Long long long - but oh so worth your time
Hi Guys and dolls, I have been thinking alot about our struggles, and haven't read all the posts but see we have some things going on. So here is a post from my girlfriend Leilani's profile, which I know some of you know her. I've posted her words of wisdom before. Anyway, this might be helpful and I wanted to pass it along. By the way, Lei has some jeans that she calls her 'skinney jeans' and she has now gotten back into them -- whoo hooo == and if you would like to see her in them, along with me on my one year anniversary picture, it's in my profile at the bottom. I like so little compared to her, just short!! And I am 5'7, but she's 5'9 or 5'10. I went to VA Beach to visit with some of my VA beach girlfriends, and it was a nice way to spend my last weekend before surgery!!
Anyway for what it's worth, please read and let's see if we can get back on track. We're not done with our journey, at least I'm not. I think I might still be up 10 lbs from my surgery but I haven't weighed.
(I'm lying in bed on my side typing this - what a hoot!!)
Hope some of this helps!!
love
donna
New day, new way - 1400 calories a day!
Sooooooooooooo - I think it's safe to say that the 10 lb water weight GAIN from my new blood pressure pills have me in one hell of a tizzy!?!
As I said in my last update, I could handle it if it would ALSO come off as fast as it's sucking on. The biggest problem with "it's not real weight" ...is that your clothes don't know that. Everything I put on feels tighter (because along with these 10 lbs are 10 pounds of REAL weight gain, for a total of 20 above goal). I know I can get the water weight off, er, once the doc tweaks my BP meds, but until then, I feel like a big ol' puffy freakn marshmallow, even my wedding rings that I resized (finally) 6 months ago, Ive taken off. Hurts to wear 'em.
Gotta love this life of a "recovering Obese-aholic!".
I always knew it would be challenging, so that's no surprise, but hot damn, it's beyond HARD when you try to do everything right - move more, eat less, monitor salt, etc and end up with another 10 pounds, practically over night. So, let's just put those 10 aside and focus on the TEN from real weight gain. I realize, when Im completely honest with myself, that my food choices suck at times. Oh, and that "eating less" does not mean only having 2 pieces of fudge, instead of 3. [blonde tilt]
I just spent about an hour on www.FitDay.com creating a 1400 calorie day that includes LOTS of small meals. I've decided that my constant need to EAT has got to be battled with very very low calorie stuff and instead of 3 meals a day, I'm upping it to 8 or so [3 of which will be protein shakes]. Most "health data" would call this new food plan of mine, GRAZING, but you know what? That's exactly what Im doing on a daily basis ANYWAY. Grazing, grazing, grazing, constantly on anything that's within my reach!
So if I can't get the damn grazing under control, I need to fine tune WHAT I'm grazing on. This is my meal planner for today. I haven't figured out how to link my FitDay account to my profile, so I'll just recap it.
6:00 am Protein Shake
8:00 am Turkey-pepperoni pieces (17)
10:00 am Protein Shake
11:00 am Yogurt Fit n Light
1:00 am 4 oz roast beef, 3 slices swiss cheese, onions, mustard
1/2 cup Japanese cucumbers
2:00 am Protein Shake
4:00 am Turkey-pepperoni pieces (17)
6:00 am Steamed Lau-Lau (pork w/spinach wrapped in banana leaves)
1/2 cup white rice
1/2 cup Japanese cucumbers
8:00 am 6 crackers (Ritz lite) w/lite garlic cheese spread
9:00 am medium orange
Additional free snacks at any time: cucumbers (raw/plain), celery, tomatoes, carrots, radishes! Ive already got them washed, peeled, bagged and ready to grab.
Im not counting the calories in any of the free snacks, since the act of chewing pretty much zero's it out. I just want something there to keep me from succumbing to the voices in my head that say "its okay to snarf down the cake or cookies, cause it's lite or sugar free" ....aaaargh, oh and phooey! Calories are calories, too much of anything, even the healthy stuff (like protein), turns to fat.
