Anyone else mourning the loss of food?

It's strange - I know that my constant desire for food and my bad eating habits are what's brought me to where I'm at today. One minute I'm looking forward to having the control that surgery brings and I'm ready to change my lifestyle accordingly. But then the next minute, I get almost panic stricken at the thought of changing. Anyone else experiencing these feelings? Karen Lap - RNY 9-26-05

ABSOLUTELY!! It's called addiction!! It has got to feel like when a person addicted to drugs or alchohol decides that they want to enter a program but are pannicked at the idea at the same time. I feel like that also. I want my life back, but I want my food too. And it is scarey to think the surgery is going to change things forever. I am counting on taking that window of opportunity (our tool) to get an "edge" on my addiction and at the same time I am going to work on the "head issues" so that my mind will begin to be renewed while changing my lifestyle habits. Great on paper right? I'm sure it's "messy" in reality. Isn't that why we are here, leaning on each other? Hang in there girl. My surgery is on the 12th. Let's get healthy together!! Hugs, Dawn

Ohmygosh, there is someone else who feels like I do! I was feeling guilty for having these thoughts and had myself convinced that I was trying to set myself up for failure. Are we all afraid of failure? Is that because we have tried time and time again to lose weight, only to gain it back plus some? I so much want to succeed at this and hopefully with help from other members I will. I have surgery on 9/22/05 and have started the liquid diet today. Sandy

Whenever I sit and think too long about changing permanently, I get TERRIFIED!!!! Funny, I never considered the fact that I may have an addiction, but this may absolutely be the case. I have paid a lot more attention to myself lately, and the bubble that I had been living in has suddenly burst. I am now having to be accountable, and realize that I have horrible habits. The thought of giving them up however, scares me to death. Being aware of those feelings however, is the first step to recovery. We cannot overcome what we refuse to address. I think it is normal to be fearful of the unknown and finding a coping strategy outside of our comfort zone. Here's to finding another way! I know we will be successful because we have to be. Good luck!

YES I totally feel with you. I KNOW this surgery is what i want, but at the same time i DO find my self almost sad that i cant ever eat an oreo cookie again, or a krispie kreme donut, I find so much joy in them the thing that keeps me motivated is how much joy i will be getting out of my NEW experiences with my NEW body and my NEW life! hang it there, this will pay off in the end!

It is terrifying on one hand to not be able to eat those old food I love so much../ice cream is my biggie and anything chocolate...but it also feels freeing....because I can't without severe physical discomfort and some even say pain... I won't have to be so strong...I hate pain!! So I know I will do without!! YIKES.. What a thought huh? anyway, I go in for the surgery Sept 16... what a change that will be huh? We just gotta keep supporting each other. jacqueline

Thank you all so much for sharing the fact that you're having similar feelings. This board and the entire site has been so helpful and encouraging - you're all just wonderful! I guess it shouldn't be surprising that we're all afraid of failure - after all, none of us gets to this point without having failed many times in the past at managing our weight. Heck, the insurance companies even require the proof! So, as the AA folks say, let's take it one day at a time. Thanks again for the support! xoxox, Karen Lap-RNY 9-26-05

You are NOT alone! I'm sad to say that it took me a month, yes a whole month, just to decide if I could live without popcorn. Then I could finally make my next md appt. and continue the process. Yesterday I got my surgery date and food fears have been popping into my mind all day. I've modified/adopted Susan Leach's mantra "Nothing tastes as good as thin is going to feel" and am repeating it in my head to chase away these thoughts. Keep reminding yourself of all of the good things this surgery will bring you: better health, more energy, lots of clothes shopping and a great new figure! Hang in there and know that you are not alone. ~Kristy

Count me in on the mourning, too! I have been on a liquid diet since Monday, and I really feel great! A part of me knows that I will never fail again, so it's easier to stick with it. HOWEVER . . . it hits me in the face at the oddest moments what I won't be able to enjoy anymore. Like this evening, I was watching T.V. and realized I hadn't had a drumstic**** cream cones in months, and it makes me want one now! LOL, it's hard but we can do it!

To be perfectly honest, I haven't missed it that much yet. I had my surgery last week. The one thing I have noticed, is that everyother commercial on tv is for food of some kind. Something usually not good for you. I wish you the best. Rob 330/???/200