Scared does not even describe it...

My surgery is on Monday and I am horrified!!! I mean of course I'm excited about what's to come...it's just that I've gotta get past Monday. I keep looking on this website at the before and after photos to keep myself positive and focused but then all my fears come creeping back and I'm so scared I'm going to wimp out. I've been so close to calling and cancelling the surgery for a week now and I just wish I could get over these nerves. Guess I just had to get it in writing.

I am in the same boat Amanda, except for the calling an cancelling, I have been a ball of nerves, a day or so I am all happy, then I think about something negative and Im like oh **** I cant do this, but I have too, Its the only thing that will truly make me happy, and I know you'll get through it just like I am gonna get through it.

I was scared too, I kept telling everyone I was fine and excited but I was nervous. There was really no reason to worry, because before I knew it, it was over although it was funny because after my surgery I kept having dreams that they were prepping me for surgery and then I would wake up and go "Oh, I already had surgery" it was odd. You will do great, of course you are going to worry slightly that is normal, but don't lose sleep over it because before you know it you too will be on the losing side and realize that you worried for nothing. Congrats and good luck!! Julie

What specifically are you scared about?

Hi Amanda... You are definitely not alone in how you feel. I too felt exactly the same way right up until they wheeled me in the operating room. I had surgery on the 5th and its been almost 2 weeks and I can already tell you that its the "BEST THING I EVER DID FOR MYSELF!" I'm not saying this is easy but its better than the way I was living. My clothes are getting looser, my bras are getting bigger, and I just feel better about myself. After surgery when you wake up your first thought will probably be HOLY **** - WHY DID I DO THIS and TOTALLY REGRET IT and I promise that will pass fairly quickly. I was fine after the first day - so please don't worry and know you will be okay. Hang in there!!!! Everything will be fine. Heather

Amanda~ First of all let me introduce myself, I think I should be coming here more often, since we are starting new in August 2006. I am Michelle. I live at the shore in NJ. I am 41 years old and the proud mother of 3 children. Caitlin is 16, a junior in high school. Daniel is 15, a freshman in high school. Conor is 14, in 8'th grade. I have been married almost 18 years to a wonderful, hard working, handsome (he's on my profile if you want to see him!) and supportive man, his name is also Daniel. I have my own business and I do drug and alcohol testing. I have a very good life, besides my damned bathroom scale that keeps telling me I am 228 pounds! I am 5'4". I have thyroid disease, arthritis in one of my knees on and off, and arthritis in my back, which my pre-op tests just showed me. I have battled depression for about the last 10 years, but take Zoloft and I do well with that. Life is good! Life is about to get better though! OK--on with my thoughts about the surgery.... I think it is totally normal to be afraid right before major surgery. I am nervous, but I think more excited at this point. My surgery is 12 days from today, August 31. I am nervous, I am afraid, I have never been under general anesthesia before, except a appendectomy at 5 years old, I remember nothing of that. SO many people in my support group said that this is cake. I asked about their pain after surgery, a lot of people didn't ever take a pain pill... I have heard "uncomfortable" or "strange" feeling, but I haven't heard about a lot of pain. That was my biggest fear, the pain, and it doesn't seem to be a real common thing to have much pain. I had 2 c-sections, wide awake with an epidural, and the women in my group said the c-sections were worse than the gastric bypass. I don't know if you have given birth, but I think it was a good example for those of us who have. And IF you have ever given birth vaginally, this HAS to be easier than that was! I did that wide awake too with NO drugs! This will be a cake walk, I have decided that in my mind. I did read something interesting in someone's post on here yesterday, I don't know if it was the NJ forum or here, but she said "if you expect to have a lot of pain, you will"... so I am NOT expecting to have a lot of pain! I am actually looking forward to the leg massagers and the air bed and the not cooking and cleaning for 3 days! We have to look at the positives, forget about the negatives-we can't change them anyway. I do believe that we do get what we expect, so I am expecting a TEXT BOOK surgery and quick, low pain recovery! I wish the same for all of you! Here's to starting in a new life in August 2006! Love to all of us~ blessings and peace~ Michelle Brennan Brick, NJ

Michelle, Excellent Post!!! I too have decided to have a Text book surgery with a text book recovery.No pain! I will be the Gastric Bypass Poster Child.....star patient who will has no porblems whatsoever!!! I have FAITH in my LORD....HIS WILL BE Done!!!! Hugs, Traci

Traci~ I couldn't have said it better myself! lol.... we must keep out best thoughts foremost in our minds, and guard our minds and hearts. This is our life and we can not be afraid of something we have chosen to do! And as far as being the "poster child" for the surgery, can I be on that with you?? Love, Michelle Brennan, NJ

Amanda, have faith in God. You will be fine. I was so nervous up until Sunday before my surgery on Monday August 7. When I woke up I had a lot of pain but they already had the PCP pump going so I was in and out. By the time the anesthesia wore off I wasn't having any pain at all. I think what we usually are most scared of besides being put to sleep is the pain we know we will feel when we wake up...but it only lasts a little while. Some people do have to continue the pain pump in the hospital but I didn't and they start you on liquid pain meds as soon as you get off the pump, although I never needed any. It is normal to be afraid and nervous before major surgery but you have made this decision for yourself and you will have the strength and fortitude to go through with it. You won't regret it! Think of it as having a baby...there is great pain but it is fleeting and look at what you get for your pain....a whole new life and healthier at that! Good luck and God bless you!

Hi Amanda! Don't wimp out! This is going to be a great thing for you. Just try and focus on what you are excited about and looking forward to after surgery, the surgery itself is just a blip compared to the rest of your life and how much everything is going to change!! Good luck in everything! Jacie