Anyway - with the food planner (above) that I just put in FitDay, this is the breakdown:
Calories = 1405
Fat = 50
Carbs = 89
Protein = 143 (69 from shakes)
Also, here is a really COOL Calorie Counter site Calorie Counter site that also predicts how many MAX calories you should be consuming to lose "x" amount of pounds in "x" amount of days. Based on this information and plugging in my stats (height, current weight, goal weight, age and exercise levels) it said by keeping my calories at 1456 a day, I'd be at goal (minus the damn 10 pounds) by the 1st of August.
Well, that's my goal date and I plan on putting an "X" on my calendar every single day to scream my successes!!!!!
I'm sick and damn tired of complaining about it, talking about it, stressing about it, grumbling about it, waking up in the middle of the night, etc (yes, it's gotten that bad) and still not making any REAL changes to correct it.
It's also easier for me to just "accept it" when we (other long term weight loss surgery friends) get together as a collective group, in real space here in Virginia. We all tend to have empathy/sympathy for each other which then in turn makes it all more acceptable. Afterall, we're all in the same "bounce back boat".
Unfortunately, all the conversations, sympathy and empathy isn't going to take MY pounds off. It's like I'm finding safety in numbers, since others understand, fear and experience the same issues with weight issues. Almost as if I'm giving myself 'passive' permission, of sorts, that it's okay to just keep bobbing along with this bounce.
Well, as you can probably tell by the "tone" of my last few updates, Ive had it and I've put myself on NOTICE!!! Im fed up with myself and terrified, all wrapped up into one. I KNOW me and I know my ability for self destruction. I will eventually give up if I don't keep it within controllable levels NOW. Yep, there have been too many sleepless nights, lately, worrying and obsessing.
One of my strengths in life is finances and budgeting. Not bragging, just facts, I'm better then most. I've been known to scare a penny into reproduction. Well, that's the aggressive way I'm going to start treating my BANK OF CALORIES!!! I'm a hell of a lot more important then money and yet I give my bills, cash flow, banking, 401's, annuities, etc. more consideration and effort towards success, than myself. Go figure!
Paul's sub is officially repaired and he goes back underwater soon - he's been put on notice to eat every bad thing in this house or take it to the office or it becomes squirrel food. With him under water it'll be easier to keep the high calorie crap OUT of the house. Now, in my hubby's defense, it truly is not even REMOTELY his fault that the stuff makes it into the house in the first place. He never wants it, never suggests it (short of an ice cream fix every blue moon) and he never buys it. It's always ME, me me! I'll see something that triggers my "sweet-****puppy" tooth at every store, restaurant, deli, bakery, etc I walk into. Then I talk HIM into "wanting it too", if he'll agree to help eat most of it, I justify buying it. Then when it gets into the house - he forgets it's there and I remember HOURLY!
I think one of my problems is that I just became to complacent. I got lazy with everything, my food choices, succumbing to temptation, not drinking my water, not moving more, not tracking EVERY bite I eat and WAY TOO many "low estimates" and missed calories. Sure, not the entire 20 lbs is "fat", we've established that ....but, we all know Ive been fighting FIFTEEN pounds, off and on, for about 9 or 10 months now. Hell - might even be a year now? So it stands to reason, half of it, I need to take ownership of and get it OFF!..... the remaining water weight still needs to be dealt with, my fault or not.
What I will be focusing on more then anything, is my daily credit allowance of 1400 calories, period! I want to train my brain to realize it's not an open calorie/cash flow. If I over spend in the real world, I'm over drawn. If I over eat and extend my calories, I'm over weight.
I've been talking to myself ALL day - trying to go with the repetition aspect of it. Telling myself it's no different then walking into a restaurant with $14.00 cash and no available credit/debit cards. I wouldn't then look at the menu and order a $35.00 lobster. I have NO choice but to choose foods that fall within my calorie budget.
