6mo. out and plain ole disgusted!

Ok I'm here to officially whine. I was six months out on Monday. I had my heart set on losing 100 lbs by then. Didnt happen and I've lost only 9 lbs since Feb. 7th. This is so discouraging. My loss has been sporadic at best since surgery. Dont get me wrong guys, I am so proud of myself and so much happier and I am so thankful for the weight I've lost (from 258 to 169). I guess we all feel like we are slow losers at times and i go weeks and not lose a pound and then you hear how folks are losing 2-3 lbs a week. Kinda gets to you. I am doing all my protien, drinking my water, watching my carbs and what I eat. I dont over eat. I am still only eating 3 ounces per meal. I dont do sugar, flour, bread, pasta, rice, potatoes and such. I eat meat, cheese, eggs and salad. But the last couple days I have been so down in the dumps that I am sitting here right now munching on spaghetti!!!!!! Seems the last couple days I have done nothing but eat things that I shouldnt. and on top of not losing, I am hurting when I eat something. Mid ways on right side of my back gets the most horrible pain and then moves to my tummy. I know I should call my doc but Im so discouraged I dont even want to see him. I havent had any episodes with depression and Im not depressed now. Just plain ole disgusted. I think alot of it is this blame loose hanging skin that is so ugly and makes me feel ugly. Im 5' tall, 169 lbs and still wearing a size 14/16 and I keep seeing where others are down to size 10's at this weight. I know better than to compare myself. I know this. I know I shouldnt but I cant help it. Ok I'm not going to whine any more. Just please ya'll tell me this is normal. I feel like I am so behind everyone else. I dont have those drastic losses like most folks, I cant brag and say Ive lost 3 lbs a week. Heck my scales wont move! Ok thanks for listening guys and dolls. I so appreciate it and love you all for taking the time to listen. I wish you all the best and wonderful success. Hugs to you all! Carol Lap rny 9-22-03 258/169/110 hopefully!

Hello Carol, My name is Kathy. I had RNY on 09-30-03. I'm in the same boat as you. Don't worry about it though. You are right, everyone is different. I weighed 298 the day of surgery now I weigh 209. I have been fluctuating the last week or so..from 205-209..it sucks. I also have the hanging tummy and thighs. I'm going to Hawaii in October and would like it to be firm...yeah right!!! It sucks!!! I'm not sure it will bounce back but am hopeful. Hang in there! All the people in my support group have gone through what we're going through. It is normal. Don't keep eating the pasta though. It will only hurt you in the long run. I haven't had pasta or rice at ALL. I make sure to stay away from it. Don't want the pain. You have to get yourself back on track. Don't think about what you did in the past to mess up just go from this day forward... Everything will be ok... Kathy 09-30-03 298/209/150 hopefully

Carol, I had surgery two weeks before you, on Sept. 9. Our starting weights were nearly identical; I was actually one pound below you at 257. Yesterday morning, I was 165 (this morning I was 166 - go figure). Like you, I've been disappointed by what seems like very slow loss at times. In the past few months, I've definitely gone through numerous plateaus. My body has settled into something of a routine where my weight is stable for about three weeks, followed by a week or so of fairly rapid weight loss (4-8 pounds). In my sixth full month since surgery - from Feb. 9 to March 9 - I think I lost just seven pounds. It can be disenheartening. But, remember, we really have come a very, very long way. And we're very close to where we want to be. I'm not sure how tall you are -- if you're shorter than 5'3", your goal weight will probably be lower than mine (150 was my initial goal; now I'm shooting for lower). But, you are so close. And a weight loss of 89 pounds is not shabby at all. When was the last time you lost 89 pounds this rapidly and knew you could keep it off, that you would keep it off -- for life? When was the last time you ate this healthfully and didn't feel deprived or guilty when you splurged? It's worth noting, too, that your body is undergoing some pretty major internal renovations. Plateaus at this point are natural. I believe according to a recent article in the ObesityHelp magazine, you're only in a plateau if you've been at the same weight for at least three weeks. And, at six months out, they're going to come more and more frequently. Think about it. You're very close to your goal weight. Of course the weight isn't going to fly off like it did in the beginning. These pounds are much harder to lose (even if your calorie intake and expenditure were exactly the same as it were say, five months ago). Your body naturally wants to hold onto the excess weight. I, too, have been going through the doldrums and making poor choices in recent days. It's odd; I've been eating far more in recent days than I ever should post-op. It's definitely a response to head hunger. I'm eating because I feel kind of down in the dumps, I'm eating because I'm bored, I'm eating for every old reason I ate before. I know I need to check this behavior, and I'm going to have to do so soon, if I haven't already gotten back on track today (I'm hopeful). Anyway, Carol, I know it can be hard to take a step back and objectively view what we've all accomplished, but really, you've come a very, very long way. If I'm doing the math right, you're 89 pounds lighter than you were just six months ago. And, really, that's an impressive feat. It might not be 100 just yet -- but 100 is right around the corner.

