Do you ever forget your not as big as you used to be?

I had my surgery on September 8,2003. I had to lose weight before surgery, but my highest weight was 255. I am only 5'' tall. I have been very excited by the weight loss I don't know how many inches I've lost but I am now ~146lbs. I have gone from a size 22 to a size 6. Am I crazy or does anyone else still feel fat sometimes or forget that we don't have the same body or even the same face! It has been disconcerting to talk with someone for over five minutes before they realize who I am when my hubby walks in the room. People say I look so tiny, I went to an appointment in riverside at the Convention Center and was surprised that people didn't think I was in the right place... I don't want to seem as if I am not enjoying the change. It is just at times I still see the fat me not the new one.The words 'skinny', 'thin', or 'petite' were never a physical desription thatfit me. I spent almost my entire life either "thick" or obese. Should I go to counseling or is anyone else feeling the same thing?

Tanisha, Congratulations on your success so far. YES!!! Even tho I am no where near goal weight as of yet, I understand what you are saying. I still see myself as a size 30/32 even tho I am now in a 14/16. I am still always amazed when I sit down in a movie theater or get in a car and a seat belt fits, or I can sit on a love seat and have someone sit next to me with out infringing on their space. When I do go shopping for clothes, I still find myself looking at the 30/32 or 26/28's...I guess we have to learn to be comfortable in the skin that we are in...But I would have to say that what you are feeling is normal. At least to me it is. Best wishes for your continued success!!! Carolyn Sue

since 9/17/03 I have went from a tight 32 to a 20/22 and I still argue with everyone that those sizes wont fit me...they look too damn small. As a matter of fact I orderd a bunch of clothes from ebay that were supposedly a 1x or 22/24 and when they came I was so disappointed because they were so small they would fit my 15 yr old who wears juniors 5....well anyway after her telling me I was nuts for thinking they were her size she bet me to try them on...I said " if i can get one leg in them Ill do your chores for a week " well I am sitting here in those pants and doing dishes for a week. Its so funny how our self perception hasnt changed...I look at pics which I take every 2 weeks and sometimes I cant see a cahnge and the other times I hardly recognize myself. Whats really starting to freak me out is I set myself goal at a size not a weight and I am almost in those 18's and still have about 60 pounds left to loss to reach my 180 pound mark....now I have no idea what to set for a goal...it was hard enough imagining a size 18 let alone anything else... maybe we are all just a bunch of mixed nuts

Last night, before crawling into bed, I tried on a couple of pairs of shorts and pants that my dad had bought for me ages ago. They were 14's and 16's in misses sizes. I was trying to explain the difference to my husband between Misses sizes and WOMANS sizes. He JUST doesn't get it!!! Anyway to shut the hubby up, I tried them on...GUESS WHAT!!!! THey fit!!! The 16's were great...the 14's I got up and zipped but they would blow someones head off if I accidently passed gas (LOL)! BUT THEY FIT! There was no way in HELL that I would have ever believed that I would one day be able to get these thunder thighs and ass into a misses size. Will wonders never cease? I agree...maybe we are all just a mixed bunch of nuts...at least nuts are protien. Carolyn

Ooo, great post and lots of great stories from everyone. OMG, I still see myself as very big. I'm still not a petite person, since I'm pretty tall, but someone actually referred to me as "tiny" the other day! When I do the laundry I get my clothes mixed up wtih my little boy's! I pull out underwear and pants and can't believe they are mine. It amazes me. Before I think I was in denial about my size too, LOL. I was always bumping into things and thinking I was smaller. It's been an interesting experience adjusting to my smaller size. This whole thing has been a HUGE mental journey for me - in many ways (size issues, food issues, other emotional issues) and I'm thinking about counseling too. There is almost more of a change with my head and mental health than my body. Hugs!

Thanx you guys for the encouragement, I was starting to feel a little nuts! I have read this site off an on for months but never added a post. ( there is soo much useful info to read) It is so wonderful to hear about others' sucsess and know that we are facing many of the same concerns. Like the times when I have laid in bed worried that I would regain all my weight back. I agree with Elizabeth the mental journey is longer than the physical. The weight comes off faster than our minds can adjust.... Sometimes I still think I wont fit through those stupid tiny turnsalls at the amusement parks. Like the time my hubby and I took our oldest son his brother and their friends to Disney for his 11th birthday. I was embarrassed for my kids. I thought their friends might tease them about their fat mother... I remember when I was preparing for surgery and my PCP had prescribed Xenical to help lose weight. I was leaving the pharmacy and 3 young kids were following behind me waddling. When I turned and saw them I was horrified and in tears. I can not even explain the degree of embarassment I felt. I only told my husband because he saw how upset I was. I thank God for him and his understanding, for helping me through those types of moments. It is hard to describe that pain to friends who havent been there. Especially when they say, well now you can so get over it. Anyway, I am working on renewing my mind as well as my body!! It's a process, right?Thanx again extra hugs!!! T.

I understand fully what you are saying. While I am no where near goal either...I still find myself thinking the way I thought before the WLS. I have to MAKE myself go to the Misses section instead of heading automatically to the Women's department. I bought a pair of Misses 18 baggy capris...and when I got home my daughter said I should have gotten the 16. I have everything from a 14 to an 18 in pants in my closet..and I think alot of it is psychological. I have always been smaller on top...so wearing a Misses L to M is not surprizing to me. It's my butt and thighs that I have always had issues with. I decided to try on this pair of 13/14 slacks this morning...and guess what...they fit...correctly. Part of my mind tho is saying....but they are STRETCH, you dont REALLY wear a 13/14. Well...they arent stretched when I am standing...they are snugger when I sit...but I felt confident enough to wear them today. And what's more...NO WHERE ON MY THIGHS DO THEY RUB!!!!!! Goodbye swiiiissssh swiiiissshh lady!!! I am having heavy friends calling me skinny and no butt...but then part of my mind goes...as compared to what...are you comparing me to your butt...how am I skinny and how can I have no butt weighing 191 lbs? It's not possible. I am amazed to find myself with my legs crossed...and I catch myself sitting crosslegged effortlessly. I think it just takes our heads some time to catch up with our bodies. It's amazing. Mary Beth 283/191/150

LoL Mary Beth, It is goodbye swiiisssh, swiiisssh lady huh? I love to cross my legs... now that I can!! Tanisha

I am addicted to crossing my legs! makes me feel 'cool', crazy heh? how about the surprise you feel when you: see yourself in the mirror; stand in front of a mirror and can see the light shining thru between the top of your legs; walk past clothes in the store that look tremendous and upon looking at the size tag being surprised they are a size 16 and you used to wear 24/26; buying a size 12 YIKES!! because it is a great price and you will fit in it soon and when you try it on to see how tight it is, it actually almost fits; sitting in a chair and realizing there is room on both sides of your now non existent butt; catch yourself moving fast/walking fast..wow I could almost forget my hidden under clothes flab when these things happen. carol RNY LAP 9/3/04 288/187