my reply to Michelle

Thank you Michelle. Michelle was brave enough to post about sabatoging ourselves. If anyone know why we do it please let us know. I feel like a Jerry seinfeld show. We KNOW HOW to do the PROGRAM...... DAMN I feel like such a failure tonight. I was so embarrassed that I wasn't going to post a reply to Michelle but then I realized I had to let her know that she was not alone. That this will always be a life long battle and the sooner I address it the better. Hi Michelle, Boy you are not alone. I just don't understand it. WHY do we do this to ourselves? This is really some wicked sickness. I can't even begin to tell you about my day today. I have NEVER had a day like this since before surgery. I am so ashamed of myself. So ashamed I wasn't even going to answer you post because I'm so embarrassed. I really don't know what is wrong with us. I work with the public and every day I receive so many praises. last night I had people come in just to see me because they heard how great I was doing. so why do we Sabatoge ourselves? I know HOW to do the program but today I CHOOSE NOT TO DO THE PROGRAM. Koukla

Koukla, I think the reason we sabotage ourselves sometimes is because we're HUMAN. That's the only reason. We lived for SO many years in our old habits that just one small year will we change totally to the new way of thinking and doing. I sabotage too, but try not to. I've tried to change my behaviors as much as I can to do something else when I feel the urge to eat. Sometimes I just let myself go and binge and get it over with. I usually feel physically awful afterwards, and I don't want to do it again soon. To me, it's just not worth it. I also allow myself to have a "treat" of the old "taboo" foods from time to time to make me feel like I'm not cheating myself out of anything. Just because I changed my internal plumbing doesn't mean that I had to shut myself from everything that tasted good. I just have to take two or three bites and leave it at that. It's hard to do, but that has to be the way of life for me from now on. Paula

Paula, Thank you so much. today I felt the same way you said. binge and get it over with. And the rest of the day and I'm sure even during the middle of the night I will be feeling awul because of it. But I am hoping that I won't do it again too soon. You are right - it's just not worth it. Your reply has helped me so much. It makes me know that we are not alone in this battle. Thank you again. Koukla