MAJOR Weight Gain

Hey guys - I haven't been on here in ages.  I don't know what to do so I am turning to you all.  I live in California.  Had surgery in August 2006.  My heighest weight was 369.  I had surgery at about 335 lbs.  I'm female, 5;9".  I got down to 161 lbs.  Too skinny for me, so I thought I would have a few chocolates to gain a little bit of weight.  I wanted to be about 185.  That is what my doctor wants me at.  Now I'm at 238 lbs.  I'm disgusted with myself.  I feel like such a failure.  I live in a small down and now when I see someone who saw me under the 200 lb. mark they just look at me and say hi.  They don't say a word and heck I know what they are thinking.  I was down to a size 6 now a size 16.  I would honestly feel fine at 200.  I have major back problems that prevents me from exercising.  Depression that causes me to be in bed 2 to 3 days at a time.  Money is so tight I can't afford to buy any protein powder.  I have some vitamins left.  I don't know what to do???  My doctor that did the surgery is 4 hours from me which would mean to see him I would need to stay in a motel, which I can't afford.  Any ideas???  Please help me!

*Carol*

I understand, I recently noticed my skinny pants feeling a bit snug and weighed myself, I've gained almost 10 pounds since Christmas. I'm kicking it back in gear now with walking and upping my protein (naturally) If you cannot afford protein powder that is fine because foods like chicken, tuna, shrimp, and scallops have been very good sources of protein for me and they are YUMMY :) Try to focus on protein and veggies and try to back down from breads and high carb foods. I still find meats very filling to me, however when it comes to some other things I feel like I can eat more than I should be able to (and those are the unhealthy choices too). So as I said try focusing on natural sources of protein, it's cheaper than the powder too :) Good luck to you.  Also please be sure to continue taking your vitamins. I got to a point where life got so busy and hectic I would forget, and thats when I noticed my energy level drop and mood swings because of it. I'm back into the swing of taking everything religiously and havent had any more problems. I do however get moments of light headed when the doctor believes my sugar drops and I have to eat one of those glucose tablets. Other than that all is good.

Thanks for the pep talk BEG1981 - I'm just so frustrated and feeling so ugly.  I hated all the compliments when I was thin.  I lost so many friends because they didn't want to be around me anymore.  Actually lost most of them.  Now that I've gained I find myself not wanting to go into town (we live in a rather rural town up by Yosemite).  And then when I do go to town, of course I see someone that I know.  I can see the disappointment in their faces.  One of my friends who I haven't seen in a long time told me I looked great.  I told her about my weight gain and she just said "don't gain anymore".  It felt like a threat. I'm still down 100 lbs. from what I used to be.   I've been heavy my whole entire life.  I just had a brief time there where people were telling me that I was too thin and needed to loose weight.  Geesh!  You can win for losing or gaining! 

I feel your pain, I lost my job in Sept after 10 yrs there it was devastating emotionally.  Depression put me in the fetal position in bed for weeks I gained 15lbs in a month I could not believe it I still dump with sugar but I was getting in too many carbs and drinking with meals washing those empty calories thru sluicing I think I saw it was called.  I had some major medication changes that increased carb cravings, got off all those.But I am still struggling to lose what I gained  In addition to losing my job which was at my church and a huge part of my life I have had the following life altering events: my youngest joined the Navy, my middle child graduated from colledge moved home and got engaged and the wedding is in Aug. just trying to pay for wedding on one income big stressor to Top things off on April 2 my dog of 10 yrs died suddenly while I was here alone and helpless with him he was really big but I was so shocked and felt so helpless.
. I will have a few really good days sometimes weeks where I excercise daily and eat only protein then something will happen usually physical pain from really bad arthritis and I will be bed bound for days and have to start all over.  What helps?  keeping a daily journal, for me I do quiet time before I get out of bed, read some scripture and just write down exactly how I am feeling and ask God for help, it is amazing to look back and see how many prayers have been answered even when I think none are heard. I try to excercise first I get too lazy when  I was working I would get too busy now I get too lazy so I must force myself to MOVE everyday somehow even if it just going up and down the stairs. I thought those 100 calorie cookie snacks were safe form me forget it if I am not moving they will add weight so I quit buyng them I get raw almonds and dried cranberries for snacks even trail mixes with soy beans.  Back to rule #1 everything I eat must have protein.  I had to cut back on ice tea cause I think the caffeine caused hunger or cravings.  Pay close attention to yourself and see what you are doing that you need to change. One of those 100 calorie packs might be ok but I would eat 3 or 4 a day when really down and the more I ate the more I wanted.  I also started seeing a counselor. She has helped me realize some very interesting things. Hang in there I feel your pain, it was no accident I logged in to this site for the first time in over a year today and see your post!  Praying for you!

