body image

Is any one else having problems with body image? I really don't feel like I have lost any weight. Now mind you I am in the century club and have gone from a size 26+ to a 14. So I "know" that I have changed. I look at people who are bigger than I am and know that I am smaller---- but my head can't seem to grasp it. I almost feel like I am always looking to others to tell me. I am not a vain person and actually hate attention-I am constantly fidgeting with my cloths and really do feel fat..... I know that those with anorexia have body image problems -not that I am there- but I am actually thinking of making an appointment with the shrink to deal with this- any one else going through this? Sorry it sounds so serious-- It actually has been a fun week getting into fourteens and I have a date tonight with my 16 year old to go see Davinci Code..... Hope everyone has a great weekend. donna

Hey donna, absolutely!! I have the same problem. Someone, the other day, scooted over to make room for me on a bench seat, between two other people, I looked at that spot and thought no way!! So I kept standing!! Pretty soon I thought, hmmm, so I gingerly sat down -- and I fit!!! And didn't even touch the two other people!! It's weird. What is helpful for me is to look at before and after pictures. That really tells the story. Try that. But if you feel it's really serious you might want to look into a therapist, but try to get one (and they're out there) that is experienced with gastric bypass patients. You know we've been this old weight for so long - we have that picture of ourelves embedded in our heads, it's hard to erase that. And to be honest, sometimes I don't want to!! That sounds weird, but I liked the 'old donna' (me, not you), I knew her well, trusted her, knew what she would do, say. sometimes this 'new donna' surprises me!! She is a little more fiesty, a little more outgoing, dances more, speaks up more, wears clothes that aren't as concealing as she used to wear! I don't know, it's like a new person. Well, heck it is a new person, and I have got to learn to love that person too. Not just look at her like an alien, or an enemy!! That's a funny thing to say, but in the 'old day's' I sort of always mistrusted thinner people!! Well, I started off not liking them!! How insecure is that!! I know this is probably much more than you were asking, but crud, I was in a chatty mood!! Not I have to start cleaning house! Maybe that's why I was chatty. And donna, for me, you are looking hot!! And you need to learn how to enjoy that. love you! donna

morning- I still get that knot in the pit of the stomach every time I go to sit down somewhere. As far as out going it kind of shocks me- but hey that is the reason I went through all of this. I need to do some more after photos--- just have to work up some courage. My photo now shows up with my post and some times I just giggle when I look at it... Hope you had a nice weekend donna

Hi Donna, I'm feeling the same exact way. I look at myself in the mirror and feel like I don't look much differently, but people I see that haven't seen me in a while aren't recognizing me at all...go figure... I "finally" took a new picture and looked at it and felt disappointed that I didn't look much better than my before pix...I've lost 100 pounds... I think our minds take a lot longer to catch up to our changes. I read in Carnie Wilson's second book that she went to therapy to deal with the body image part of the WLS and how she couldn't "deal" with people telling her she looked like a "new" person when the same person was still there. Some therapy might help, I'm giving myself some more time to try and figure it all out. Hang in there... paula

Thanks Paula, As I said to donna I need to get some more after photos done- How was Carnies book and good? I think I am going to go in on the therapy thing. Just need to make the call. donna

My counselor in Florida say the lag is as much as two years between losing weight, and wrapping our minds around it. Just like anorexia, it is a form of body dysmorphia because reality & our body image don't match. So, yeah, sessons with a mental health counselor might be a good idea, but know that the situation is a common one for people who have had a big body change. It's not normal compared to normal people, but it's normal for the situation we find ourselves in. --BT

Hi BT 2 year OMG- I don't want to wait that long. I good with it as long as I know everyone else is kind of in the same boat. Though I am going to see the shrink for at least a quick visit. thanks d

Hi Donna, I am in the same boat as you! I still feel fat--and I have lost 79.4 lbs , (Yes --I still count the tenths of a pound--sad isn't it?) I took some recent pictures --but to me they still look FAT--not as FAT as when I started this journey--But not where I really feel slender and attractive. My friends all say how wonderful I look--but I always say to myself--Yes, I look wonderful --compared to the REALLY big fat tub of lard I use to be! I wish that I really could catch up to myself --By the way---I see a psychologist TWICE a week--we deal with all kinds of issues--not just sel image and body image--I highly recommend seeing someone --I don't know that I could deal with life without a little professional help. I feel that anything I can do to help me become a whole complete and a satisfied person --is what I need to do--and No, I had never seen a psychologist or any other kind of therapist before I considered the surgery--it has been a Godsend. It has gotten me through a lot of difficult issues. So don't hesitate--See a "shrink" --it can be good for you! Be Blessed, MarianS.C. 242.4/163/ goal 125-130???

Hi Marian, I count every single ounce that I can. Isn't it amazing to think how much weight that we have lost. I too have friends and family commenting on how great I look, but all I see is that roll right around the middle. Its funny when I first started this process I thought that I would be thrilled to be a size 14 now all I can think about is dropping to 12's. Oh well- I do believe that if I stopped here I could be just as happy. thanks donna

Donna, I also see someone on a weekly basis. And it really does help. The only advise I have for you is that it has taken years for your self esteem to be effected by your weight. You can not expect to have a higher self esteem over night. Someday when you feel better about yourself you will not need anyone else to tell you how wonderful you look. You will be able to look at yourself and think about how hard you worked to get where you are. And you should be PROUD. Christine