I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!

I'm sorry I haven't been around - life has been just a little crazy - Kerri (my oldest daughter; 22) got engaged for Thanksgiving and has decided that they really want to get married in August (no she's not pregnant...thank God!)...she is 9 hours away from me in Rochester, NY (graduating from college in May)...her fiance is from Buffalo (10 hours from me)... he is very close to his grandparents (Kerri doesn't have any alive) and they can't travel so the wedding will be up there near them -- against my better judgement but it's HER wedding - and honestly it's for the best since I can't afford to give her a $40,000+ Long Island wedding!!!! They have rented a private house - it's gorgeous - on 15 acres of wooded and flat land for a week - the wedding will be on August 11 - Mom (me) feels a little out of the loop being so far away and already having a bit of a hard time with the new in-laws...Andrew (the fiance) has 2 sisters - one married and one slightly younger than him - this woman has her own daughters...why is she pushing to get so close to mine? Kerri called me 3 weeks ago and told me that Mary (his mom) wanted to take her "dress shopping" and would I mind if she went with her just to look...I don't know, call me selfish, but I wanted that to be something that Kerri & I would do together...something just for us, so I guess I got a little upset..(okay maybe more than a little) and started to cry on the phone...(I think that was the culmination of everything building up) - she said that she wouldn't go...I told her that I was sorry and she should go look but that she shouldn't buy anything until I got up there (March 14 - 18) (Kerri is 5' and weighs in at 117 lbs - she can buy a dress of the rack) -- she agreed to that. They went to this store...the sales woman was so pushy about Kerri trying dresses on - Kerri said that she didn't want to do it until "mom" was with her...Mary told her that it wouldn't hurt to try them on...Kerri said she wanted to leave and ended up walking out of the store in tears ..she called me when she got back to the house and had calmed down...needless to say now I was annoyed ...she will wait now until I get up there in 2 weeks and we will find her a dress! It's bad enough that her sister is her maid of honor and in Ireland until June so she doesn't have her to help much either...while I am there we will work on the caterer, the photographer, the tents, the waitstaff, the florist, booking a block of hotel rooms for guests to stay at (Kerri's entire family will be coming from Long Island and around the country!) - it's going to be a very very busy 5 days in March!!! At the same time I am busy planning her bridal shower to be held on July 7 here on Long Island - oh and did I happen to mention that I am dating and trying to meet Mr. Right during all of this???? I haven't lost any weight which isn't helping my frustrations any - I have been going to the gym very very sporatically - if I get there 1x a week it's good - this week I have promised to put myself back on track and get back to ME - I went out last night and bought all my fresh vegies and fruit for the week - went home and cut them up and put them in containers so that when I get home I can just cook - I drank 5 bottles of water (25 oz) yesterday and made sure I got all my protein - I'm already at 3 bottles in today and I brought my gym clothes with me for after work...I WILL get back to this - besides I have incentive...if Kerri's dad chooses to show up for her wedding (I won't hold my breath) I want to be in that size 8!! (I'm in a 10 now) just to see the look on his face...I was in a size 16 when we met and got married and in a 24 when I changed the locks - so he's never seen me this small and I really hope he brings his girlfriend (she weighed about 200 last time I saw her!!) - I just want to see the look on their faces I know this was very very long - I'm sorry - I think I just needed to vent! I feel better now so thank you - any suggestions you have about the new "in-laws" would be most appreciated!!! hope I didn't bore you guys too much... I have missed all of you...and have read every single word you guys have typed for the last month! Shel - you look wonderful and I love the pics of "bean" - you are still my inspiration!!! Donna - I miss your smile and words of wisdom - don't worry hon that pilates twit WILL get hers - what goes around comes around - screw her - you're so much better than she is!!! Heidi - I'm sorry I missed your birthday - Happy 35th!!! Paula - what's doing with the move? do I need to come up there and kick your butt into packing mode? Barb - sweetie don't rush into things with the boyfriend...just move slow - don't jump from the frying pan into the fire!!! make sure it's what you REALLY want - oh and that picture he took? WOW - you look WONDERFUL! good for you! and kudos for putting it out there for us to see...I'm impressed! Ila - my thoughts and prayers are with Jo****hink of him often Everyone else - I hope you're all well and I look forward to contributing more - I will never just leave - I like the idea of checking in on the first of each month Pam - Great Idea! Stacy - damn you look good - I'm jealous! I miss and love all of you - and I thank God you're here for me to vent to!!! You guys are the best Love...Linda 300/164/150 (personal goal to be achieved by June!!!)

