A question for the single ladies - and maybe men..

Well, now that the weight is coming off...as it would happen I'm getting noticed!! And the compliments are coming, however I'm also getting unwanted attention - and since it has been a while that I've gotten "noticed" - I was wondering how do I handle this? I don't want to be rude, but I don't want the unwanted attention either. How did you handle unwanted attention if you had it? (If you're happily married - you're lucky!!!)

Actually I am married but I am still getting some un-wanted attention. Sometimes I think guys see that a lady is married and that makes them think we're a challenge. Sometimes I am flattered but so far I haven't had any attention that would be classified as lewd or what not. I have a hard time with any positive attention from the opposite sex because I want to leap on them and say no one cared when I was over weight. Then I have to remind myself that half the people I come in contact with never even new me so they have no idea they are treating me differently then if they had met me 4 months earlier. Shannon

hi Ruth, Can you elaborate a little on what you mean by "unwanted attention", i just want to understand completely. Like you, i have been receiving a lot more attention also, most of it is fine except when it comes from the guys that wouldn't give me the time of day 93 lbs ago. I realize that everyone has their preferences when it comes to physical attraction, but, i'm talking about guys that wouldn't even talk to me before (like male coworkers) are now all of a sudden all up in my face trying to get a conversation, and then i get an attitude. I know that i shouldn't be like that, but it ****** me off a little simply because i am still the same person and it is just shocking to me that people are so hung up on physical appearance. I have always had an outgoing personality so it was never hard to meet new people, but now it's more fun because they didn't know me before and i don't have to keep thinking in my head "are they only talking to me because i'm not a big girl anymore". It's sad how we think sometimes, but i guess it comes with the territory. Good Luck and respond when you get a chance. ~Missy~

Well, I guess I'm trying to find new friends on chat rooms - and they see my pic and when they flagg me they start with the "Hi, baby" and I like what I see are the bylines I'm getting. And I'm put off by that. These people didn't know the fat me so I know they don't have any motive even though they are crass. But I understand everything u say above cause you're right we are the same person. As far as my co-workers they are all great (male and female) everyone has been very supportive and prayerful during my recovery. I was just curious of anyone's response. I guess being fat before I never got the attention of any guy and got looked over and I guess I have to now feel comfortable with the new me - and feel offended easily. time will tell. thanks for writing! ruth

A friend at church the other day said "Dang, you are going to be downright sexy". I really wanted to say, "look bud, I've been sexy for YEARS and you just never noticed". But, I did not say that! I just smiled!!!