Poll time!

Hi everyone I just want to say that you guys are such a great group of people and I am really enjoying our sharing about this process Thanks for your responses to our polls so far. You guys have helped me out soooo much. OK now for today's poll topic... We are all having tremendous success with our weight loss so far. I'm sure people are really noticing your weight loss because I think I am the slowest loser on here and people I see are making comments to me pretty much every day. Here are my questions for you: 1) How are you dealing with the compliments? Does the attention bother you or is it ~all good~? 2) Have you thought about what life will be like when time passes, the compliments come much less often and you just resume life as an average weight person? (Will you miss the positive reinforcement or prefer people to not focus on your weight all the time?) 3) Are friends (or strangers) treating you differently now? 4) Have you experienced negativity or envy from friends or family still struggling with THEIR weight? my answers--------------------------------------------------------- 1) OF COURSE, I love looking better and getting compliments...BUT it is embarrassing in a way, also. I've stopped a few friends mid sentence when they were complimenting me. I'm not sure why it made me uncomfortable. I guess it makes me face how bad I looked to everyone BEFORE. Plus, as much as I LOVE talking about this, I don't want to become WLS TV... ALL WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY TALK, ALL THE TIME! So I answer the comments then change the subject with most people. (you september peeps aren't so lucky, I don't shut up with you!) 2) The flip side of not wanting to hear too many comments is the fear of losing that shot in the arm you get from hearing you look good! I'm sure I will just stay high on being a normal weight and healthier. 3) Are people treating me differently now... I think so, yes, but I'm not sure if it's in my head or not yet... I feel so much less embarrassment of myself in public that it may be more on my end than on others... But I think people are treating me better. Guys seem more respectful and friendly. 4) My heart aches for my friends that are morbidly obese and can't OR won't have surgery at this time. I tread delicately with them because it doesn't seem right to gush about how great I feel, but sometimes others point out my progress right in front of them and this is so hard. I want them all to do this, but I would die if anything happened to them due to my urging them to have surgery. So I share info but don't talk anyone into it. Also I think it's wierding out a couple people I know who have always been smaller than me, to see that I am getting smaller than them. This seems to effect thier perception of themselves in some way. I hope no one minds my epic-length poll posts and answers. I guess I have a lot of thoughts in my head about this journey and end up NEEDING to get them out! Please share yours too. Love, Sue

Morning Sue, On the contrary I enjoy your polls as I believe most of our September mates do. Please keep them coming! 1) Like you, I like the compliments, and I feel more reassured of what I have done. However, at the same time I was never not a confident person. I knew I was a big guy, but I wasn't sloppy or anything like that. In fact, I used to always compensate by making sure I dressed to impress. But, the compliments are nice, but at times as you say a distraction and is NOT something I want to dwell on. 2) Are people treating me differently now... I don't really think so. I'm a manager of a very large government agency, and I think my 500 employees treat me the same, only difference is I am much slimmer. I've never been embarassed with my size, my unhappy is a better way of putting it. By the way, most compliments come from the ladies. 3) I also have a large contingent of friends that are either obese or morbidly obese, many of whom are life-long friends. I also tread delicately on the subject, and have never asked or questioned them about WLS, However, I have been very supportive isf and when asked adviced about the subject. I also feel very bad when we go out to eat and I only eat a miniscule portionit of what they all eat. In fact, I can't believe that I too used to eat so much at one meal. Keep up the good work, and by the way....I found a page on Obesity.com that details your projected weight loss over the 15 month period, and you are right on schedule. Remember, some of us lose faster than others due to the chemistry of our bodies. Although this is an individual journey we are all on, we are indeed in the struggle together! Steel

I enjoy the polls so much and I am glad I have the time to answer this one!! 1. The attention does bother me some time and like you I try to deflect it when it gets too much. At the beginning I just wanted to post a sign on my forehead with the current weight loss lol. But I guess it shows how everyone does care and that has surprised me somewhat. 2. I am ready to be a "regular" person!! Of course we all like the compliments on good looking clothes and hair (providing I have any hair left!!) But I am ready for my body size to be old news. 3. Yes, strangers treat me differently now. My comments are much more listened to and I am waited on better, isn't that sad? My friends and family have not really changed. 4. My overweight friends do look more closely at me now and I get lots of questions. I answer as best I can but I don't encourge anyone to do this. It is such a life changing thing that I believe each person has to make their own decision. And of course with my stricture problem I am not a good poster child for the future of post-op eating lol. Have a great day everyone!! Sharon

I honestly do not get very many compliments on my weight loss except for the few from family that say I am doing good. Since I started at such a higher weight then most, the few people who I have seen since my surgery remember me at the weight I am now, and never realized how much bigger I was. But it doesn't bother me because I know how well I am doing when I look in the mirror or see my chicken skin hanging. Now on the funny side of things, since my surgery I am able to do more so I am taking over the cooking for my family. Granted I cannot eat what they eat but I love trying new recipes for them. Well, seems with me doing the cooking they are now gaining weight! My mom teases me saying for every step I take to lose, she is gaining because I make something for her to eat. So now I only make special occasion things. Doreen