Hey linda....Seems like you've been busy.....not something I want to look forward to anytime soon since my daughter is 13... Sounds like its going to be a day to rember though.....inlaws pretty much suck in my book... but i am just the daughter inlaw...your daughter knows who her mom is and beleive me she wont forget it... Miss you too....thanks for the birthday wish. Heidi

I never really experienced the "in-law" thing - I got married in 82 and my mother in-law passed away in 83 - she was sick with cancer when we got married - my father in-law was wonderful but passed away in 86....I lost both of my parents in 89 - the 80's basically sucked!!!! Kerri and I are very close - I hate that she is so far away from me but we will get thru this and make it an amazing day for her...I just have to bite my tongue and behave myself...it will all come down to me & Kerri in the end! Hope your birthday was happy hon and thanx for the support

welcome back stranger She may be looking and getting ideas but the one thing I can assure you she is looking forward to is doing the dream with mom. Unless it's a really unusual relationship the one thing the girl never changes in her plans growing up is that her momma is right there going through all of it with her , besides who else would know her better? Let them take her and get her ideas and be supportive of it because right now she is stuck between a rock and a hard place and she can't please everyone it will be easier to fight the pressure if it's only coming from one side. try something like it's okay to go looking and getting ideas and i'll look for ideas from here and then there will be less for us to stress though when we finally sit down to decide on the final things you want. Enjoy it while it lasts Shel

there she is!!! hey "mamma" you're going to make a great mom - you really are. My girls are my best friends - we talk about anything and everything together...it's just very very difficult with her being so far away from me and planning a wedding. I always dreamed of the fantasy wedding for her...I just want her to be happy in whatever she does in life... thanx sweetie! I always appreciate your input! Linda

Linda, Welcome back!!! I've missed you...Love the joke type of emails you send me, but I miss hearing from YOU! Gosh, tell that Mary to go you know where! It's YOUR daughter's wedding and just because she's up there with her now, doesn't give her the right to take over...She'll have to wait till her daughters get their day. I don't blame you for getting pissed off, I would...and I would have cried, too. I'm glad that Kerri came to her senses (by crying ) and realized that she needed to wait for "mommy" to go with her! I hate pushy people like that...In March, let that beatch have it (Mary)...put her in her place. It sounds like it's going to be a wonderful place for an outdoor wedding. Will you hire a wedding planner to coordinate all of the tents, and stuff? They may pay off in looking into one, they do a great job. Too bad that I'm not closer, I planned both of my weddings in a month and they were awesome! I'm organized down to the nitty gritty and obsessive (like Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner!) with having every little thing ready and waiting "just in case" something happens! I should start my own business! Yes, I'm going nutso having to think about this move. Next week the hardwoods are going in, so, this week I'm getting this first floor cleared of crap and into boxes. We rented a storage unit and I'll be putting stuff in there as I pack. It'll make the house look a lot less cluttered and hopefully easier to sell. As far as a new house, we're not looking (we're browsing listings) because we don't want to get caught up in a contingency situation in having to sell this place. I just pray that it sells quickly... I'm not losing any more, either. But, like you, I'm not exercising, either. I've gotten the winter , lazy blues and don't feel like doing crap. The sun is shining differently today. I went out this am to walk the dogs and I could feel that spring is around the corner..I could feel it in the air and the sun. (I need sun, I'm deficient in Vit D)...THen I just hear Al Roker say that there may be snow in New England this weekend! ARgh. I love your long posts...email me those long ones cause it's like walking into your life for a bit and seeing what's going on. I personally love it. Wish more people would get so personal and kind of "journal" here and let us into their lives... Hint, hint! Dating...something I would NOT want to have to start doing now...I already had to do that twice already...I pray never again! I'm obsessed with the Anna Nicole Smith case and fiasco going on. I have all the shows on daily while I'm cleaning and laying around (I'm a stay at home mom/wife) and find it so fascinating that these people are fighting over her body...just bury her next to her son in the Bahamas. Her Mom just wants $$$$$$$$.... Anyways...enough for me. Keep posting...I'm curious about the wedding plans. Keep Mary away!!!!! Put her in her place, but with kid gloves. You can do it gently, but with your point across very well...Think about it and she won't even realize you told her where to go if you word it correctly! Paula

HEY PAULA! thanx for taking the time to read that entire thing your comments and suggestions mean a lot to me... so what do you think of this??? - I have come to the strong conclusion that all men in their mid forties to early fifties are PSYCHOTIC!!! omg they are all wack jobs... - I am laughing but honestly it's just not funny! I started dating about 5 months ago - you know you lose 136 lbs and your confidence goes up !! I have been told that I am "fat" (I weigh 164 lbs) this guy should have seen me 18 months ago at 300 lbs! I had one guy tell me that he and my personalities didn't "mesh" but he would be very interested in having an "intense sexual relationship" with me but that would be as far as it went...OMG -- There are more married men out there looking for "discreet relationships" than I ever imagined...I had one guy tell me that he really really liked me but because I wouldn't sleep with him on the 1st or the 2nd date he wasn't interested! ... then there was the guy that I went out with 3 times and he wanted me "exclusively" - said that I needed to come off the personals site because he wouldn't "share" me...oh and then we have the desperate and pathetic...I met a guy for drinks...within 30 mins of meeting him he asked me to go to his sons wedding with him - I told him that I didn't think that that was appropriate...the next morning I had an email where he PROPOSED to me...he said that I was the "woman of his dreams"!! Once I picked myself up off the floor from laughing I felt sorry for him... If nothing else - dating in my 40's is definately entertaining! It does seem, however, that the "nice" guys that are interested in me I have no interest in...the ones that I like have no interest in me....I think I am looking for excitement and adventure (for now) - the stable guys aren't exciting me! okay sooooooooo what's your take on all of this????