The Fat MONSTER...

I got this in my email from a support group on line and it really hit me hard... bc i have found that i do this ... i keep trying to run from the FAT MONSTER... Running from the Fat Monster after Gastric Bypass By Kaye Bailey Many patients of gastric bypass report feeling fearful of succeeding at weight loss after a lifetime of failed diet attempts. In most cases, the fear of success subsides as a patient reaches goal weight and becomes comfortable in their new body. About that time the Fat Monster shows up to scare the hell out of patients. I thought the fear of success was scary - that is until I met the Fat Monster. The Fat Monster came into my life one night shortly after I achieved my weight loss goal. The Fat Monster terrified me with illusion - in the darkness of night he convinced me that the weight loss was just a dream, that by morning the Little Fat Girl would be back. He convinced me that being thin was too good to be true. I was terrified. The Fat Monster scared the hell out of me and I believed his frightening stories. Even on days when my behavior was stellar - I followed the four rules - I was convinced he could catch me. Many restless nights I woke frequently to run my hands over my body confirming he hadn't caught me that night. I needed to know that I was still thin. Many patients are acquainted with the Fat Monster - after years of dieting failure it is common to believe this weight loss is too good to be true. To this day the Fat Monster keeps me honest. Aloud I can say that looking and feeling great is my motivation to follow the rules, to exercise and maintain my weight. But deep down inside I'm on a dead run trying to get away from the Fat Monster. I don't ever want to return to being morbidly obese, I hated that life. So when I get on the treadmill I am literally running from the Fat Monster. When I eat my protein and take my supplements I'm building my strength to battle the Fat Monster. I am at war with the Fat Monster and I will never surrender; I am winning! Other patients are battling their own Fat Monster. One woman believed the Fat Monster had occupied her bathroom scale - she began weighing compulsively around the clock. She had a before work weight, an after work weight, before work-out weight, after work-out weight and on and on. Any fluctuation from normal caused immediate panic and self-loathing. Her husband locked away the scale and she nearly lost her mind! So, they came to a compromise. He would keep the scale - and the Fat Monster - locked away except for the once a week weigh-in. The physical act of locking-up the Fat Monster worked for her. She no longer weighed herself compulsively and her weekly weigh-ins showed she could very successfully maintain a healthy weight without round-the-clock vigilance to the bathroom scale. Patients do best when they identify their own Fat Monster and learn what behaviors - good or bad - the monster is affecting in your life. Do not surrender control to the Fat Monster but use terror as a source of motivation in your healthy life. Manda

WOW!!! this is so me. "She had a before work weight, an after work weight, before work-out weight, after work-out weight and on and on. Any fluctuation from normal caused immediate panic and self-loathing." I do that. I keep trying not to but I have been freaking. I will get on the scale... go to the bathroom and get back on the scale to see if it was just waste weight. Then after exercise I do it, after I eat I don't because I just know it will have risen about 10 more pounds. My weight has been fluctuating the past month and 1/2 ... no defined always downward trend lately. I know I'm 9months post op but I still want to lose at least 40 more pounds... AT LEAST! I know I am doing well, but I still feel FAT and I'm wearing size 10 (some 8s, some 12s). When will I feel like I have finished? When will I feel the fat monster has lost my address? I'm not in the most cheerful of moods. Sorry guys. Laura rny 9/7/04 330/180/140