support group
I went to our post op support group last night. We discussed the reaction that we are getting from people "friends" that we have. I am amazed at how negative our support has turned. I have found that the women at work were very supportive until I started to weight less than them. Even my sister who is a love can get a bit catty over the fact that I now weigh about 25+ less than her. Her and my sister in law make comments about my skinniness etc. I also am getting the "you should stop loosing" speeches. You will be anorexic etc. HELLO PEOPLE I still need to loose 6 lbs just to get to normal weight. Then I need to loose more so that I have a buffer zone of ±5 lbs. You know the water etc weight.
So for all of you out there with FRIENDS like these please realize that we all have them. For me they have become x-friends. I don't need that in my life. With my life starting to really look positive I don't need stupid uneducated un-supportive people around.
thanks for letting me vent. I needed that......
donna
Hi Donna,
I have noticed that "those" people always seem to find something to put people down about, if it isn't to fat it's too thin or the wrong haircolor or the wrong cloths and so on.
Being around that negativity and not being strong enough to know when ito let it go is part of what got us here in the first place.
We either have to learn a new way to deal with them or just let them go , for me I look at things as If it isn't a possative in my life then I no noger need it in my life and hard as it may seem I need to let it go and trust in the long run it was the best choice to make.
Hugs,
Shel
Hi everyone,
My grandson threw a bar bell at my laptop and had to send it off for repair again. So I cant get on as much. I dont like the desktop at all. If anyoner ever buys a new laptop make sure you get the accident insurance. This is my 4th time sending it in because of accidents. . My older sisters who have alway been skinnier than me all my life.. are twins. They hate the fact I am the same size as them and still losing. They always make smart comments like. I like my food to much. I like to eat. I could never live like you and not eat. It is like. I eat. I just make better choices now.
IOr hearing I didnt have to have my guts cut out to lose weight. Or you took the easy way out and it is unnatural. They are always making some kind of comment. Twins ~~~~~~~
Take Care
Barb
I haven't had any friends do this to me yet. I am hoping it is because my friends are too great for that, but I have a feeling it is because I haven't lost enough to be smaller then them yet. I have noticed that people who talk to me about people they know who have had the surgery often say stuff like "They look horrible" or "They look so old now" or "They have lost too much weight" or "I saw her eating a hamburger the other day, I thought you weren't supposed to eat that anymore" etc. I know it is either happening behind my back now, or it will start pretty soon. I am down to 293 now and I am smaller than I was in Highschool. I haven't been all that excited until this point because I felt like I couldn't see the difference, but since hitting my 150pound mark I am finally realizing how far I have come. I can't believe I ran around with the equivalent of a normal sized women on my back. Just one more of those women and I am free from obesity for ever. I am more motivated than ever. We shouldn't let those ignorant people mess with our success. Just realize they always depended on us being neutral friends that they didn't have to compete with as women. Now, they have to deal with us, Or atleast they think they have to. Just continue to love them and show them you are the better person. In the end, good will win out.
God Bless,
Susan Holland