What is YOUR hardest rule??

Glad your back. I said the same thing this morning. I ate halloween candy allot over the weekend. My depression is there. But I need to over come it. Because its not good for my heart.... I wish I had true happiness, I think that would be so good for me. Is there such thing. I read on all these boards how wonderful everyones husbands are and how much they love them. I think god im so lonely here. Im doing the right thing for our marriage and stop what I was doing. I put a end to it. But havent been happy since. Really I miss him so bad. I want to call him and I dont. Maybe I need a divorce. But that would be to stressful to me. So maybe I need to live my life unhappy. And not fill that void. I ask him for marraige counsling he wont do it. He is so hateful and grumpy and depressed it brings me to his level. I need to figure this out. It is so nice to fill loved and to be treated like as princess. I guess it all a fairy tale. and I have to live my life like this Hugs to you Barb