put thier clothes away. I think I will try the walking this afternoon and see how that goes. I will let you know. Another part of my depression is that I have only lost 9lbs so far. UGH! It is so hard to get in 64oz of fluid a day! OH MY GOSH! Hugs back, Anne-Marie

Your emotions are perfectly normal. You've just been through a major trauma, and nobody is helping you? I cannot BELIEVE you went back to work on Monday. I'm three weeks out, and can't imagine going back to work right now. BTW - are you asking for help, or have you just been expecting it and not getting it? Some of your emotions are the right responses to things that are happening, and some of them are simply the excess hormones/stress of surgery. Take care of yourself - even if it means taking time off work, or getting someone to come over and help you. Do you have any family in the area that could come stay with you? --BT

I know I am crazy for being back to work, this was the worst time for my surgery to take place though. I work for a Bankruptcy attorney as his Legal Assistant. The office consists of he and I. He knows little of my job and is NOT computer litereate at all. (Although, I have taught him a lot in the last 2 years since I took over this job, so he is getting there.) With all the BK laws changing in a week, I had to come back. There are couches here that I rest on at lunch time and I try to only work till 3:30 when the kids get here after school, but that only happened on Monday...LOL. I guess I am just a "I have to do what I have to do" type person. Family in the area - hummm that would be a NO. My borther & his family live 2 hours from us, and I wouldn't want them around anyway! (it would just be more work for me) My mother had RNY surgery the same day I did, so her husband and my sister are with her. WELL, I have come to HATE hormones more and more this week! I thank all of you for your support!!!!!! Anne-Marie

I am 4 weeks out and am still very emotional. Like others have said, your body has been through Major Trama and it will take time to heal. It messes up your hormones and everything else. I know exactly what you are going through. I am mourning the loss of Food also. I really don't crave food, and am not hungry, I just miss the comfort of eating. You are a brave soul to go back to work so soon. I was off 2 weeks. What type of work do you do? ~Emily

Hey Anne-Marie, I think you may be exhausted. You are going to HAVE to take some time for yourself and get some rest. You don't want to do yourself more harm. I know it is hard, but just leave those clothes on the couch. Worst case scenario....they'll be waiting for you in a month. Relax in bed or on the couch or whereever is comfortable for you and watch some TV or read a book or just ZZZZZZZ. Your hormones and emotions will only seem worse if you are not getting sufficient rest. This surgery is too difficult and taxing on the body and mind without adding the added stress of no rest. Try not to expect more from your family. If they are like mine, they are just used to you always taking care of everything and are not willing to help out when you need it. Teenagers can be especially selfish (just their nature) and only see how things are affecting them. We will be praying for you here. Just take it easy and get some rest. Blessings, Jacinda

HI Anne-Marie, I had my surgery on the 27th. I thought that I was so fully prepared for everything. I didn't have much pain, but the emotional aspect floored me. The day I left the hospital I wanted pizza so bad I was anger at everything and body. - I don't even like pizza that much. I spent the next few days on an emotional roller coaster- never breaking down but always not sure of what was going on. For me it was all about the head hunger. I never understood how much food controlled my life. Now with that said you should be so proud of yourself for doing this. Make every step and accomplishment. I made cookies the other day and didn't eat a piece. I didn't lick my fingers etc. but as I was working I kept my inner voice telling me how good I was. Making myself believe and understand what a day it will be if I can make 4 batches of cookies and not eat any. We have to change our inner voices to positive notes. Lastly put your self first, just tell your self if I put myself first for just this week I can get through it.... good luck and try to keep strong. it will be worth it in the long run. d