In desperate need of Advice :'(

Hello my name is Brenda. I am 13 months out. I have lost a total of 75lbs. I am a size 14 from 22-24. Everyone tells me how great I look but when I look in the mirror I see that I am still fat. I think I still need to loose 31lbs. I want to get rid of my stomach and love handles. I have been truly blessed not to have the excess skin. All I need to do is exercise, tone up and eat healthy. I SHOULD BE JUMPING FOR JOY! BUT I'm not. I feel like my soul is depressed. If that makes since. All I think about is food. I eat too much carbs and not enough protein. My lab work was not good. I don't do anything that I am suppose to do. I am so disappointed and just plain sad. I am suppose to be so happy. No one around me understands why I am not. I don't understand either. I guess I'm just looking for any and all kinds of advice. Maybe a kick in the butt. Well maybe not in the butt. I lost a lot of butt and my tail bone is not a happy. Thanks

Hi Brenda, hugssss It sounds like you have some depression issues. I know that losing weight is only half of the battle. We still have to deal with feelings of many many things that caused us to overeat in the first place. Do you feel you are sabatoging yourself? Are you becoming more and more noncompliant as you go along? I see your letter..as one I could have written on my darker days. Some days I am soooo thrilled with how I have done...and others..I get so mad at myself for not exercising or else starting to eat sweets and carbs again...damnit I was supposed to be OVER that...and other times I just dont have the energy or desire to keep on trying to lose. I am really scared..that I might not lose any more...or...more that I might gain the weight I have lost back...omg...please no. I guess it never gets easy...and like an alcoholic..our battle is never quite over. I am getting off topic. I am seeing my doctor and dietician next week. I suggest you do the same...and write it out...if you dont think you can tell him how youare feeling. Journal for the next days, until you can meet with doctor or dietician. Write down what you are writing and what you are feeling when you are doing that. I am going to take my own advice I will do the same.. Live, Love, Laugh and Learn, C

Brenda, I was having the same problem that you are talking about and the best thing is to find some counseling. Either find a support group in your area or have your surgeon or dietian suggest a psychiatric nurse practitioner or someone like that. This surgery is hard on you, not only physically but mentally also. You need some help to get through the tough parts. Call the office that you had the surgery and see if they can suggest someone for you to talk with. It was the best thing that I have done. Sonya

Hi, Thanks for responding to my desperate cry for help. I have a lot of things right now that are stressing me out. I deal with stress by eating. I need to find a new outlet for my stress that doesn't involve food. I am seeking a counselor to help me deal with my issues and to develop better coping skills. I have an appointment on 10/31 with the dietician. One of my biggest fears is gaining the weight back. I just can't allow that to happen. It would be so devastating to me. Hopefully with some counseling and seeing the dietician I can get myself back on track. I also looking into a support group. I hope things are working out for you. Thanks again for responding. Brenda

OMG thank you for this post. i feel almost exactly the same! After going from 301 to 200, i still feel fat and ugly, even though my man says im beautiful. but i do feel depressed the same way you do. i find myself eating when im not hungry, breads and candy and chips and crap. my lab work is poor, and like you, i dont feel as happy as i thuoght i was supposed too. and also, my butt is small....so no kicking. its nice to know, even though its a horrible feeling, that im not the only one. my surgeon said when i brought all this up, that often women develop slight body dysmorphia, which makes us pretty much see ugly and fat when we arent, especially after major weight loss. so, hopefully it will pass, for you and I both. I will keep you in my thoughts, and let me know how you are doing!

I can certainly relate to your post. There are days when I look in the mirror and I still see the "old me" at 370 lbs, not the "new me" at 179 lbs. Then there are times that I see my face and just go WOW... I look so little compared to what I see in my critical eye. Just having the surgery and losing the weight didn't make all the reasons I was hugh go away. If anything, it made it harder to deal with since I took away my coping method (ie:food). I personally turned to exercise to "deal with things". Hang on and work on getting moving. Movement is the key to alot of our problems. Are you taking your vitamins as you should? Getting enough fluids and proteins? These are the fastest ways to make me feel bad when I don't get them done. Remember this surgery was just a tool, not the solution. Use it as just that.

