Whats wrong with me

First of all my lap top is broken again. I need to send it back in. The screen is blacked out. Okay. This past month I have been over eating so bad. I am eating larger portions. I have been lazy about excercise. I have been sober maybe. Maybe depression is setting in. Why can I eat so much. Why doesnt food bother me. Am I going back into my old habits. I use to love macronies and tomatoes and bacon onions and hot suace and garlic. I have been eating that alot lately. I can eat a big bowl of it.I ate ice cream tonight. No it was not diet. I feel bloated and have put on a few pounds. Please give me advice. What would you suggest I do. I feel like crappppp. I feel quilty. I feel like if I cant drink I will eat. I need to get this staraightened out. Tomoorrw moring Im waking up and walking..... First thing. I think my husband is driving mne crazy as well. He anoring so bad. Hugs all and happy aniversary. NBarb

Okay here's the plan .. Come over here first thing in the morning and we will have a hot cup of coffe, strap on our sneakers and go walking till we either fall down or have nothing left to ***** about, between the two of us venting frustrations it should be a couple hours at least...lol And we will feel better... Either that or send me a nice long ranting e-mail...hay you , yeah you...put down that spoon it's after 8 pm come talk to me instead.. Hugs, Shel

Barb, Hate to say it, but i thnk what you are going through is so normal with the eating thing. For a while I was on a kick and just eating, snacking all night long...not tons, but not good stuff either. I was also into these sugar free shortbread cookies and could and did many nights eat the whole container in one sitting. I never ate shortbread cookies before the surger but here I was about 5 pounds from goal and eating these stupid cookies every night!! It was hard but with the support of others here on this website, we are agreeing not to eat after 800 and it has now been two days without those stupid cookies. I think we are all the same about eating: We are returning to old bad habits when we are stressed or so far from where we were last year: Unknown territory. We need help with dealing with the newness of who we are. I am seeking counseling to deal with body image: I still feel really FAT and have lost over 114 pounds with about 5 more to go!! It is strange what our brain tells us. Hang in there. Recommit to exercise and eating good things. Gosh, you were the queen of exercise at onepoint with the eliptical and other things. Take care of you and your new body and get back to it. Take care and best wishes during our anniversary month. Thanks for ALL you have given me this past year. I always read your posts and have gotten so much support and strength from you. Take care Barb, hugs, Jacqueline

Barb, GET THE BAD FOOD OUT OF THE HOUSE..... Only make enough food for one meal. Throw the rest out. You don't need the temptation of leftovers. If you want ice cream...go out and buy it at an ice cream stand DQ, etc. Sounds like you're having a problem with cross over addictions. Do you have a therapist to help you with this? It's SO easy for this to happen to us. Food was our addiction for so long, it's easy to take drugs, alcohol, shopping, etc and make it our new addiction. If you're having trouble with all of them, get to a meeting or your therapist. Hang in there...we all have times when we need to just pig out and start over. Heck, yesterday, I ate two small single packs of Pringles, a pack of ritz bits, a small pack of rice crispies treat, two slices of pizza. It was there and I was in a rush and I grabbed for all of the wrong foods. it happens, but I can't beat myself up for it, I just have to move on today and try to do better. Hang in there. paula

morning barb, I just finished up were you are at. In my time of thinking about all that I have gone through and all I am going through. I think that one thing I realized was that for the first 9 months, I worked my ass off and was satisfied with the results. I would see myself change, people would praise me, I was getting a lot of attention. Every week there were new cloths and surprises. Now with the weight slowly coming off things have changed. I am not the center of attention. It will be weeks before anyone makes a comment. The good part for me is that I am finally "seeing" the thin donna. I know that it takes a long time to get our head around our new exterior, but it is slowly happening and that has helped. I though I knew I was thin, but honestly I didn't really see it. I have also excepted that fact that like an alcoholic I am addicted to certain foods. I love my family to death but hey if I was an alcoholic nobody would mind if I didn't have alcohol in my house. So we don't allow certain foods in the house anymore. I also laid down the law about leaving food out on the counters. I don't mind home made cookies as long as you don't leave them on the counter so that I subconsciously walk by and eat them. Sorry this is long winded but I think that you are great and working you butt off to make everything in your life right. keep it up and just start each day with a positive note.... you have been successful and you can be again. donna

Barb, you have gotten some really good advice here (I love walking with Shel, wish I could!!!). I don't have anything different to add, it would be nice if you could talk to a therapist, but I know that's not always easy. I just want you to know we're here for you, and we can do this Barb. It's not easy, but we can do it. love donna