Wow, you have done great! That's a big loss in that amount of time. I started out at 274, and with my required pre-op weight loss was 246 before surgery on 9/22/03 and now weigh 177, as of this morning. My weight loss has really slowed since December and I've had numerous plateus. It's been rough. As best as I can tell, my weight loss seems tied to my cycle, and I know I still continue to have some water retention issues. I don't loose for 2-3 weeks and then I loose like 3-4 lbs. In the past few months, I've only lost 4 or so pounds each month. It gets me down, but then again, OMG, when has this ever happened to me in my life?!!? I'm down 66 pounds since surgery! As long as it keeps going, I'm happy. It seems slow, but I try and focus on how far I've come. It sounds like you've come a long way too - and so when things go slower than you hope, try and focus on how far you've come! Hugs! Wishing you the best!

Carol Just imagine starting at 360 like me and after 6 months not hitting the 100 pound loss. I feel like a failure and no matter what people say it doesnt help. After 6 months I am finally down to 268 which is where alot of you started out. EVERYONE who was super obese that I talked too easily hit the 6 month 100 pound mark...I hate the way I feel. I dont do well when I am disappointed. I tend to eat goofy because it just doesnt seem to matter. My losses have been 9 pounds per month since month 3, which sucks because I could have easily done that in the past with dieting. Also add in that I go to the gym 5-6 times a week and I swear if another person says "well its muscle"...Ill just sxcream & jump off a bridge!! I completly understand UGH Diana Noreika RNY 9/17/04 360/268/200

I hate to join the b & m party, but I'm pretty upset too. I started at 263.5 on surgery day, tried to die twice, have made so many better choices, have maintained a 4-5x/week Curves schedule and today, on my 6 month anniversary, I am 207 on the Curves scale and 204.5 last week on the docs scale. Talk about not making it to the Century club, I'm barely over the half century! I know I am very greatful to feel so much better. I am off all diabetes meds and have normal sugars. I am off cholesterol meds, trigliceride meds and am only on one blood pressure pill a day. I am not so much depressed as worried. I seem to be able to eat more than many and I get hungry, not head hungry, but ravenous in the evenings. I have only lost 6.25 lbs since Feb 2. Am I done? Fooey, I wanted to be good at this, and patient and strong. I also wanted not only to get healthy but, at 54, to for once in my life, have people not look at me with disgust or treat me like I'm invisible. And what is it really like to have guys look at you with admiration and appreciation for the way you look?

