UPDATE AND QOTD!

Hello everyone, O.k......Quick update on me. I now weigh 179...I'm 41 lbs away from my personal goal of 138. That will be 100 lbs gone! I am so excited about that but at the same time scared that I will never lose the 41 lbs I still have left to go. I know some of you probally think I'm crazy for feeling that way since I'm so close but I can't help it. QOTD: Will we ever be happy with ourselves? I know that we are definitly happy about the weight loss but will it ever be enough? I see people that have had this surgery 1-2 yrs ago and they look absolutely fantastic! But in the back of my mind I am thinking "I will never look that good or be that skinny" Are we just tooo hard on ourselves? Things that make you go HMMM..... Hugs to all my fellow sept buddies, Please respond Rebecca 238/179/138

Hey Rebecca First off I just want to tell you GOOD JOB!!! You are doing great! I wish you had pictures up because our stats are so close! I wish everyone here would post progress pics because I find them so inspiring and fun! I started at 228 lbs (228 on surgery day, at one point before that I was 237 lbs at least) I am currently about 175 lbs and not sure how low I want to go since I am only 5'1". Definitely need to be 130 or below. To answer your QOTD- I have been having this conversation in my head a lot lately. I am thrilled to be losing weight, but also, I am aware that I will probably not achieve the dream I had as a teenager of having a really great body. As I've been losing weight, my face is deflating a bit and looking somewhat droopier to me. I have this wierd new wrinkly skin under my chin that I never had before. Hubby says no one else would notice it, but I know better. I plan on having my tummy tucked. Three c-sections along with all the weight I've carried in my belly have done a number on that zone! But I can't picture myself having all kinds of plastics done beyond the tummy tuck. So I am trying to accept that I will not be perfect, but I can be pretty darn good, especially compared to how I was before. After all, I mainly did this for my health, and that is sooooooo improved already! (buh bye diabetes ) I've also worried about not losing all the weight or not keeping it off, but as I said before, I am just trying to stay positive and not stress all these things. Overall I am just too thrilled right now that I did it and I survived and I'm losing weight! That's pretty darn cool! Hugs back at ya Rebecca and everyone! Looking forward to reading your responses. ~Sue

Hey Rebecca, Congrats!! Your doing wonderfully. I am 178 as of Sunday and I feel great. I am scared that Ill just stop loosing now that Im 43 pounds away from my goal of 135. I try to tell myself every day that I will not fail! With love, Em 238/178/135

Way to go Rebecca!! Keep up the great work! QOTD~ Will we ever be happy with ourselves? I don't know, but I surely hope so. I too feel like I'll never get to my goal, but at the same time I know I have come very far only because of my clothing. When I look in the mirror I only see me. I don't really see that I look different than I did, I just see me, you know what I mean? I have always thoguht we are our own worst critic. All we can do is our best and try to be happy with ourselves. Update on me... I will be seeing my surgeon for my 4 month check up on Friday so I'll let you all know what's up then. And probably update my profile then too, I'm also hoping to get a before pic up with in the next couple of days. God Bless! Jo

Congrats your doing great. I always wonder if when I finally do get to my goal weight if I will be satisfied. I wonder what I will look like and if it will ever agree with what my brain makes my eyes see. I am down 127 pounds and sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror I still see the 363 pound me. I know I am shrinking and everyone tells me I am wasting away (in a good way) but honestly I don't see what I thought I would. I sometimes wonder if when I do get to 170 if I will be satisfied or if I will become obsessed with the numbers being even lower. I will be seeing a psychiatrist for the first time this month. I went for the tests previous to surgery but all I was asked was questions. It wasn't as if there was a complete evaluation done on me. Or at least I felt like it wasn't complete. I figure that once I start talking to my psychiatrists I may be able to uncover the root of my fears and heal myself on the inside so that I can ensure my outside benefits. Until then I continue to obsess over the scale, what I eat, how many times I go to the gym and wonder if I am eating to much or not enough.... Shannon

I'm happy with my progress on the scale but have a hard time accepting that my appearance is "different enough" for having lost over 100 pounds. People gush and go on and on about how good I look and call me skinny, slim, etc (I'm definitely not at 229) but I keep having the same conversation in my head that I don't look like I have lost that much. I look in the mirror and see parts of me that are smaller but the big picture is still big all over in my head. I have a co-worker that had the surgery 1 year ago and she is size 6/8 at 150 pounds 5'6" (same as me) and is fretting over her pounds. She has already had the tummy tuck and looks great but she hates that number and wants to weigh less. I think to myself that I don't want to be as small as she is on top (I haven't had a small chest since 1983) but would be very happy with the rest. She does not exercise at all and never has... and she doesn't eat properly. I see cookies every day and pasta at lunch, etc. Yet, she looks very good and at 15 months post-op looks every bit the success story. I'm wondering if I will feel like i have completed my goal when I hit a certain size or look good in a bathing suit or hit a magic number. I just don't know! What is funny is I look at pictures from this summer and cringe because I had no idea how bad I looked and at the time I thought I looked pretty good for a "heavy woman". I never used the word FAT or OBESE to describe myself so I wouldn't have that image in my head. Maybe that is good because now my body image is very close to how I look now and I will have more time to adjust to the "normal size" image when I get there. Right now when I start thinking I am looking more normal I realize... no, not yet because I'm still above 200 pounds and in size 18. I think I'll feel like I'm getting somewhere when I hit size 12. Laura 330/229/140