I made it to 101 down!

I finally made it two weeks ago. I havent been able to post yet but I have lost 101 lbs! I had my surgery 9-22-03. I have 27 more til I reach my doctors goal of 130. I am 5'2 and from what my doc says I have a big frame. I am scared though. I am scared I wont lose that last 27 lbs. I have lost so slowly from what I can tell, or so I think. I really estatic about my loss but now I am battling this loose skin issue. My doc says when I come back for my one year checkup in sept we will refer me to see a plastic surgeon. I think if it wasnt for the loose skin I would be totally happy. My question is, how do you deal with this? How do you deal with the embarrasment of the skin? I mean I hide mine well but it gets annoying having to buy larger clothes because of it. I sometimes wonder if it will ever go away. Will I ever get over it? And then there is that looking in the mirror and seeing the fat lady looking back at you. I dont think at all in this journey have I been able to look and see what others are seeing. I think sometimes I have really done this for nothing. Ok thanks for letting me vent, Hope you all have some really good advice. Love you all! Hugs and love, Carol

Carol, CONGRATULATIONS on the GREAT SUCCESS! I know what you mean about the skin. I have been lifting weights all along and trying to tone as I have lost...but truthfully, I don't know that it made much difference. My arms are GROSS and so are my thighs. I WON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT MY STOMACHE!!! GROSS!!! I know that other people have said it...but it is true...I look good when I am dressed. NAKED....that is a different story. Thank GOD my husband has bad eyesight. LOL (Not really, he is just ultra supportive) I guess if we can't afford plastic surgery or if our insurance does not cover it, we have to learn to love the skin we are in. I don't quite know how to go about it...but I will learn. I guess the skin issue is part health related but also part mental health. Good Luck and Congratulations again! Carolyn

Carolyn, Ive lifted weights since surgery but years of yo yo dieting and gaining and losing and gaining and losing has played havoc on my skin. I have the worse loose skin I have seen so far on anyone that started out as a light weight as I did. I have the skin of a 500 lbs person. Two children, tons of losing and gaining, well lets say that my torso looks like someone poked a pin in me and just let all the air out. Its horrid. Yes I know it is part mental and part physical. I dont know which is worse, the mental or the physical. All I can do is pray that the ins. pays for the reconstructive. If it doesnt, I dont know what I will do. I have rashes that alone are horrid, not to mention constant back pain and shoulder pain from the loose skin on my breast. I have went from a 48 ddd/f to a 34d. Its awful. I can pack it all in a full body breif and look wonderful but god forbid if I get nekkid. I do thank my hubby for being so wonderful and being opitmistic. He tells me that it will all be fixed with the plastics and to not worry but its hard ya know. Thanks for your reply I appreciate it! Hugs and keep that chin up. WE all go thru this together and it always helps to know when someone else understands! Carol

Hi Carol, I just read your post and boy can I relate to much of what you are saying. First though, let's address the 101 "slow" weight loss. When was the last time you lost 101 pounds in 9 months? If you're like me the answer is never! when have you consistently lost over 10 pounds a month on any weight loss regiment? I remember my Weigh****chers days when a good month was 4-5 pounds and those 1/4lb weeks were torture. You have accomplished a great deal and need to embrace that and be happy about it. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, it will only make you crazy. As far as getting over seeing the fat lady - I am right there with you. When people say things to me about being thin, I honestly don't believe them (I think they think I'm fishing for compliments - NOT!!!). If you get a chance look at my profile (the pics were just posted this weekend - the after was taken Saturday), I still see that person on the left. Seeing these pictures has finally opened my eyes somewhat. As far as the excess skin - I know it makes me crazy. Before I wouldn't wear shorts because I was fat, now I won't wear them because I have this horrible skin hanging on my thighs!!! I guess the hanging skin is the lesser of two evils as I feel so much better... Keep up the good work and don't stress so much. Hugs, Patti

