Not eating what Im supposed to

I am in the confessional now..... I have not been eating what I should, I know it and I am feeling so sad that I feel the need to break my own rules and slide backwards. I eat pasta, sure only a 1/4 cup at a time, but it shouldn't be on "the list". I eat candy. I eat one piece of chocolate a day....yeah, its not a bag full, but what happens if I decide, "well maybe 2 a day won't hurt"....... I eat lots of fruit, instead of protein. I have failed miserably on the protein front, no shakes ever, and lost tons of hair because of it I'm sure. I have lost almost 75 lbs, so I am technically doing fine, but if I dont change my habits I will be fat again in no time. Is anybody else out there having trouble???

Hi Tara! I have eaten things this past week I know I shouldn't eat. But learning moderation is a good thing! When we're on maintenance to keep our weight off, we'll be able to eat most anything again, but the key will be moderation. If one piece of chocolate satisfies your need for chocolate, it's DEFINITELY better than a whole bag. I've found that my desire for the things I shouldn't eat dies once I've had a taste of it. I can't eat like I used to and my body knows it. The desire for things I used to eat in bulk (and I DO mean bulk) has gone away. In fact, once I put something that sounds sooooooo good in my mouth and actually eat a bite, it often times is a disappointment. Most times it just doesn't taste the same to me as it used to. I'm also finding that eating things I've not been used eating (before surgery) are tasting really good. I never realized how good most of the "good-for-you" foods taste! I eat pasta once in awhile too and it doesn't seem to bother me as far as dumping goes. I have found that it doesn't stay with me long and I go through a period of being VERY sleepy soon after I've eaten it. I'm having trouble with protein shakes now too. I was in a routine before the holiday**** and did pretty well. I was in school and had specific times that I made and drank the shakes. Since school is on break, I've been really bad about getting my shakes in. I've noticed more hair loss in the past week too. It's good to have a routine, so I'm starting one today, including a workout. My wonderful husband got me a dumbbell weight set for Christmas and I intend to use it everyday. I'd say to you, don't beat yourself up for eating a few wrong things. Just get yourself back on track and forge ahead. You'll do great! Just remember how good it feels to be in the size you're in now and how wonderful it will feel to be in the next size down! I wore a size 8 dress to my husband's Christmas party a week ago tonight!! A SIZE 8!! One year ago right now, wearing a size 8 ever in my lifetime was just a dream! Talk about a dream come true!! I have a couple pictures of me that my husband took on my cell phone. If I knew how to transfer from cell phone to email and then to here I'd post them. Can anyone help me with that?

Thank you Brenda! It's just so scary thinking about all we've gone through, then to backslide. I know it's going to be rough after the tool isn't restricting what we eat, and it's all our own willpower. I want to learn new habits and make a lifelong change. It just seems after I got a stricture fixed and I could finally eat...all bets were off. Then the hair all falling out has just been godawful. It's emotional eating at it's worst, and I know it. I absolutely will NOT (and couldnt if I wanted to) eat tons of sweets , ect. and, like you, I find fruits and veggies SOOOO good now, even salad!!! So, hopefully, I have made inroads that will help me. I do read a blog of a staff member on OH that helps me enormously. She has made lifestyle changes that will keep her forever thin, I'd bank on it. Don't know if I am allowed to mention her blog???? But it is inspirational and helps inpire me through most bad days. Thanks again for your response! Tara

I had this surgery because I KNEW I couldn't do this for life on my own. I made commitment to change where I can, to be mindful of my eating. I knew going into this I was never going to give up choclate for life, BUT I made a promise to be mindful of what I ate, to change the amount & occassions when I ate chocolate. For me personally this surgery was about giving me a tool to live/eat like "normal" people. So I occassional eat the wrong things, and I skip desert to be able to have a small amount pasta after my protein. However if you are really fearful, try seeing a behavioral therapist to work on feelings associated with food. I started doing so before surgery & still see my therapist to this day...the surgery addresses the physical hunger, but does nothing for the emotional issues behind hunger (which turned out to be far greater then I ever imagined). In order for this to be sucessful for me, I must address the emotional behaviors & poor choices I made that lead to the need for me to have this surgery. As well as the self depicating behaviors that I still sometime display. In that regard it is a daily struggle for me. Try to remember if we had a healthy relationship with food, and were able to completely address the cir****tances which lead to the need for surgery and to properly change EVERTHING we were doing wrong, why would we have need surgery in the first place? This will be a life long struggle for most of us. The difference being now we have a tool/weapon which allows us to actual win the war, insteed of the occassion up & down scale battle. The fact that you are aware of what you eat & have a small amount of fear tells me that things have changed for the better already.

You're very welcome Tara! I'd bet it's ok to mention her blog and even post the link to it. Since she's blogging on a public forum about something we're all here for too, I'd bet it would thrill her to have more people read her blog. I say post it I know I'd like to read it. Anything that gives us encouragement and inspiration in our lifelong new lifestyle is a good thing.

This is the blog, it is wonderful!!!! http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/ I did write and ask her permission.

Join the club. It has been a struggle for me also this holiday season. I am also losing my hair. Thank God I have allot to lose. At his time I am trying very hard to get all the protein in. I have lost 60lbs since 8/21/07. I am also realizing that there is a huge emotional attatchment to food and and working on dealing with this. So no you are not alone.

You are definitely not alone. It scares me so much that this surgery could fail because I cannot give up my addiction to sugar. Did I really have my insides rewired so I could eat sugar again and slow down my weight loss? I can honestly say that is the scariest thing I have ever faced. I am trying to change my head in the new year. Maya

you are NOT alone. i had a Reeces cup today (only one of the two****ep thinking damn i thought they said i couldnt eat sugar........but i can. and pasta, pizza and chips too.