Hi Carol (and the rest of you *****sponded to her message (I don't really know how this works because this is my first time!)) I feel the same way as all of you do about not being where we want to be or should be. I go to support group meetings and hear how much others have lost in comparison to me and sometimes I get a little blue, too. I started out pre-op at about 305 lbs - a lot for a person barely 5'3" to carry. After having so many postponed surgery dates and having to switch doctors after I thought I was finally going to have it. I got discouraged and started following the Atkins program. By the time I went for my pre-surgical visit I was down to 286. But, the weight loss was already slowing down and I knew I couldn't and wouldn't continue to lose as I did at the start. At my six month post-op visit yesterday, I was at 203. So I've lost 83 pounds according to his scale. Yes, I would like to have hit that 100 lb mark by six months, too. But you know what - in this same six months, had I been going to Weigh****chers I couldn't have lost 83 pounds. I've never been able to lose more than 50 pounds no matter what method I was using to do it - my body just totally and completely shut down and said NO! I guess I am somewhat confused as to where any of us got the idea that we were going to lose between 15 and 20 pounds a month after having this surgery. What I have tried to focus on, when I get disgusted is the positive things that have happened over the past six months. (1) I am down several sizes - I've gone from a 26/28 to either a 16 or 18. I don't get disgusted when I try on clothes anymore and I don't have to settle on "well this doesn't look too bad". (2) I am off all of my medications that I took pre-surgery for high blood pressure. (3) I did go to Hawaii in February and let me tell you one of the greatest thrills of the entire trip was that my fat ass wasn't sharing someone else's seat on the plane ride over there. Can you imagine sitting for 13 hours on a plane having to suck it in the whole time!!! It was wonderful. The rest of the trip was great too. I went parasailing (something I would never consider doing at 305 lbs) among other things. The best part was that I actually came home and had lost about 2 pounds. I went through a time where I wasn't losing for several weeks from the end of January until mid-February. Lately, I started losing again. I have never lost tremendous amounts at any given time but it's been steady. Carol, just don't give up or give in - just give it time. You are doing great and you have accomplished a great deal in 6 months. Also, think about this - if you hadn't had the surgery - how much do you think you would weigh now?????? Keep up the good work. Patti

Patti, I just have to say your line about sharing a seat on the airplane practically had me falling out of my chair laughing. I remember that feeling; airplane rides are not the torture they once were, and for that I'm extremely grateful. Your outlook is really great and encouraging. Congrats on your weight loss - and on the size 18s. (BTW, I've discovered a new challenge in the clothes department: After years of settling for "this doesn't look too bad," or just searching for clothes that fit and buying them, I find myself unable to deal with trying on scads of clothes, all of which fit. Before, the clothing choices were narrowed for me; now, unless I want to go bankrupt, I have to actually decide what looks best on me, since the fit isn't as much of a factor. It's an adjustment, for sure, though one I'm happy to make). Jen.

Carol...STOP! Don't focus on what rate others are losing. You have made a huge accomplishment and I will not allow you to get discouraged! We've all been there - the plateau, the slow loss. Your note says you lost 9 lbs when you lactually ost 90 lbs...let me restate that...YOU LOST 90 lbs!!!! That's a whole little person that's been riding piggy back on your frame that is no longer there. Anything worthwhile takes patience and it's important to look at what you've done do far. Please don't allow yourself to fall into bad habits...that's how habits become routine. I can relate to your story as can many others. It sounds like you're doing everything right but I didn't hear you mention one factor - exercise? What are you doing right now? I know that for me exercise was a challenge - so I got a little calendar just for activity. and I write in each week what I plan to do - just one week at a time. Monday thru Thursday is a walk at lunchtime and anything else like step class or weights is "extra credit". Once I complete the exercise I get to highlight it in yellow - and only once I complete it. The calander is in clear view on my desk at work so I can see my progress (or slacking). I have noticed that my weight loss speed is directly tied to my activity. Make sure sure to chose something you enjoy - a step class, dance class, yoga, pilates, swim, hike, bike, whatever. And if you dont like anything - WALK ANYWAY. I hate to walk but once I started doing it everyday something incredible happened...instead of me taking my body on a walk, it started taking me. They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit and I'm really starting to beleive it. I was sick several weeks ago and haven't been in the gym or walked for 3 weeks! Wow, how easy it is to fall off the wagon. So tomorrow I start again. My Calendar is screaming for some color! My surgery date was 9/8/04 at 320 lbs and I'm 124 lbs down. Gym time 4-5 days a week. My weakness - enough protein (I've lost most of my hair), enough water and vitamins (miss 1 day on average). So we all have our challenges - Give me a progress report when you can. Take care! Nikki Mayer

Carol, I am six months out today. I am down 72 pds, started 229 at surgery. I have slowed down for the last 2 months, the scale fluxuates continuously, I joined curves and drinking more water it seems to help. I think it helps with my mental attitude. I want the weight off faster also, but this is a journey so hang on tight and get out in the air away from people and food. I pray all picks up for you.