Although I'll allow myself to have variances, skip meals, or eat higher calorie food choices, it's okay - as long as I understand/accept when the entire 1400 is gone, so are my food choices for the day. I hate tracking my food, it's always bored me, but if that Calorie Counter is right, it's only 70+ days, 2 1/2 months - I know I can stick to logging for that amount of time.
We'll see - you know how it is when you "start a new food plan" you're always so gung-ho. It's getting past the first week that'll be the REAL test! 
So, WISH ME LUCK!!!.... this is my first "1400 calorie Day" (with 76 more days left) to get to goal.
New day, new way - 1400 calories a day!
Sooooooooooooo - I think it's safe to say that the 10 lb water weight GAIN from my new blood pressure pills have me in one hell of a tizzy!?!
As I said in my last update, I could handle it if it would ALSO come off as fast as it's sucking on. The biggest problem with "it's not real weight" ...is that your clothes don't know that. Everything I put on feels tighter (because along with these 10 lbs are 10 pounds of REAL weight gain, for a total of 20 above goal). I know I can get the water weight off, er, once the doc tweaks my BP meds, but until then, I feel like a big ol' puffy freakn marshmallow, even my wedding rings that I resized (finally) 6 months ago, Ive taken off. Hurts to wear 'em.
Gotta love this life of a "recovering Obese-aholic!".
I always knew it would be challenging, so that's no surprise, but hot damn, it's beyond HARD when you try to do everything right - move more, eat less, monitor salt, etc and end up with another 10 pounds, practically over night. So, let's just put those 10 aside and focus on the TEN from real weight gain. I realize, when Im completely honest with myself, that my food choices suck at times. Oh, and that "eating less" does not mean only having 2 pieces of fudge, instead of 3. [blonde tilt]
I just spent about an hour on www.FitDay.com creating a 1400 calorie day that includes LOTS of small meals. I've decided that my constant need to EAT has got to be battled with very very low calorie stuff and instead of 3 meals a day, I'm upping it to 8 or so [3 of which will be protein shakes]. Most "health data" would call this new food plan of mine, GRAZING, but you know what? That's exactly what Im doing on a daily basis ANYWAY. Grazing, grazing, grazing, constantly on anything that's within my reach!
So if I can't get the damn grazing under control, I need to fine tune WHAT I'm grazing on. This is my meal planner for today. I haven't figured out how to link my FitDay account to my profile, so I'll just recap it.
6:00 am Protein Shake
8:00 am Turkey-pepperoni pieces (17)
10:00 am Protein Shake
11:00 am Yogurt Fit n Light
1:00 am 4 oz roast beef, 3 slices swiss cheese, onions, mustard
1/2 cup Japanese cucumbers
2:00 am Protein Shake
4:00 am Turkey-pepperoni pieces (17)
6:00 am Steamed Lau-Lau (pork w/spinach wrapped in banana leaves)
1/2 cup white rice
1/2 cup Japanese cucumbers
8:00 am 6 crackers (Ritz lite) w/lite garlic cheese spread
9:00 am medium orange
Additional free snacks at any time: cucumbers (raw/plain), celery, tomatoes, carrots, radishes! Ive already got them washed, peeled, bagged and ready to grab.
Im not counting the calories in any of the free snacks, since the act of chewing pretty much zero's it out. I just want something there to keep me from succumbing to the voices in my head that say "its okay to snarf down the cake or cookies, cause it's lite or sugar free" ....aaaargh, oh and phooey! Calories are calories, too much of anything, even the healthy stuff (like protein), turns to fat.
Anyway - with the food planner (above) that I just put in FitDay, this is the breakdown:
Calories = 1405
Fat = 50
Carbs = 89
Protein = 143 (69 from shakes)
Also, here is a really COOL Calorie Counter site Calorie Counter site that also predicts how many MAX calories you should be consuming to lose "x" amount of pounds in "x" amount of days. Based on this information and plugging in my stats (height, current weight, goal weight, age and exercise levels) it said by keeping my calories at 1456 a day, I'd be at goal (minus the damn 10 pounds) by the 1st of August.
