New here and feeling nervous

Greetings everyone! I am so glad to be able to read all that is here. I live and work alone (not counting my cats) and thus have some difficult moments with support, etc. I am two weeks away from my surgery date, 9/13, and am feeling nervous about it. I am at that point where I need to stock things for after the surgery and just seem stuck. I look back and it just seems surreal. My doctor had been recommending this for about two years, but I just sort of poo-pooed him on it. Then I woke up on Dec 26 with a severly swollen and painful knee. That began a six month oddessy that finally culminated with a second and a third doctor recommending that I have RNY surgery to get as much excess weight off as possible due to a degenerative condition with my cartilage (way to young for knee replacement). I know many want to "see" and "feel" thinner and work for that sensation... for me... it is the day that I can once again walk stairs without pain or the horrible sensation that my knees are about to give out and I am going to fall head first down those stairs. I have always "viewed" myself as big, large, fat, huge, whathaveyou, so the idea of my being "thin" is not something I can visualize. Anyway, just wanted to say hello and write out some thoughts that had been bouncing around my head and see if anyone has some suggestions on how to get that first step going. Thanks!!

Hi Lowery Welcome and congrats on your date. I think that everything you are feeling is completely normal. I'm 1 week away and am just now getting to where I can put things into perpesctive and my surgery date actually feels real to me now. I have 1 more dr appt on thursday then, I'm under the knife. If you need to vent, we understand. Good luck to you, I'll keep you in my prayers. jenelle

Ditto what jenelle said. You are feeling normal. I was so excited until I got my approval and then it was instant and I mean instant panic. Now I have settled down and getting things organized and together. I have started the nesting routine, cleaning everything in site including but not limited to my dog! The cats run when I look at them funny! I also live alone with my babies (furry ones) and my mom will be up for 1 week post op then its alone again with my SO checking in on me from time to time. Feel free to vent email, what ever ... we are here to support each other. good luck and congrats! Wanda

Hi Lowery! Welcome and Congrats on your date. I understand how you are feeling. Although my knee condition is not as severe as yours, I can relate to how your want and need to not feel pain walking, getting up after sitting and shaking off the stiffness praying that your knee doesn't give out, stairs forget it, I cry when I walk or do stairs. I hate feeling this pain. I am too young to feel like this. And I know that once I have surgery (which is tomorrow by the way...I can't wait) and lose weight, my knees will probably feel 98% better. I am nervous, scared, excited, happy, anxious and elated all rolled into one, these feelings are common. WE are all doing this because we want to be healthy and not to be in physical pain. I can't wait because I know, life will improve ten fold. ((((HUGS)))) and congratulations! Erin

Congrats and I wish you the best of luck with everything. Shannon

Hi Lowery, Love that name!! I too am scheduled for the 13th but in Virginia. My MIL (bless her soul) is taking me to get my pre-op things on Saturday. She is also taking me and my girls out to dinner to one of my favorite restaraunts that was on my "Last Meals" list - ZIA's (local italian rest.). She has been totally supportive of me. Almost the most supportive. My hubby is at the top of the list. I am struggling with what I will need to stock up on as well. I figured that since I will be in the hospital and the most I will see are other people in the same boat as me, that I won't need too much. As far as home, hubby will do that. I will be 2 hours away for 4 days and I won't be able to help out much anyway. Poor him, he will have the sole responsibility of getting himself and the two girls ready for work and school, then come home to fix dinner, do homework, and help with the bath duties that the girls don't do for themselves. Of course, my MIL and my mom will be more than happy to help. WOW!! Maybe that is a concept - let the women leave for 3-4 days (without surgery) and make the men do it by themselves. Maybe they will finally understand why we are so tired all the time. Good luck and feel free to bounce any questions or thoughts here! Amy