I am getting cold feet.

I am getting cold feet. My surgery is set for Sept. 8 which is Thursday. It seems like that is all I can think about. The what if's. I would not want my boys to be left alone if something were to happen to me. I am all they have! I can't stop think about the breathing tube that they will be putting in my throat. I don't want my boys to worry. I am feeling like everyday I spend with them has to mean something in case something happens to me so they will remember me. I am i just nuts or I am having normal feeling. I know I have to do this for my health and it not a question of if I want to have the bypass because I do. I am just scared to be put to sleep Cheryl

You're normal. I posted you a mesage on the main board, too.

Cheryl, I know exactly how you feel. My surgery date was supposed to be 9/8 but they rescheduled it for the 13th. I had about 50 things to tell you to try to make you feel better, but I erased them and started over. Just know that if you need to talk you can e-mail me or call 315-322-5772 if you would like to talk to someone in the same boat. Christine

Glad to read Im not the only person starting to "freak out!" Hang in there! Erin

Hi Cheryl - From my perspective, you're 100% normal. I've had surgery 3 times in my life, that plus 2 in vitro implantations, all of which I totally dreaded being put to sleep except for the last time. I decided being put to sleep hits all my control buttons, and I hate giving up my physical control that way...so I decided I would try to feel like I was choosing to be put to sleep. Wacky, but it worked for me. I practiced telling myself that I embraced the feeling of being put under because it was getting me closer to what I needed and wanted, and that I would wake up easily and feeling refreshed. And it worked! Just hope I remember to use it on Sept. 30th! Best wishes, and hope this helps! Mary Mc

Hi Cheryl, I'm in the same boat with you. I've just been getting more and more nervous the closer it got. I will be having my surgury tommorow evening. No more food or liquid after midnight. I thank goodness for my friend going with me and he bought me a little pink square bead pillow. The kind with the really tiny soft beeds. Sounds silly but I've gotten alot of comfort out of just squeezing that little pillow. Teddy bear in disguise. lol It also helps knowing thousands of others have done this same thing before. It's just natural and will be just a memory soon enough. Evie

Cheryl, also know that it isn't just you ladies who have the monopoly on rollercoaster emotions! I have been going through that myself. My wife is convinced of 2 things: 1 - the only reason that I am having surgery is so that I can leave her for somebody else (she has extreme physical and mental health issues) and 2 - that I am going to kill myself by having this done. Needless to say it is tearing me apart mentally too. I have already changed my date once for her. But I flat out told her that I am not doing it again. If you read my profile you will have a better understanding of why I feel this is so necessary. But please know that you are not in this alone. We are all here to help. Rob

Hi Cheryl, You are normal. Some people obsess about it more than others. I think it has to do with being "put to sleep". I hate giving up that control to other people. Don't worry about the breathing tube that the anesthesiologist will place in your throat. You will be sound asleep and won't know or care one little bit. When you wake up, the tube will be gone. Last year I had 2 different surgery dates and chickened out of both of them. Now I have another surgery date for this Thursday, 9/8/05. Last week I felt alot of dread regarding this surgery, but I prayed about it and got immediate relief! I don't know if you are a Christian or not, but if you are, talk to God. Satan is trying to beat you (and me) out of the biggest blessing of our lives. Don't give in. I'm not. (((Hugs))) Marsha

Hi guys, I'm with all of you. I'm scheduled for the 12th (still pending approval) and the range of emotions are unbelievable!! I'm with you Marsha, on praying!! I think we all need to take some deep breaths and remember why we made this decision in the first place. Let's face it...I'm sure that for everyone, the surgery was our last resort. We wouldn't be doing this if we didn't feel it was necessary. But I really am grateful to read all of your posts because it puts all of those "crazy emotions" into perspective, and knowing that you are not alone is so very comforting. Rob, my husband is ALSO afraid that I am going to lose the weight and leave him. And he is starting to freak out since the surgery is actually becoming a reality. But what our families (and even us sometimes) forget, is that obesity will snatch our lives away like a thief in the night. It's just that obesity is also a SLOW killer so it deceives everyone. You start developing co-morbidities over time and some people probably think it just has to do with getting older. Anyway, I pray that God will bless all of us with a safe surgery and a speedy recovery!! Let's keep each other posted. Hugs, Dawn

I'm right there with you, too! But how I am getting through it is like this: I tell myself that I could go to sleep at home and have a heart attack or stroke. Like someone said above, we are choosing to do this. Makes me feel more in control. Good luck!