Jesse, Yep you bet it feels wonderful to be able to play softball again. I about cried, I just knew it was never going to happen. Think you so much for your positive comments That is what keeps me going. By the way you are doing wonderful!!!! Keep up the good work. Hugs Debbie Moya Dr. Baker 9/22/03 354/154/147

Mary: Congratulations on making the Century Club!!! Just hang in there and keepup the good work and you will achieve your goal. Jesse

Hey Mary Congrats on reaching the Century Club. That is fantastic. Wow, what a story, I love the way you say that you ate like a pig and we all know what you really mean. There are days when I feel like I ate the kitchen sink and then when I journal my food for the day, there is still room for a little snack. Who would have thought, that a year ago would have past this fast and here we are over 100lbs lighter. Not me that is for sure. Good luck on reaching your personal goal and if it doesn't happen by the anniversary, it will soon after, keep on striving. Let us know how you do. Luis

Joyetta, Thank you! I think we are all in the same boat...some of us are just in a slower current than the other guys. I am SO envious that you got to go to Florida! I will get there eventually...danged hurricanes! You have done so well...you should be very proud of YOU. *HUGS* Mary Beth

It was weird...I knew the scale had not moved much at all, just fluctuating back and forth with the same 3 lbs...the century mark always just out of reach. But I didn't understand it...specially about clothing...I had taken three sizes of the same capri into the fitting room while shopping for a couple of things to take on vacation...because I wasn't sure...didn't trust that the last pair of jeans I had bought were a 14...they were stretch...so in my mind it didnt count...so I looked at that size 14 with tongue in cheek. I had an 18, a 16 and a 14 fitted capri in there with me. 18 was waaaay to baggy...it wasn't even an option...the 16 fit...but was loose...so I said...what the hell...got brave, held my breath and tried on the 14's...non stretchy...and up up up they went...and fastened...comfortably. Ok that had to be a fluke...these are just cut big...I had to know for sure...I went out and drug in about 6 different capris/pants in size 14. They fit! Actually...a couple of of the capris I thought...if I didnt have this panni...a 12 would have probably fit. Wonderful news for me...not so wonderful for my pocketbook! But I was still thinking about the scale...it had not really moved at all...so why were these fitting now? It had been a discouraging long haul these past 60 days...the old doubts had crept in as the pounds fluctuated back and forth. Failure. But I was also telling myself...if you don't lose another pound...it is so much better than where you were. I feel so good...I can do so much that I couldn't before...and I finally feel like I fit in. I took my grand daughter to Surf and Swim by myself while her momma had some "selftime"...it was so nice to be able to concentrate on her, on the "being", instead of having the usual negative feelings. My shame and embarassment did not color the experience the way it would have before. Several mothers that were in the baby pool area spoke to me about my Layla...they were surprized, they thought I was momma...not grandma! THAT felt great. But it also brought about a sad thought...I regret not doing this sooner...I feel my children were cheated of the happy positive mom that they deserved. Vacation was good...I didn't make it to Florida because of the weather...my son said if they evacuated the base he would have to go where his jet went and that would probably be up in Georgia so it might be better to wait and he would fly me up in the near future to spend the weekend. But I did spend a good portion of the week in Alabama with my mom and her family (we were just in time for Mom to say goodbye to her lifelong friend, Helen, who is terminal with lung cancer...before we left she had slipped into a coma...I like to think she was waiting to say goodbye to mom). It was wonderful to feel good and have energy...and everyone was so proud of how I looked. I was finally not the fattest person in the room at the family get together! And the one snooty snobby cousin who had always been so slim and acted soooo superior to me and my other chubby cousin...well...guess what...she was...for the first time in my life...BIGGER than me...yaaaaaaaaaay! (God will get me for this gloating). I loved getting up in the morning and getting out for a walk in the beautiful countryside. And I wasn't puffing on those hills! For the first time in my life at one of these family get togethers my mood was not colored by the emotion of self consiousness and shame...I was happy and smiling the whole time. And amusingly...I ate like a PIG the whole time...my Alabama relatives can COOK...and I had to sample everything. Well I say a pig...it was no where near what I could have eaten before...but I had put aside the white carb prohibition temporarily for the trip...and when I say white carb I am not including sweets...I just did not worry about pasta, potatoes or rice. For snacks...on the road I had trail mix...mostly nuts or beef jerky and LOTS of water...and off the road I would get out some cheese or peanut butter...but I figured...oh goodness...I probably have put on 10 lbs. I didn't weigh until I got back. Nope...no gain...just the same fluctuating 3 lbs. Well this morning I decided to check...just for the sake of checking...and wow...hold the breath...get all the air out of the lungs that you can...might make you lighter (does air have weight?)...the digital numbers bounced around and settled on...182. I had to get on and off three times to make sure I wasn't seeing things. YAYESSSSS!!! Not 100, but 101 pounds GONE! I had to sit down and let it soak in...reflect. The pounds have not melted off me like most WLS patients...it has been slow and excrutiating work. Every pound fought for...and I guess that's what has made every pound so precious. At times I would be back doubting myself...beating myself up. Yes...they will fluctuate more...tomorrow I will probably be back up 2 lbs..and it will bounce back and forth...possibly for another two months...but hey...I will take the loss..no matter how small or slow. Baby steps forward... If I don't lose another single pound...as long as I do not start to go up...I can live with that. But already...in the back of my mind...wow...the 170's are just 3 pounds away...... Mary Beth 283/182/150