Christmas Present
jacjac
on 12/17/06 2:57 pm - apo, ae, NY
on 12/17/06 2:57 pm - apo, ae, NY
Barb,
Sorry to hear the news but happy for you. I know this is what you have wanted for a long time. I think about you and your courage often and hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself?!? Be safe and chin up. Happiness comes from within and at my support group meeting yesterday we all realized that no one else can make you happy, you must find happiness within you and make yourself happy( We had this psychologist come to our last meeting before this one and he talked about how we look outside ourselves for others or things(food) to make us happy and even now with our weight loss, most of us struggle to find happiness.) I hope you find it within yourself. Hugs, Love Jacqueline
Hi Barb, I don't really know how to respond. I know you are happy, and for that I am happy. Is this your first divorce? I have been through divorce, and even though it was not a bad one in that we had didn't have hard feelings, it was just so sad to go through. I know my ex is a lot happier now, and of course I am. But I still get tears in my eyes when I think of what we had and how sad it had to end that way. I was 19 when I married him -- he was a cowboy and I was a city girl and it just didn't mix. Except we tried to keep it together for 19 years!!
Anyway, for me, I am tons happier now than I ever thought possible. Yes, I am glad I did it. But even now, 25 years later, it still is sad. I guess I'm telling you this, in case this is your first divorce, just so you'll be prepared for these emotions even though you do want this so badly.
Give yourself some time too, Barb. See what's out there and enjoy yourself. Don't go from one bad situation to another.
There -- now you see why Shelly calls me "Ma"!! I didn't mean to lecture, and I hope it didn't come off that way. This is all with much love and support to you Barb, for whatever you need. I wish I lived closer to you so I could give you more face to face friendship.
much love
donna
Thanks everyone. Im thinking hard on all this. But I do know me and Dave are getting a divorce. We are both acting alittle releived we came to this decision. I think he is happy because I gave him enough time to see we wasnt meant to be. I wantedhis divorce years ago. Im going to do all I can to make myself happy. Okay on the other hand
Please give me advise
My family is a pain in the ass.
My dad is mad at me calling me and telling me he is going to write me out of the well. And sisters are mad.
Why is it any of their business. I had Dave call them up. But they are still mad. They need to but out of my business and let me find true love. Donna this is my second marragie Me and Dave been together 16 years. We have no children and very few happy moments. We both seen it comming. I am so glad he has accepted it. Beleive it or not. I didnt want to hurt him.
Now i feel he is ready
Take Care
Love
Barb
Can always use a another Mom even thow I am 49 My Moms in heaven. God I miss her !!!!
hey barb -
I'm happy for you because you are happy - but I do need to second Donna Mae...
I was married 21 years when things completely fell apart...unlike Donna tho we parted with many harsh feelings towards each other and have no communication at all - it's very strange to have been with someone for 25 years of your life (more than 1/2 my life) and suddenly they are no longer there...it's a HUGE transition. Am I happier than I was when we were married - yes for many reasons...I have no more stress, no more emotional roller coasters but I also have my memories of when my kids were small and we were a family - it does make me sad to know that he and I will never have anything again but also that we caused such sadness in our childrens lives...I have lost over 325 lbs since he left - 185 of him and 140 lbs from me (lol) ... holiday's were difficult the first 2 years but then I started dating and things started to look up more. Just take it slow Barb...please don't rush into anything with anyone else - find yourself and figure out what you want from life and what will make you happy.
I wish you the very best - if you need anything or someone to talk to I am here for you!
Love, Linda