omg did you read my mind or what...ok so atleast we know we arent crazy and all alone. I cant explain to others what I feel...they just simply dont understand... I drink coke zero now...all the time...I snack on carbs...eat sugar...dont exercise...etc. I however do eat 2 flintstone vitamins every day (they sit on my desk)...my labs are PERFECT which makes no sense at all...I dont take B12, iron...wasnt drinking my protein...nothing.... I have chronic back pain that not one single doctor can figure out, so Im upset about that...then my scale started going UP...I usually hover around 153 and last week it went to 162! I flipped out! Mind you I was out of my water pills and on prednisone for my back but it shocked me straight! I refilled my water pills and began drinking my protein again..I bring it to work and that way I have no excuse not to drink it....Im back down to 153 now...but I know that is not going to budge until I commit to daily exercise and start BEHAVING! I promised God if he would allow me to be given this gift I would respect it and never stray...well....Im flat out breaking that promise! Im stressed over money and my job...so I feed that...just like in the past...and now Im scared to death...what if I screw this up and regain this weight. I understand that I should be tickled to death to be a sixe 8/10, but what I see when I look in the mirror is not my 22 I was but I see like a 14/16... Im like you I catch glimpes of my face and Im like OMG I have seen "her" in 19 years but Im not HAPPY.... do I mourn my old self...what is it! Why are we mentally screwed up! Will we ever level out and be content with our new selfs. Im beginning to think I need some meds for depression but I wonder if it revolves around my current back pain. Im going to wait and see if the two are connected. They seem now to think that my back pain could be due to my weight loss..that I am carrying myself differently...who knows...I have had every test ran known to man and all comes back perfect...they say Im the healthiest bypass patient they have ever seen! Well Yippee...I know I should feel good about that but Im in pain...and How the heck are all my labs perfect when I dont do anything I am suppose to...but eat 2 flintstones.....shouldnt my B12, iron, etc be OFF. Ugh Im a mess.

Hi Pam, I am almost 2 years out and I decided to check this forum to see others that had this surgery 2 years ago are going through and I could tell you that I share a lot of the same issues. I was 350 and now I am at 212 and the past year I have gained 2 pounds, sometimes more and lost it back but I am currently at 212. However my shirt size has gone up from large to xl and I am not sure what's going on. Although my weight have not gone up by much to justify the increase in my shirt size. My problem area is around the chest! so now I came back here to see what I can do to lose the weight and this fat that has collected in my upper body! I know that I have not been excercising this past year due to relocation, new job, mortage issues and lots of stress and I have realized that this surgery is not a miracle but a tool that have abused. I don't feel satiety when eating, I have no problem eating 8-10 ounces of food in one sitting, so I am afraid that my stoma doesn't work as it was intended or does it even work anymore? I don't know I am still on prevacid since when I stopped taking it I feel hunger pain so my doctor asked me to stay on it and I have an apointment with another doctor to look inside and see if I have some ulcer or not. on the other hand I used to have the same back pain before surgery and that pain went away after the surgery and when I was excercising. Now that pain has come back and I bet you it's because my body is not toned since I have not been excercsing for a year. I remember my doctor who was checking my back said that if I excercise the back pain will go away since the muscles will be able to lift my body better. So, give that a try for a month or two and see what happens. I intend to go back to the gym 2 to 3 times a week so I don't lose muscle mass. I am also going to drink the protine again but I am not sure how to eat now to lose more weight, any idea? thanks

OH my gosh!!!! I feel the same way!!! I dropped from 268 to 193 in 13 months and I'm in the same boat that you are in. I KNOW what I should be doing but I just can't get motivated to do it!!!! I feel like a FAILURE.....I read all the people that have been a sucess and then I look at myself and and feel like a total failure at this!!!! Where I live we have no support groups and I don't know of anyone else who has had this procedure!!! ALONE in the big world of weight loss!!! Good luck to you!!!

Here's your kick in the tush! Get off the carbs on more protein in to start, and take your vitamins.... Please! Then... up your fluid intake with crystal light or diet green tea or water, and walk walk walk you don't need a gym membership... Per my nutritionist just walk.... 30 mins 3 or 4 days a week, it's on tv , the national heart association etc... You are blessed not to have extra skin, I have about 10-15 pounds of it and i have been pretty darn diligent about working out /walking or treadmill.. I upped protein from 70-80 to 100 about a month ago and have lost about 10 pounds after not losing more than a pound or two in months. I am in 12's and some 10's and once skin on tummy removed will prob fit an 8 or 6 even... Wow I've never been size 6 ever...