something funny to read....

AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER, > BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE > Dear Mr. Thatcher, > I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years > and appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core > or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or > salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down > the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be > your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company > smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be > aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month > knowing there's a > little F-16 in my pants. > Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from > "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is > starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces > violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my > body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to > call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? > As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt > seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' > monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the > bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense > mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely > realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, > my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's > testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he > thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point > is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just > crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. > Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the > throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and > yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on > the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period." > Are you ******g kidding me? > What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really > think happiness- actual smiling, laughing happiness- is possible > during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the > least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some > kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" > about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua > and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the > local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to > end your life in a blaze of glory. > For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap > a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say > something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or > "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us? > Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective > immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have > chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will > certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your > brand of condescending bull**** And that's a promise I will keep. > >

Heidi, Thanks so much for the entertainment!! I thouroughly enjoyed reading that wonderful letter!! I laughed out loud so loud that the teacher down the hallway came a runnin' to find out what was so funny( it was a man so I am sure he was not as amused as I was and could not understand at all) Anyway, ThANKS, jacqueline