Patti, I just want to say that you look WONDERFUL in your pics! I totally agree and understand where Carol is coming from, I still look in the mirror and do not see that change in me. Everyone else keeps telling me that they see it...I just do not. 101 lbs isn't slow in my opinion. It is perfect! Carolyn

Patricia, You know if not for the pictures and the seeing it there that I have lost this much, I would not be able to see it at all. I think we will always have a fat mind or at least until there is no fat there to see. I think part of it with me is that I see the loose skin and I see that as fat. I used to not wear shorts either but I have started and I really dont feel badly, Ive got the loose skin on my thighs and its bad but I can live with that much better than I can this tummy and boobs and even my batwings. Honey I could fly south for the winter with these arms! I do think the skin is the lesser of two evils but we did not come this far to be unhappy now did we? I am proud of my loss and no I could not have done this much before on any other diet, I am so thankful for that but I have also worked to hard to not love myself. Ive went from not liking me because im fat to not liking me because when im unclothed im ugly. I see myself as that way now. All my life Ive wanted to be beautiful. Its hard to see yourself as that when you see skin that is so gross and horrid. It kind of puts a damper on the excitement of having lost over 100 lbs. Double that with knowing that you are so very very close to goal but still not able to feel normal? its tough on your mind and your heart. I try to be optimistic but it gets harder when so many tell you that youve done wonderful and your pretty and you get all these compliments and then you know that they would never say that if they just knew what you were hiding under your clothes. I feel embarrassed around my own husband, I feel like im letting him down in a way. He loves me loose skin and all and it doesnt bother him a bit but ive lost the weight for ME now I want to be attractive and beautiful for HIM. I love my inside, I love me as a person, im a much better person than I used to be, but I want to love the outside as well. Its a long road to hoe honey. I just pray that in time we all begin to love ourselves a little more and accept ourselves for who and what we are. Thanks for listening hon. Hugs, Carol

Carol: First, Congratulations on your weight loss. It is indeed an accomplishment you should be proud of. As for the hanging skin, I know that it may trouble you but just hang in there (I know, bad choice of words****il you're able to have plastic surgery. Sorry I couldn't be much help on the issue but I encourage you to maintain a positive attitude. Jesse

Jesse, thank you so much for your encouragement, its just what I needed and knowing that out there somewhere someone understands and knows how I feel. I am proud of my accomplishment, I just wish that I could be happier. I think part of my problem is I am very short and on us short folks, the skin is worse just as the fat was worse. Any tips on getting taller ? lol Hugs and thank you hon! Carol

Carol, don't be so hard on yourself. They say it will take up to 2 years for our bodies and our minds to fall into place with our weightloss. It has happened pretty quick. I mean we women develop a beautiful child inside us in 9 months, You have just the size of a teenager!! LOL I understand you on the excess skin issue, I also am fighting it, and found out yesterday my Ins deied my TT when I have my hernia repaired. I sag from my arms to my knees. But only my family see that part. The best thing was a family reunion on father's day, people telling me they don't remember me this size since the 70's and they are right. I now weigh 175, I weighed 172 in the 7th grade! I will learn to live with the skin it is better than before WLS. Chin up, and embrace that new beautiful person in the mirror. I have studied my own pictures monthly just to help me understand how I look now. Makes a difference to see me standing there with my 19 yr old daughter or with my husband, we all wear the same size, some of mine are even smaller now. You will grow on you,LOL best wishes, Patricia 314/175 (15 past goal)

Patricia, I too study the pics, I look for each little detail of how Ive changed and I hate to say it but I looked better unclothed when I was 258 lbs! At least then the skin was filled out and didnt look like it was falling to my knees! Its hard to embrace that beautiful person when you constantly find flaws. I try not to but I do. My hubby god bless him has lost weight too and he looks fabulous, but at 6'6 he doesnt have the loose skin issue! Me at 5'1, well lets say that I look like the michelin mans been deflated! I hope I grow on me, I look in the mirror and dont know me anymore! Hugs girl and congrats on your loss! Love, Carol