gaining weight

Hello All I am writing because I want to be accountable. I am gaining weight. I was at 158 a few weeks ago, just weighed myself and I weighed a whopping 167. I always weigh more at night, and fully dressed - but those sound like excuses to me. I can and do eat as much again as my husband, I have been since having my stoma stretched. ( Stricture fixed in November of last year) I can eat huge portions and do. I also snack. I am terrified of gaining back all my weight like so many people I know who've had this WLS. I cannot seem to stop. Have had a lot of stress lately - some here know. Also my daughters wedding is in two weeks. But that's life - and you need to learn to roll with the punches, and not turn to food. I know this and yet, I keep snacking, and eating!!! I am so upset that I can eat like this. I would love to try the 5 day pouch test, but keep putting it off. ok, sorry for the whining. Thanks for the ear(s) Tara

Hi there my friend. I had a rough weekend too. I definitely can eat more if I allow myself to. I guess we just have to NOT let ourselves. It is really hard though with stress in our lives like we have. What could we do together to try to make it better? Make a eating plan or a pact or sumthin? Know I am here, I care, and I am struggling too. Hang in there...tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. Much love, K

Tara and Kathleen--you are not alone. Struggles like this are or will be hitting each of us who've had this surgery at some point. I've been struggling with stress eating these past few days too. It's such a difficult thing to realize that even though we've been through major physical changes with our surgery, we still have the same thoughts and desires as we did before surgery. We're in such a tough spot right now. I had a friend who's had this surgery tell me that her toughest time was about a year out. She was struggling then with the same things we are struggling with now. Her advice was to remember back to when we were preparing for surgery and try to remember the motivation we felt to accomplish our goal of just reaching surgery. Then from there to remember how we felt right after surgery...that feeling of everything being different and new and how we felt as the weight came off. I've been doing that and it does help. Remember how we felt each day when we stepped on the scale and saw it drop a pound or a half pound or even two pounds?! It was soooo exciting! And remember how we went from size to size to size down down down? I remember also the feeling of looking in the mirror and realizing that there was a smaller, much more confident woman looking back at me. We had stresses then, we had different struggles then. But the difference is that we were in a different mindset. We were determined as we dropped weight that we'd NEVER gain it back. It was all new. We couldn't eat certain things because they made us dump or feel crummy or we just didn't feel like eating. Now, we're settling in to our new life, our new routine and are finding ourselves able to eat more things. The surgeons operated on our intestinal systems, not on our brains (DANG IT! LOL) so we still have the same tendencies to want to turn to food when we're struggling or stressing. Hey--we ARE human, we are still food addicts, but we have an amazing tool that will help us lose and keep off weight like nothing we've ever tried before. Now our job is different. As we were in preparation for surgery we had (depending on your surgeon and the pre-op program you had) to learn new habits and retrain our minds to be motivated to live a new lifestyle. The key then was WE WERE MOTIVATED. Now? We have to learn to KEEP motivated and it's damn hard. It's hard, but not impossible. Coming here and talking with all you fabulous losers keeps me thinking about the choices I'm making. Anything from what I eat to how I exercise (or don't) to how to change my thoughts (UGH THAT'S THE HARD PART!) about food. What helps me the most is not to think about an hour from now, or tomorrow, or a week from now, but to focus on this minute right here, right now. When I make a choice to eat something I know isn't something I should eat, I try very hard to make it a mindful choice. If I want to eat something of little value, I DECIDE to eat it--then I try to stop whatever I'm doing and pay attention to what I'm eating--and how much-- and I pay especially close attention to how it tastes. Much of the time the taste is somewhat of a disappointment. It's just not as good as I had imagined. This process has helped me to realize that I'm not just putting food into my mouth subconsciously--but that I'm making a conscious choice to eat it and pay attention to it. It takes a bit more effort to do that than to just sit and eat it. I look at it this way--I worked very hard to get where I'm at. If I'm going to keep the weight off, and still enjoy food--I really want to eat things that are going to taste good, give me nutrition and leave me feeling satisfied--emotionally especially. Remember how it felt to start seeing a difference in our appearance? Remember how it felt to have people tell us how good we looked then? And now that we're reaching and/or getting close to our goals--it's very easy to say..."well, I did it...NOW I can relax." Soooooo not true. This is for life. This is a journey with NO DESTINATION. This is our health we're talking about--not just gaining weight back. Our bodies are different now. We need to eat for our health. Making sure we get the right vitamins, nutrients, minerals, etc is so important because we don't absorb like we used to. Repeat after me: WE ARE AN AMAZING GROUP OF LOSERS WITH HEALTH TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND MUCH TO LIVE FOR--WE WILLLLLLLLL BE SUCCESSFUL!" We made it this far, we're going alllllll the way! I love you all! Brenda

I have somewhat the same thing happening. Although I am eating nothing different then I have been and the usual amount. Every month I lose about 5 lbs.....then one day I wake up and I will be 4-6 lbs up seems over night. So then it takes me the rest of the month to lose those pounds. So it is like I have to lose every 5 lbs twice now! VERY FRUSTRATING! Thought maybe since I am a girl it was connected to "that time of the month" But I don't think it is.

Hi Tara, It looks like we are all at the same stage where we realise that this surgery is just a tool and we will still have to work to keep the weight off. Like you Tara I find that I can eat much bigger portions than I could before and that is frightening to me. I do make the wrong choises at times as well. I find that I worry that my pouch has stretched because I am eating more now. If I change the type of food I eat I realise that my pouch is still working. Tara are you starting to eat a lot of "slider foods"? I can eat large amounts of soups, stews, pastas etc. but if I eat drier foods like chicken breast or hamburger patties I find that I eat much less and I feel that my pouch is still much smaller than my stomach was. Are you still following the "rules of the pouch". Protein first, no drinking 1/2 hour before of after meals and are you getting in all your water? Try going back to those basics and if you decide to eat things that you know might not be the best choises..take really little bites and chew very slowly and maybe you will find that you are satisfied with a very small amount. I have tried that with some success even though it doesn't always work. I understand your feelings and you can be sure that you are not alone. Don't let a few slips spin you out of control. A few weeks ago Brenda reminded me that when you fall off the wagon it's much easier to get right back on while it's a small step rather than waiting until the step becomes so big that it becomes much more difficult. (Sorry Brenda I think I mangled that quote) but hopefully you know what I'm trying to say Tara. If there is anything I can do to help let me know. The reason we all check in here is to know that we are not alone and to get support and advice when we need it. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing. Don't lose touch. Hope to hear from you soon. Fran