4 days to go and NOW hubby is mad!

I have been preparing for this WLS forever, and now the time is getting close... my hubby is upset, he says that when this is over I will leave him, that I will not be the same person he married. I have read all the info I can handle in the library of this site, but darn it - its almost all negative, I mean, I am committed, have been for 13 years and have 3 girls, I just dont see myself going anywhere - he is MO, and thinks I will change so much he wont be able to keep up with me... and like he said tonight, "yeah, you will be better at doing laundry too, huh?" ok, hes hurting my feelings here - how do I cope with this, I need to stay positive to recover quickly and he is making it sooooo hard! anyone have any suggestions on how I can convince him I am not going anywhere???

I can only imagine what our spouses are going through. We ARE going to change. You can only know in your heart what your feelings are going to be for your husband. He would love to have you healthy, but I think he is normal in being a little insecure with the tremendous changes coming for both of you. Maybe he needs reassurances from you and also a little forgiveness for being insecure. As time passes, so will this. Good luck and I will leave the light to the other side on for you.

Dear, Lisa First of all there is a lot of jealousy there.Second keep reassuring him of how much you love him.Get him involved with the changes you are going to be making in your life.You can not sit and lead a life of depression or this will not work for you!I had my surgery 8/11/03/weighed in at 371lbs. I have lost 173lbs. now and a lot has changed for me but it was all for the good of my family and I. The only big thing is that I can choose from the kind of clothes I really want to wear now.My attitude hasn't changed I mean it has a little for the better but I can also do things now that I ccouldn't do with my family tell him to look forward to things like that maybe he even have more fun you know where.And I am a single Mother but since my weight loss I haven't even been interested in looking for a guy, because my main priority is me and my weight loss.What is mean't to be is mean't to be and know matter what God puts you where he wants you and you love your husband enough to come here to get advice on what to do then you love him enough that he has no worries.My prayers are with you! Candi Fuller

I think all you can do is ressure him. Let him know that your doing this so you can feel better, so that your children will grow up with a mom and your husband will be able to grow old together. Some times mine would say things like that and I would tell him if I was going to leave him it would have happened already. Unfortunantly a lot of husbands/wifes are the ones who change after their spouses or SO's lose weight. I would ask him if he is planning on leaving you? Personally I depend on my husband for a lot. I don't like going out to stores etc alone because I feel very self conscience. When I lose the weight I will have more confidence in myself and be able to do more without him always having to come. Maybe he thinks that you will be so independant that you won't need him. He needs to be reminded that you love him for him and not for what he does or what ever. I wish you the best and I hope he sees the light and realizes your not going anywhere. Shannon

Hey, Lisa I have heard this from friends who have dieted, gotten makeovers, or just dyed their hair. It is just insecurity and fear of the unknown. Many men have a hard time dealing with change and the loss of attention, fearing you will be more focused on your goal than him . Perhaps if you emprise how much you will be relying on him and couldn't do this with out his support. Maybe you could get him to go to a few support meetings too, he might get a glimpse of how much this means to us and our families. Good luck !

Lisa V, hang in there! My husband pulled the same thing on me, and we've got 20 years under our belt! Men feel helpless with this kind of decision, because you are doing something for yourself...and for your kids. He doesn't realize that it's for him, too. All he knows is that you are going to be hot-looking and he's afraid you will stray. However, he will eventually come around and realize how much more you will be there for him and the kids...and he will be proud of you. YOU GO GIRL....you are going to be more AWESOME than you already are!

Thank you all so much for your kind words, it was a rough weekend, I am trying so hard to get everything done around here so I can relax and not worry about anything for awhile... He has called me from work, just to see if I was ok, I know that he is just worried, maybe after he sees that i am not going anywhere all will be ok... pray for us! I only have 2 days to go!!!