I get the cravings sometimes too, like for something salty or crunchy, or sweet. I have to fight myself to stay away from it and it's miserable. Sometimes I win, and other times I loose by giving into the cravings. I was afraid I was the only one going through this. Especiallty around the time of the month my menstrual cycle comes I start realizing I "think" I'm hungry more often and want to snack. It's all head hunger though, my body doesnt need it. Its a frustrating thing

I  understand comments from friends and family when I went back home recently and sisters saw my gain they made subtle comments like is that ok for you to eat?  I did realize while I was away from home and with them that I was not constantly snacking and wasn't really hungry.  That told me  it was all emotional eating getting me into trouble.  My family has always been my biggest supporters so I know they don't mean to hurt me but to encourage me it took awhile for me to see that.  I also have to accept the fact that I can't change or control everything around me so I have to live within the serenity prayer, to changes the things I can accept those I can't and have the wisdom to know the difference. Simple words incredibly difficult lifestyle change.  I keep thinking if I can get everything back to where it was before I lost my job (medication, activity etc...) maybe the weight will just fall off fast like it did first time. So far no luck. I did have some steroid injections and medications that slowed weight loss down but those are thru now, I don't seem to be gaining much more than a 2 to 4 lbs back and forth up and down still had to break down and by bigger size the biggest defeat of all. 62 days til the wedding and now I dread dress shopping where 3 yrs ago for my oldest's wedding I was in a size 10, now I will be jubilant if I can get in a 14.
Keep posting talking to others helps!

It's soo good to hear that there are others who are fighting the same struggles as I am.  It's so frustrating.  And I can definitely relate to the "head hunger".  It's a horrible thing.  Very disceptive and evil.  I have really been trying to eat healthier, moving around more etc. since I posted my first message.  You ALL have been wonderful.  I need to get in touch with, I believe her name is Andrea about vitamins etc.  So frustrating this is.  I can eat sugar and don't dump.  I so wish that I did dump on that.  I could live on sweets before and after surgery.  The only thing that I NEVER do is drink soda's.  I used to before surgery, but have not since and will not.  What types and brands of vitamins do you take?  Miligrams etc?

Yes it is gaood to know we aren't fighting the battle alone. The Navy Dr's have me take 2 Flinstone Complete vitamins a day and a sublingual (melt under toung) B12  at least 3 days a week I think it is 500 mg not sure I am out of both also. The Walmart brand of vitamins is way cheaper don't taste as good but they do the same job.  I can't afford all the fancy GNC stuff. When I was losing my hair I took Biotin 500-1000mg daily it also helps with nails as well as hair but have cut back on it too. I still crush all my meds and take with Yoplait light yogurt this gets me more protein and calcium.  I hate calcium pills I should be taking them but they are so huge and expensive just haven't done it. I eat lots of cheese and yogurt.  I recently discovered the Special K protein drinks, meal bars and H20 packs these are really good and not too expensive Walmart or Walgreens usually have them on sale and you can find coupons. I love the h20 pack I get the iced tea flavor and it has 5 grams of protein and 5 grams of fiber so getting my water in also keeps me feeling full and satisfied the fiber keeps things moving pain meds can cause things to back up. I can drink one of the chocolate protein shakes and be good for 3 to 4 hours, same with meal replacement bar. Hope this helps. Keep posting we will overcome!

NO flames here, just my thoughts, so please don't take any of this the wrong way!!

1st--Put down the kiddy vitamins!  These will get you nowhere but vitamin deficient!  You really, really need a good vitamin!  Compare notes with others here OR contact someone like Michelle/Vitalady and get on track with that one.  And you need to find a calcium you can afford.  I buy mine from Sam's Club.  I get about 400 tablets (2 per dose, so 200 doses) of calcium citrate and D for less than $10.  Even at 3 doses a day (a reasonable amount as that is 1890 mgs of calcium citrate per day), that is 66 days of calcium for $10, or about 15 CENTS per day for 3 doses!

2nd--The special K stuff may seem cheaper, but it truly isn't cheaper than good protein as when you look at it on a grams of protein per dollar view, you will see the difference....

3rd--Good protein can be had via lean meats and beans.  You do not have to spend the extra $$ for protein powders if you just don't have it.  You just need to be consciously aware of what protein you are getting and make absolutely sure you get it in each and every day!  I can't stand protein powders and do not use them.  I will admit it to anyone who asks!  But, I take my vitamins and I get my protein each day and my labs are good....

Hugs,
Lea

I have experienced some regain, but it is only about 20 pounds total from my lowest weight.  And, I know that I have 20+ pounds of excess skin as well.  I started at 410 though, so the 220 or so that I average these days is like a totally different person than 410 was, so no one knows I have regained but me...

I, too, deal with arthritis issues that make exercise difficult.  I have bone-on-bone knees and degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine.  Sure complicates things on the exercise front!  But, I do what I can, when I can.  And, I take my vitamins--EVERY day.  And, I get my protein in---EVERY day, though not from protein powder but rather from food sources.

I think that this weight is where my body and metabolism met and shook hands.  Even when I have several active days joined with good eating on those days, I will not see a drop in weight.  As a matter of fact, about the only time I see changes lately is the water weight I gain before and lose after my period!  It is stressful when you know you are doing what you are supposed to, but don't see any loss as a result.

I think it is great that some of us are posting again!!  Let's keep it up!!