REALITY CHECK!

So yesterday was it.. my last day of all real food for a while. Today I started my pre-op diet. We had a little get together last night with friends.. even orderd myslef a "Good Bye fat Erin" cake. (I love cake! Im going to miss it post op but Im ok with that, I figure maybe in a year I can enjoy a bite or two again.) All of a sudden it all seems so real to me. I go Tuesday for my pre-op work up and meeting with my anesthesiologist. I'm excited, I'm at peace with my decision to do this, I've got everything figured out for my kids while I'm in the hospital but I'm freaking out. I'm not scared, I'm not nervous.. I'm a little anxious .. I wonder if I'm just excited? Or maybe I'm kidding myself and I am really scared. No I don't think I'm scared. I think the fact that this is real, that I'm really going to do this has finally hit me. The fact that WLS is a reality in my life ha**** me. The fact I'm not going to be trapped in this body much longer ha**** me... Man talk about reality slapping you upside the head..... Erin 13 days to go, if you don't count what's left of today!

I know the feeling. When I reached the point where I had less than two weeks before I leave for Brazil, suddenly I was like "OMIGOD!!" I've found that I'm suddenly not caring about laundry "What difference does it make - I'm not going to be wearing that stuff anymore anyway?" even though I know in reality that I WILL be wearing it for a while. The weight isn't going to fall off overnight. *laugh* Almost, but not quite. For me this trip has been fast. When I first logged onto OH barely three months ago, I wasn't even sure I was going to HAVE surgery, and then wham, bam! Here I am buying tickets to Brazil and planning a post-op life. --BT

Well I hope everything goes well for you. Everyone is always talking about the positive side of the surgery. What about the negative? Alot of things can go wrong with this surgery. It did with me I almost gave up my life for it. I was small compared to most patients I was 6ft 300 pounds. I had a heart attack without previous heart problems. I dont think patients want to think about reality or what might go wrong. One thing I did find out after surgery this surgery is deadly and alot can go wrong. When people ask me now what I think I tell them NOT to do it. I'm still dealing with the fact that I almost died it's been horrific. Lorraine

I am so sorry that you had a difficult time of it. There are serious complications that are possible with this surgery, but those complications are equally as possible without it. My triglycerides about six months ago were over 600, and my cholesterol levels were so high, they were LITERALLY off the charts. They could not be measured. Am I at risk to have surgery? Yes. But I'm also at risk to NOT have surgery. I hope that you are able to get everything worked out so that you can lead a normal life. It's sad to go into something like this with hope, and end up having your dreams butchered by an inept surgeon. --BT

Hi Erin - Wishing you well, and I'm glad your day is almost here. I'm always interested in seeing how people are preparing for the first few weeks post-op - I've been steadily getting things in place for myself and hubby, but can't imagine also get things in order for kids. Good for you! Take care, Mary Mc

Erin, I know exactly how you are feeling. It is funny because I pretty much wrote the same thing in my profile about 10 minutes ago. Can you please tell me what your Pre-Op diet is? I wasn't given one except for the day before the surgery. I did stop drinking soda which I am horribly addicted too. But I didn't want to go through withdrawls after surgery and deal with all that will be going on then too. Tomorrow is my birthday so I will probably have my last bite of cake tomorrow(hopefully icecream cake). My surgery is the day after yours, and I go Wed for my Pre Op. I think that I am at peace with my decision and then I read something like was written to you about the heart attack and I start thnking all over again. I have 3 children. I am on my 2nd marriage and I am not sure my current husband would be able to keep my children togethor. I know I shouldn't think like this- but I kind of feel like I have to. How is that for a slap in the head? Am I being selfish for doing this? I am scared.

Hi Christine... My pre-op diet is two protein shakes a day and one "real" meal. My doctor believes in the pre-op diet for two reasons..... 1. Shrinks your liver so there is less chance of it getting in his way during surgery, and 2. it helps prepare you for life post op. HAPPY BIRTHDAY a little early You know at first I was really upset by that post this mornning. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that she has a point. We do need to consider the what ifs. I read her small profile and it gave me some comfort as I have reasearched my doctor well. I've spoken to him about al the good and teh bad of RNY. However, today I finalized my living will/ health care proxy just in case. You are not selfish for doing this! I had the same thought... and my Step-Mom relaly helped me with it. She said your doing this for your children so that they can have a Mother. I see where I am headed if I don't do this.. and I see that I have exhausted my options. Who's to say the next diet pill my doctor perscribes isn't going to kill me?!?!? My life and my family are with me taking this risk. I am worth taking this risk....You are worth taking this risk.... To be honest I'd be more worried if we wheren't scared. *hugs* Erin

Erin, I guess I really haven't had much support esp. from my friends. They have actually given me a really hard time and have siad some not so nice things, but I think it is because they are scared. They have asked me if I want to leave my children with no mother. I guess that message you got really hit home. But you are right- I have tried everything else. Who know I could choke on a piece of apple tomorrow and die- at least this is trying to do something healthy. Thank you very much for the pick me up and the support. Please keep in touch. Christine

"They have asked me if I want to leave my children with no mother. " And here's what you should tell them: Of course not - which is why I'm electing to have surgery which has a SMALL risk of premature mortality rather than live with obesity which guarantees I'll die young.

My surgery is 9/14 and you described exactly how I feel!! But when skinny people ask me if I'm nervous, I always tell them 'not at all'. I feel bad lying to them for about a half a second and then realize that they have no idea what it feels like to be soooooooo overwight.