Plastic surgery appt.

Hello all I am feeling pretty fragile, so if you even think of pounding on me for whatever reason, please don't. I had my first consult yesterday for plastic surgery. I have about 20 more pounds to go until goal, things are slowing down quite a bit, but I thought I'd better start thinking about documenting stuff for the day when I can go get it done. I thought it would help jump start me back into the loosing side again. I was getting so discouraged with all of you who weighed the same as me to start, and are so far ahead now. Anyway, I went for the appointment. They measured my sagging skin and exact boob hangage. I felt so humiliated (even knowing they do this all the time, it WAS ME today...) I had tears streaming down my face. I was told I'd need an arm surg. (wont go into exact verbiage) cloverleaf tummy tuck and boob lift. Later, thigh lift or LBL. After 2 1/2 hours they took me to a room and proceeded to tell me they do not participate with BCBS so I would need to finance the whole $24,000 dollar surgery. PPPPPPPFFFFFFTTTTTT. Talk about deflated, and not just my boobs...my whole soul just shrank. I dont know what I expected, but it wasn't this. Thank you so much for any support. Again, if you have anythig derrogatory to say, please don't ok??? Thanks Tara

Hi Tara! Long time no see! It's great to see you back! (((((((((Tara))))))))) I'm so sorry you're suffering the humiliation and then the let down of not being able to do the surgeries. Remember, you've lost a lot of weight, you're healthier now, and you aren't finished yet! To be 20 lbs from goal is amazing! Look how far you've come! There is no need to feel badly about the progress you've made. One thing I have discovered in all of this is, that my portion of this journey is just for me and me alone. If I compare myself with where others are on their journey, it can be discouraging indeed. It's much more fulfilling if I compare myself to where I was a year ago, nine months ago, six months ago, three months ago and to think where I'll be in 3,6,9 months, two years, etc. That's such a hard thing to do sometimes, though, to remind ourselves this is a lifelong journey and there is no destination other than better health. Tara, you're an incredible woman who has accomplished SOOOOOO MUCH! Think back to where you were a year ago. We were all in the planning stages, or at least in the thinking stages of this whole process. Now, here we are 8 months out from surgery and soooooo much healthier than we were a year ago. It's exciting to me to think, "omg a year ago I weighed more than 250 lbs and I couldn't walk more than 50 feet without feeling tired and drained. I couldn't tie my shoes without help, I couldn't BEGIN to like what I saw in the mirror, so I just didn't look." etc etc...the progress we've all made is FABULOUS! I'm celebrating TODAY my one year anniversary of being smoke free. I quit smoking one year ago today. As for saying anything derrogatory, what could any of us possibly have to say? You're a sister in this with us. You're one of us. I can't speak for everyone here, but this is how I feel: We are all on this journey together, we're sisters, and sometimes sisters aren't always nice to each other, but we take the good with the bad and love each other anyway. I love each and every single one of you from deep in my heart. WE ARE ALL AWESOME!! You keep up the fantastic work! If you'd like to try something to jump start your weight loss ...take a look at the five day pouch test and consider trying it. It worked for me and I'm going to do it once in awhile to keep myself reminded of what I need to be doing. Here's the link: http://www.5daypouchtest.com/ You're doing GREAT, Tara! Try not to be so hard on yourself, ok? Hugsssssssssss Brenda

Thank you Brenda!!! I hate being a sad sack, but needed to air out my soul. I know sometimes I've seen people be vicious ( and possibly a little self righteous) on here, that's the reason I don't post very often. But I took a chance people would be kind today (and I was right with you... I look at how much people are eating (2 ounces at a time!!!) and just about die. Yes, maybe I should try the pouch test. I know exercise has been lovely with the nice weather. Thanks so much for letting me cry on your shoulder(s). Tara

I don't think of you as being a "sad sack." I think in discouraging and upsetting moments we NEED to air our feelings. That's why this forum is soooo wonderful. I know I love coming here and reading posts from my fellow surgery sisters (and Noble Ward, our only man ....he seems to have disapeared ). I eat more than two ounces now...I'm able to eat up to 3/4 of a cup depending on what it is. I just now know when my body's had enough. It's hard to put into words, but my body lets me know when I'm done. It's almost like my throat says, "nope, no more" I can be in the middle of chewing a bite of food and get "that feeling" and I have to spit it into my napkin and be done. Sometimes I feel that "full feeling" and sometimes I don't. But the feeling I feel about a half hour later is the same. I feel completely satisfied. Exercise, ugh. I was in a half-semester weight training and conditioning class and now it's over. I haven't gotten myself into a regular routine again since. I do walk, but it's not enough. I have to get back into a real routine, it's driving me crazy. Tara, you hang in there and just KNOW you're doing great! I'm glad you're back. You are an amazing woman and I've missed you! Everyone have a blessed day! Brenda

I think it was very brave of you to put your feelings out there like you did. I'm pretty new at this whole posting thing and have been just jumping in here and there. I am so thankful that I finally figured out how to find others who had surgery during the same month as me and I have stayed right here checking it out every chance I get. I think the people here are very supportive, helpful and informative -- and best of all, many of them have had the same experiences - both good and bad - and are willing to share them -- just like you did. We are all on the same path towards making and keeping positive changes in our life no matter where each of us are at in reaching our own and very different personal "goal" weight. It helps me a lot just to know I'm not alone and that others have the same doubts and set-backs as I do. I would imagine that not a single person here has had it easy in their journey but by golly we will get there with patience, faith and friendship. I'm sorry to hear about your plastic surgery experience but I can say you should be proud of yourself in that you ARE healthier, only 20 pounds away from your goal, you took the step to check into having the plastic surgery, and then shared your story. Kudos to you.

Thank you so much Christi!

Aww, Tara, how discouraging! I wouldn't even want to contemplate how "long" my boobs measured! And, of course, the right one is far longer than the left! LOL I know that the only thing my insurance will consider is the panni removal and I haven't decided if I am even going to do that. At my age, if I fix that, then the rest is just going to look worse! Kinda like getting a new couch and then the carpet looks shabby and then you get new carpet and the walls look bad so you have to paint the walls. It will never end! I would need a total body fix up! I spent time comparing my loss to everyone else's and drove myself nuts. You are 20 lbs from goal! OMG how fantastic is that! It gets tougher to lose, the closer you get to goal. Keep up the good work and hope you are feeling better today. Love, Barbara

Barbara, Thank you so much, it was so nice to have support. I cannot express how much it meant to me to have everyone be so kind. Thax again Tara