8 month anniversary/sorry I have been gone so long

Patricia Hagmaier
on 4/11/08 7:50 am - Wehonah, NJ
Hey everyone, I know it has been over a month and half since I have been on the boards. I am so sorry for that, things at home have been so very difficult, but by the Lords grace and mercy I, we are finally beginning to see the light ahead of us. On the 6th of April I celebrated my 8 month anniversary and also joined the Century Club with an offical weight loss of 104lbs and a weight of 154. I am in a size 12 and mediums and am on the brink of moving into 10's. I wish I could say I have been the perfect RNY patient because I haven't. I have no problem staying away from forbidden foods, the problem goes the other way. I have a very hard time holding down any kind of meat at all, unless it is chili. I am to a point I am almost a vegetarian. I have been living off protien bars, yogurt and chili and worst of all I did not excersise at all over the last 8 months. Finally, everything here at home came to a head and we as a couple, a family and me as an individual hit rock bottom. 3 days ago we went a joined Ballys and have already worked out twice. I had forgotten how GOOD it feels to use my muscles like that. The only thing I really knew is that I hate to walk for excersise. I know I have friends here on OH, but I literally have no friends in person. All my really good friends live from 1.5 hours away to 3000 miles away. We still have not gotten back to church but I am truly holding out hope that we are going to get there. The Lord has brought me so far, us out of the woods with our relationship and my kids are responding to me in such a different way now that I am out of bed and doing house work, going places with them. The best part of all of this, besides the Lords blessings and presence in my life, is that in January I turned 40 and something really happened for me. For this girl who has had body image problems her whole life, I no longer do. I put a bathing suit on yesterday and thought I looked good, THAT IS A HUGE MILESTONE FOR ME. Turning 40 liberated me from all that crap, all the crap I was fed by my family, the media and people in general around me. Now, I know I am seeing me for the first tme in my life. True, I definitely don't like a lot of what I see, but Praise Jesus that He is in my life, because I know He will change those things in me. I am going to have my husband take a picuture of me tomorrow when I am ready to go to the gym and you will finally get to see what I look like now. So, what I am really working on is tring to eat more and better, getting to church, getting involved, meeting other women and finally after years being a REALLY GOOD role model for my kids. I am by the grace of God first, so proud to be me now. I am a survivor of obesity and though I am no where near the end of the road, nor will I ever be, I can see me, the real me and I am forever grateful to God, my surgeon, and all of you who encourage me and lifted me up over the last 8 months. ONE BIG QUESTION I HAVE FOR ALL OF YOU AND IT IS URGENT FOR ME, is anyone else having problems getting a lot of different foods down. Everyone keeps telling me I should be able to eat pretty much anything by now, but this is defintely not the case. I could really use some suggestions/help. Love to you all I have missed you, Trish
brenmatt65
on 4/11/08 1:34 pm - Powell, WY
Hi Trish!!!!! It's great to see you back!! I'm so sorry for your struggles, but praise God that He's brought you through it, and all the more stronger too! You truly are inspirational! I know with all your struggles you've made it to a VERY good place in your life. I'm soooo happy for you!! I can't help you much with your question about eating meats and things, have you talked to your doctor? I'm to the point now that I can eat almost anything without too much trouble. I do still dump (thank goodness!) with most things I shouldn't be eating anyway. I've not tried too many things, but those things I have tried that have made me dump. I'm convinced that it's better to just eat what I'm supposed to and not push my luck, LOL. I don't have any problems with meat, and never have. I don't have any problems getting my protein in anymore. I did for the first few months, but now I do fine. I'm sorry I couldn't help more. Way to go with all your changes and with your new body image! I think you're FANTASTIC!! God bless you!! (The first time back to church is the hardest, but everyone will make you feel so welcomed back that you'll be much more ready the next week. I know this from experience. We, too, just started going back to church about three Sundays ago.) Brenda
Kathleen L.
on 4/12/08 5:26 am - Lawton, OK
Hello there! Glad to see you! Sorry things have been so difficult for you. Trust me, I totally understand how overwhelming it all can get sometimes. My hubby is currently deployed again (but the last time ever he is retireing!). I have an eighteen year old daughter who is just a mess, with a Granddaughter. It is a really sad, rough situation to get through, but with God's help I do. Surgery wise, I have gone from 282 to 143 now. I do still really struggle with eating alot of things. I still stick mostly to taco salads with shredded chicken, yogurt, reduced fat wheat thins, salsas, refried beans and cheerios and oatmeal. My pouch is really sensative. I ate some KFC last night and I still have terrible runs today. So like you, I am very sensative. I guess we just have to keep up with the trial and error. My Dr. says the protein and water will always come first anyway. I never thought I would say this, but it is kind of hard to keep my weight above 145 like the DR. wants me to. LOL That is weirdo for me. My whole life I have fought to go down not up. Please write to me if you need someone to talk to. You are a very sweet loving person and it makes me sad to see you hurting so. We are all here for you. GOD BLESS YOU and continue to keep in touch! Your Friend from our LOSERS circle lol...Kathleen
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