Well, that's my goal date and I plan on putting an "X" on my calendar every single day to scream my successes!!!!!
I'm sick and damn tired of complaining about it, talking about it, stressing about it, grumbling about it, waking up in the middle of the night, etc (yes, it's gotten that bad) and still not making any REAL changes to correct it.
It's also easier for me to just "accept it" when we (other long term weight loss surgery friends) get together as a collective group, in real space here in Virginia. We all tend to have empathy/sympathy for each other which then in turn makes it all more acceptable. Afterall, we're all in the same "bounce back boat".
Unfortunately, all the conversations, sympathy and empathy isn't going to take MY pounds off. It's like I'm finding safety in numbers, since others understand, fear and experience the same issues with weight issues. Almost as if I'm giving myself 'passive' permission, of sorts, that it's okay to just keep bobbing along with this bounce.
Well, as you can probably tell by the "tone" of my last few updates, Ive had it and I've put myself on NOTICE!!! Im fed up with myself and terrified, all wrapped up into one. I KNOW me and I know my ability for self destruction. I will eventually give up if I don't keep it within controllable levels NOW. Yep, there have been too many sleepless nights, lately, worrying and obsessing.
One of my strengths in life is finances and budgeting. Not bragging, just facts, I'm better then most. I've been known to scare a penny into reproduction. Well, that's the aggressive way I'm going to start treating my BANK OF CALORIES!!! I'm a hell of a lot more important then money and yet I give my bills, cash flow, banking, 401's, annuities, etc. more consideration and effort towards success, than myself. Go figure!
Paul's sub is officially repaired and he goes back underwater soon - he's been put on notice to eat every bad thing in this house or take it to the office or it becomes squirrel food. With him under water it'll be easier to keep the high calorie crap OUT of the house. Now, in my hubby's defense, it truly is not even REMOTELY his fault that the stuff makes it into the house in the first place. He never wants it, never suggests it (short of an ice cream fix every blue moon) and he never buys it. It's always ME, me me! I'll see something that triggers my "sweet-****puppy" tooth at every store, restaurant, deli, bakery, etc I walk into. Then I talk HIM into "wanting it too", if he'll agree to help eat most of it, I justify buying it. Then when it gets into the house - he forgets it's there and I remember HOURLY!
I think one of my problems is that I just became to complacent. I got lazy with everything, my food choices, succumbing to temptation, not drinking my water, not moving more, not tracking EVERY bite I eat and WAY TOO many "low estimates" and missed calories. Sure, not the entire 20 lbs is "fat", we've established that ....but, we all know Ive been fighting FIFTEEN pounds, off and on, for about 9 or 10 months now. Hell - might even be a year now? So it stands to reason, half of it, I need to take ownership of and get it OFF!..... the remaining water weight still needs to be dealt with, my fault or not.
What I will be focusing on more then anything, is my daily credit allowance of 1400 calories, period! I want to train my brain to realize it's not an open calorie/cash flow. If I over spend in the real world, I'm over drawn. If I over eat and extend my calories, I'm over weight.
I've been talking to myself ALL day - trying to go with the repetition aspect of it. Telling myself it's no different then walking into a restaurant with $14.00 cash and no available credit/debit cards. I wouldn't then look at the menu and order a $35.00 lobster. I have NO choice but to choose foods that fall within my calorie budget.
Although I'll allow myself to have variances, skip meals, or eat higher calorie food choices, it's okay - as long as I understand/accept when the entire 1400 is gone, so are my food choices for the day. I hate tracking my food, it's always bored me, but if that Calorie Counter is right, it's only 70+ days, 2 1/2 months - I know I can stick to logging for that amount of time.
We'll see - you know how it is when you "start a new food plan" you're always so gung-ho. It's getting past the first week that'll be the REAL test! So, WISH ME LUCK!!!.... this is my first "1400 calorie Day" (with 76 more days left) to get to goal. 
