YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN WLS (WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY) PATIENT WHEN:
(I had saved this from another forum on here, thought it was cute incase some of you hadn't seen it). 
YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN WLS (WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY) PATIENT WHEN:
The words I have a date" dont mean your going out.
You have baby food in the house and no baby.
"I'm a loser" is a good thing.
A wooden spoon isn't just for cooking.
"Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
New clothes fall off in a week.
You get excited about hand me downs.
The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please".
"Jus****er for me please".
Hitting the "Century Mark" is actually a good thing.
You can be touched by an angel and still not be considered crazy.
When you get excited that your incision was "only 6 inches".
When you really don't have a thing to wear.
You have to prove you are the person on the drivers license.
You start being in the pictures not behind the camera.
You are never parted from a bottle of water
When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.
When you go pick up your child at school and all the other kids say WOW you're mom is hot.
When you go to the mall and take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
You truly are a "cheap date".
When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.
You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar.
Vitamins feel like a meal.
You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't have a breast reduction.
You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair?"
You can cross your legs... both of them
Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra
When your obsession for food turns to obsession of your scale
They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile.
When your stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables
People say "You don't eat enough"
The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god..did he die???
YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN WLS (WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY) PATIENT WHEN:
The words I have a date" dont mean your going out.
You have baby food in the house and no baby.
"I'm a loser" is a good thing.
A wooden spoon isn't just for cooking.
"Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
New clothes fall off in a week.
You get excited about hand me downs.
The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please".
"Jus****er for me please".
Hitting the "Century Mark" is actually a good thing.
You can be touched by an angel and still not be considered crazy.
When you get excited that your incision was "only 6 inches".
When you really don't have a thing to wear.
You have to prove you are the person on the drivers license.
You start being in the pictures not behind the camera.
You are never parted from a bottle of water
When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.
When you go pick up your child at school and all the other kids say WOW you're mom is hot.
When you go to the mall and take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
You truly are a "cheap date".
When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.
You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar.
Vitamins feel like a meal.
You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't have a breast reduction.
You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair?"
You can cross your legs... both of them
Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra
When your obsession for food turns to obsession of your scale
They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile.
When your stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables
People say "You don't eat enough"
The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god..did he die??? 
I am a little embarrassed (and pre-op) and don't know what the wooden spoon means? Can someone clue me into the joke?
This is the first post I have ever done. I just for a date 9/21/04 and have been trying to read up.
This was really funny and I'm going to print it out to share with my friend and family before I go into the operating room.
Congrats on your new birthday! 
Cindy Most Active
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