Addictions

HI Sydney, At first I thought your post was something to do with other kinds of addictions. Like alcolhol and drugs. I actually read an article recently about WLS patients turning to "other" addicitons because they no longer used food as thier addiction. Well, living in Monterey you are faced wtih a big "great food" problem. But seriously you have done awesome and you are to be congratulated and "hear-hear" on your philosphy. I idenitfied very strongly with all you said. Take care, Nancy S. 317 start/297 surgery/185 now/140ish still to goal.

Sydney: I too have returned to OA 12 Step Meetings. I've told folks there that I had the GBS and have had nothing but warmth and support given to me. In fact, ironically, even in steps 1 & 2 it speaks about "having major abdominal surgery" as one of the routes we've taken to control our compulsive overeating. Honestly? I did that. I kept saying "oh well, after surgery I WON'T be able to eat xyz..." I was shocked when at only 6 months out I was eating junk (not BINGEING but of course you know what I mean) that I thought I would not be able to eat, and therefore I wouldn't have this "problem" I've had my whole life...being a compulsive eater. Well... I have it. My earliest memories from even age 5 are turning to excess food. Why I thought at 35 it would be SO different just because my stomach would be smaller was foolhardy. I admitted on my Century Club post that the main reason I stay away from these boards is my deep shame that I couldn't end up "normal" after surgery and stay away from the compulsive eating (heck I couldn't go 6 months without abusing food!). I feel like a complete FREAK -- especially since having the surgery and quietly living my compulsive lifestyle alone. Well, I am going to OA and am meeting people who understand the desire to overeat/eat unhealthily even when they know it will harm themselves. That is my personal shame that I could do even GREATER damage to my body NOW with an altered anatomy. I don't know why I'm a food addict. I am just learning to accept it and take the steps needed to deal with it. I need the emotional/physical/spiritual support of the OA program... thanks for your post today which reinforces that. Best wishes~~ Shell

Shell, thank you so much for your reply. It is so encouraging. I too, thought I'd be past the obsession and compulsion with food after the surgery. I'm so much healthier now but must face the demons that kept me obese. Remember Shell this is a disease of isolation. Someone reminded me of that at my first meeting. I felt weak and like a total failure (even though I am now at a normal body weight) that I could not overcome the compulsive eating on my own. It's in our weakness that we gain the most strength and support. Thank you for the courage to post. I am reminded that we are not alone in this journey. Warmest regards, Sydney