Hi Micha, thanks for that compliment!! I wouldn't say skinny since I am still considered 'overweight' by my weight and height, but I guess compared to how I used to look, it's an improvement!!. I have to give credit for my thin legs to the years that I was a professional cheerleader for an NFL team (go RAMS!!!), I think some of the muscle must have stayed.
Anyway, thank you sweet friend, I am trying to get back online as much as possible, but if it's not my silly knee then my bum hurts. This is the pits!!
love
donna
Hi there Donna,
Boy, thanks for that post! So much insight from your friend. That's exACTly how I feel to a "T". I am SUCH a grazer. Even when not necessarily hungry, I feel like I need to grab "something" to eat. This plan of your friends is right on. To PLAN 8 mini-meals a day is a great idea. I'm going to have to do that too. Thank you Donna and thank your friend for the great pep talk.
:wave
Kelly
That's exACTly how I feel to a "T". I am SUCH a grazer. Even when not necessarily hungry, I feel like I need to grab "something" to eat. This plan of your friends is right on. To PLAN 8 mini-meals a day is a great idea. I'm going to have to do that too. Thank you Donna and thank your friend for the great pep talk.
:wave
Kelly Hi Kelly, yes, I loved this advice as well!! I like the idea that you give yourself so many calories - say 1400 - and then pace them out. That might work for me. As soon as I get back to normal I am going to try that. I haven't been eating very well/much since surgery, but am getting in my protein, but not much else. But I think I'm still up in weight!! Oh well, it isn't freaking me out- what is freaking me out is not walking or sitting very good!!
Time heals everything, right. Keep a good thought for me honey!!
love
donna
Wow Donna! I sooooooo needed that post!! I have been grazing too, and not getting my water in, and eating the wrong things.
Im a year out now, and getting lazy. SO, thanks for the kick where I needed it! Im gonna try that set number of calories a day. I did that before, I can do it again.
Saw my doc yesterday, and although he was pleased with my success, he said,,the ball is in my court now. Its up to me. Since Im gonna be working for the Clinic, I need to do my best. After all, how can I be the Poster Child if Im not following the rules??
Thanks again, I love this board! Everyone is so helpful!!
And you are Gorgeous girl!!
Im a year out now, and getting lazy. SO, thanks for the kick where I needed it! Im gonna try that set number of calories a day. I did that before, I can do it again.
Saw my doc yesterday, and although he was pleased with my success, he said,,the ball is in my court now. Its up to me. Since Im gonna be working for the Clinic, I need to do my best. After all, how can I be the Poster Child if Im not following the rules??
Thanks again, I love this board! Everyone is so helpful!!
And you are Gorgeous girl!! Hi Betsy, yup I think this could be the answer, or at least a good suggestion. I hate that when they say 'the ball is in your court'. Ugh, I want it to be in their court!! But we knew that when we did this. I remember my surgeon said after surgery, there, I've done my part the rest is up to you.
You'll be a great poster child. One nice thing is it's good to be realistic to everyone. I think Shelly posted that once, about how people considering surgery should be totally honest with what they are willing to put into it. Did someone say this is the easy way out -- ha ha!!
love
donna
OOOOOH!! Dontcha just hate it when someone says that???
Whats easy about having your body rearranged, undergoing all the testing pre op, and post op, facing the fears of the surgery itself...easy way..I think NOT!
But I would do it again in a heartbeat, knowing what I know now!!! Its still the best thing I have ever done for myself!
Hi Betsy, yeah, I heard I think it was Matt Lauer on the Today show interviewing Rueben Steudard from Am Idol, and he said Rueben has lost over 100 pounds and did it 'the old fashioned way with no surgery', that made me so mad. I was wishing Al Roker would have popped him one.
I'm like you Betsy, would absolutely do it again in a NY minute. I am just sorry I didn't do this 10 years ago!! Or 20!!
Take care,
love
donna
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