Food Realization

We have this lady in town that on Fridays comes in and sells Hot Tamales and they are FANTASTIC... Being the fat one I am usually her biggest order but yesterday when she came in I almost decided not to get any and she looked at me like she was puzzled. I started thinking that this would be the last time and if I dont get them now -I wont get to eat them again for a very LONG time. I got them but do you know that I usually eat them as soon as she brings them and yesterday they sat on my desk ALL day - I took them home with me and did not eat any until last night. Mind you - I can usually eat the whole DOZEN in one sitting. They are really this good... Last night I ate 4. I am amazed at myself. This morning we are about to go to Shoneys to enjoy my last trip to the breakfast bar. And we have made plans to go to Conestoga Steak House next week for my last steak for awhile. Its weird because of all the things I NEED to do before this surgery - the first things I do is make plans for what I am going to eat first. I think this should tell me AND it has-- that I have a eating disorder. I never really thought about it before. I never realized before how big eating is in my life. To sit down and think OH MY GOSH I gotta eat this and this and this before I have this surgery is weird. Is this normal? Do you all do this too? We had a silent auction at work several weeks ago and I won several things but not all... I won a Margarita Basket with chips and salsa and 2 margarita glasses with margarita mix. I told the lady who donated it that I needed it soon or I wouldnt be able to enjoy it before my surgery. My life has become obsessed with food and I am thankful to God that I soon will not be like this again. I hope this TOOL gives me MY life back and I dont live for food anymore. I used to wake up thinking "What am I going to have for lunch today?" Its putting things into perspective for me. I know I can still eat this stuff later after a while but I just hope and pray it doesnt consume me like it has my entire life. I am rambling --Good Morning to you all! I hope you are having a great day so far... I will check in later....

CHRISTINE, YOUR NOT ALONE ON YOUR THINKING.I TO FELT LIKE I BETTER EAT NOW BECAUSE I WONT BE ABLE TO LATER UNTILL I REALIZED THAT IT JUST WAS NOT TRUE !! YOU WILL BE ABLE TO EAT AGAIN...ONLY YOU WILL BE EATTING TO LIVE AND NOT LIVING TO EAT !!! WHICH IS SOOO GREAT BECAUSE WE WILL LOOSE THE WEIGHT AND BECOME HEALTHIER AND MORE CONFIDENT IN OUR SELF.SO HANG IN THERE AND BE PROUD OF THOSE SMALL VICTORY'S TOO...THEY GET YOU CLOSER TO THE LOOSING SIDE ALSO! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK ~MARY

Christine, no you're not alone. I think many of us have food "issues" and that is one of the factors that contributed to us needing the surgery (for me anyway). I too long for the day that my every other thought is NOT about food. I look forward to me ruling my life and not food. I have been trying to cut back especially these last couple of weeks. I have although, enjoyed some last meals, and suspect I will have a few more. Good luck on your journey to good health! Tracy J

Hey I know what you mean. I have had the 'last meal' syndrome since I decided to have my surgery. I think it is pretty normal but it is also proof of the 'additication' we have to food. With that said, be careful. I over did it and caused myself to cross over that 'boarder line' for diabeties. I just had my surgery and the doctor told my husband that he had to give me several insulin shots while in surgery! I fasted for seven days before my surgery and my sugar was so high that they have given me insluin shots for the three days I was in recovery! Best of luck! Marjorie