learning to take compliments is hard..

learning to adjust to a compliment is hard for me...anyone else...i sort of tell them they must be kidding or they need glasses..i just cant seem to take it and run...whats wrong with me...i talked to my husband in iraq on line today and he saw me through the web cam and he said very seriously that i was looking good and he was proud of me...i just had no comment and started to cry???whats wrong with me...i am so weird. i told him i was the one proud of him for him being over there. I never except the compliment...? I think i guess im still the overweight person who doesnt deserve the attention and then maybe im the one who had gotten so big i had to have surgery to loose weight and dont deserve the compliment because i didnt" "do it n my own " as some people have told me...but in fact it was me who decided to have surgery..and it is me eating what i need to...what do you think i guess i need therapy !!!hahahha jen

I understand you completely. I believe it's something inside all of us. I believe we feel we don't deserve to say thanks. I know I have a hard time with that too. Hope your husband will be home soon. Sincerely, Koukla

thanks for responding...and i am hoping for him to come home soon but reality is it will be 9 months before he gets to come home for the two weeks leave..so we have a long haul to go...but please keep all the troops in your prayer and daily thoughts. Thanks again for responding... jen

Jen, Totally get it. And despite all the hard work and knowing this wasn't the easy way out, it is still hard to accept compliments. It is such a head thing. Wish I had had brain surgery too when I had the RNY!!! It is also hard to look at my body and recognize the changes. Yes, I am a size 8 or 10, down from a 22 or 24 but it is so hard to recognize this and accept how much I have lost. Sounds like I need some of that therapy too!! On another note, I currently work overseas with Military Families and have intimate knowledge of the stress and pressure you are going through. Know you are in my thoughts and so are our Guys OVER THERE!! Hugs, jacqueline

Hi Jen, by the way, good start on your profile! Keep going. Put in your surgery date so it will show on you name. Ok, it is hard to get compliments but it always has been for me anyway. It's like I've said before, I feel if I don't disagree with the person than I am agreeing with them ad I'm conceited!! My husband told me to just say 'thank you', not to give any discussion. I have been trying that and it is getting easier. My usual response is 'you're kidding'. And my husband said that is sort of an insult to people and I don't want to do that. Jen, about your husband. Of course today is such an emotional day, but I want you to know, and to please tell your husband how much I appreciate his service to our country and what he is doing to make us safe. He and all the other service men and women are in my prayers, and I'm not just saying that, I really do pray for them every day. I have a nephew about to deploy to Afghanstian. Whenever me and husband encounter a soldier (or any military person) at like Starbucks, or eating at a restaurant we always pay their meal and thank them. We feel it is the least we can do for what they do for us. So let your husband know how much support and love he has. And please don't be hard on yourself about accepting compliments. Just do like my husband said, smile and say thank you. love you Jen donna

I know what you mean. I ran into someone yesterday in the market she is married to my daughter's godfather. She said" WOW you look good !" We talked a while and she said to me " you aren't planning on losing any more are you? " No one has ever said that to me ! I just smiled and said " yes , I would like to lose a little more"....made my day ! Sandy

Hi Jen, I think we've all gone through this at one point in our journey. For me, it was around 8 months and I couldn't "see" the weight loss, so, I couldn't understand the compliments. Can you get to a support group meeting or see a therapist that specializes in eating disorders? It would help you a lot because there will be people there that understand, and a therapist will help you get through it. Say thank you to your hubby when you talk to him again from me. I may not be in favor of a war, but support all of the troops over there for doing a good job for our country. You hang in there and keep your chin up! paula

I so understand. I actually had a big discussion with my mom on this one. She says that when someone compliments me I end up going into a long discussion about loosing weight etc. Or I joke about it. She says I have to learn to just say thank you and move on. It's supposed to be easy..... As far as crying on the phone with you DH. That to me would be a given, I don't know how all you military families go through this. I think of this often. Especially with 9/11 here. There are a lot of military families on this board and I wonder how those who sit at home waiting are making out. Let me say that there are a lot of us out here who are proud of him and everyone else who has stepped up to serve. Keep the faith donna