I LOVE these polls!! I think they are soooo fun!! 1) How are you dealing with the compliments? Does the attention bother you or is it ~all good~? I LOVE the attention!! But then I always have loved attention!! lol 2) Have you thought about what life will be like when time passes, the compliments come much less often and you just resume life as an average weight person? (Will you miss the positive reinforcement or prefer people to not focus on your weight all the time?) I think that I will miss the "constant" compliments, but I will be sooooooo very happy to be a "normal" person!! 3) Are friends (or strangers) treating you differently now? I don't really think anyone is treating me differently now. I think I may be treating them differently. I am more outgoing than ever if that is possible!! 4) Have you experienced negativity or envy from friends or family still struggling with THEIR weight? Not so far... I too tread pretty lightly with obese friends. I sure don't want to make anyone feel bad just because I feel so good!!

1) How are you dealing with the compliments? Does the attention bother you or is it ~all good~? Getting use to it- but was very strange at first- if any of you are like me- I just don't see it and if it wasn't for my clothes and scale I probably wouldn't think it had worked. So now I smile real big and say THANKS---- 2) Have you thought about what life will be like when time passes, the compliments come much less often and you just resume life as an average weight person? Think that is what will happen to me when I move- since the people in Hawaii won't know I have lost over 80 pounds- will be fun to see how long it takes for them to notice a weight lose. 3) Are friends (or strangers) treating you differently now? Woman are complimenting me and men are being friendlier... Think men have been "programmed" to say nothing because they might be wrong-- Will see my family for the first time the middle of Feb- should be exciting.... 4) Have you experienced negativity or envy from friends or family still struggling with THEIR weight? Funny- I was afraid I would but that has not happened at all.... lots of questions though. Thanks for questions- makes us all stop and think---- Victoria

1) How are you dealing with the compliments? Does the attention bother you or is it ~all good~? I have always had a very hard time accepting compliments. So I always say thank you, and change the subject quick. 2) Have you thought about what life will be like when time passes, the compliments come much less often and you just resume life as an average weight person? (Will you miss the positive reinforcement or prefer people to not focus on your weight all the time?) As much as "inside and emotionally" I love to hear the compliments, I dont like the attention either and hope that the subject will change real quick. So I want the "life as usual treatment. 3) Are friends (or strangers) treating you differently now? Friends and family treat me the same. Strangers, I dont pay attention to and dont care what they think. I feel better about myself, and what shallow (strangers) think, doesnt matter to me anymore. 4) Have you experienced negativity or envy from friends or family still struggling with THEIR weight? No I havent. Ive always been the "heavy weight" in my group of friends. Now that Ive had a very successfull surgery and no complications, they are very happy and thrilled for me.

Yes I like these polls also. ) How are you dealing with the compliments? Does the attention bother you or is it ~all good~? I like the attention sometimes, like many of you when you are not use to being complimented it is kinda weird. So like you I say thank you and change the subject. 2) Have you thought about what life will be like when time passes, the compliments come much less often and you just resume life as an average weight person? (Will you miss the positive reinforcement or prefer people to not focus on your weight all the time?) Since I have never been used to that many compliements I don't think I will miss them. I can't wait to be thought of as normal size. 3) Are friends (or strangers) treating you differently now? No not friends or family. I notice strangers are nicer, I get waited on sooner when I go into stores. 4) Have you experienced negativity or envy from friends or family still struggling with THEIR weight? One of my freinds says she is gaining all the weight I am losing so I just try and keep supporting her with her weight loss. She is not very big but since she has gotten married she says she has gained 20lbs. Thanks again for the polls. Sonya

1) How are you dealing with the compliments? Does the attention bother you or is it ~all good~? A- I don't see a whole lot of people who were around when I was that big. But the compliments that I do get are great. Sometimes I feel funny, like when hubby calls me tiny. Only cause I know I'm not, although I'm begining to realize that compared to what I was I am tiny, lol. 2) Have you thought about what life will be like when time passes, the compliments come much less often and you just resume life as an average weight person? (Will you miss the positive reinforcement or prefer people to not focus on your weight all the time?) A- I think I will welcome the new life, where I'm just normal. Where I eat like a person should, and I feel like I can do anything. There are no limits except those I put upon myself. I'm so ready for that. 3) Are friends (or strangers) treating you differently now? A- I don't think I have been treated differently as of yet. 4) Have you experienced negativity or envy from friends or family still struggling with THEIR weight? A- I have a friend who considers it now and then, she is in her late 50's so she always talks herself out of it becuase of her age. I have neither encouraged or discouraged her to go ahead with it. I sometimes wish she would, but I don't feel it's right to push her into it. Not to mention, as someone else said, if anything would happen to her and I was the reason she did it I don't think I could live with that. Thanks for the poll, Sue. It helps keep me thinking. I need that like you wouldn't believe. God Bless! Jo