I just wanted to thank all of you sweeties on this board for worrying about me. I have been in this funk now for about a month. I have gone through bouts of depression my whole life, well since I was about 8 or 9 but not diagnosed until I was in my 20's. I have fought with it and won most of the time. I have been on several different meds and thought that I had it licked. I haven't been on meds for almost a year. I felt great! But lately, things started to change. Work is so stressful, home life is kinda up in the air as far as my hubby is concerned, the kids have horrendous schedules right now with sports, and just everything together has been too much for me lately. I keep telling my husband that I need some kind of break from it all. He can only say that we will do something IF it works out that we can have the weekend off from everything else. I can only say that it HAS to happen. It's not a question of IF we can make it work. I don't know how much more I can take sometimes. I have started new meds and hope they bring my mood up. Some days I am fine, but most days I am not. I am NOT feeling suicidal in the least...I think suicide is a cop out and very selfish (IMHO). I just need some ME time. And some US time. He gets so involved with the kids and their sports (which is not a bad thing) that he forgets about me. I don't think he does it intentionally. I just think he is so caught up with what they are doing that he just doesn't think about it. Even with me telling him he is doing it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY KIDS and I LOVE THEIR SPORTS!!! But you have to make time for each other too. Or else it just doesn't work, at least in my opinion. My kids will be out of the house and on to college in just a few short years. I suppose I shouldn't be so selfish as to want time for me. I should be enjoying what little time I have left before they leave the nest. And for the most part, I do enjoy it. But once in a while, I want to do something for me. Am I wrong for wanting this? I don't think so. I am sorry for rambling but I really don't have anyone else to talk to. My best friend lives in Utah. My second best friend lives right here in the town I work in but is never available for me. My sister, well ya know.... So... my options are to either talk to myself... or come here and talk to you all. I choose the latter... Thanks again for listening... I do truly appreciate each and every one of you. Take care, Lori

Hi Tam, I am going to walk 40 min today if the rain doesn't come before then. And I am going to do it tomorrow and Thursday too...hopefully! Lori 281/174/140

Hi Tammy! Thanks for worrying about me. I am doing ok. Still not great but better. It's TOM for me so that makes things even worse with the moods. But I started my Celexa this morning so we shall see if that helps... I sure hope so. We had an extremely busy weekend. Friday night I cleaned. Saturday we had a funeral...ugh! Saturday night my sisters and I and our husbands went out and played pool and shot the sh*t. It was o****il my sister told me she heard a rumor about my husband. See... she has said stuff like this before. So I don't hold any truth to it. But it still makes you think ya know? Especially with the way things have been between my husband and I. I hope it's just a faze.... I trust him and don't believe the rumor. Sunday we went to the local logging show. Walked around the vendors for about an hour and a half. And then sat for 4 hours in the sun and watched the show. I wore capris and a camisole so I got some good color. Was wishing I had worn shorts though... it got really warm! Then that evening we went to a friend's house for a barbecue. I am sure glad I have you girls. It made my heart happy to know you are worried about me. Don't worry too much. I will be ok. I have been through this my whole life so this is no different. I worry that I am not hungry though. I have to force myself to eat lately. Just a million things going on in my mind that are upsetting and make me not want to eat. I am working on that. But it's pretty frustrating at times... Thanks again for all of you. I love you all very much and I am so in if we decide to meet!!!! Take care sweeties, Lori 281/174/140-150

Happy Tuesday All..... How's everyone doing today???? I've only gotten 1 response to last weeks exercise post, so if you exercised, respond so I can put your name in for the drawing. No exercise for me today. Gotta bring my sister for some tests so trying to get some work done beforehand. Not really happening, but I'm trying... Hope you're all doing great... Think I should be back on track tomorrow... Everything seems to be winding down. Whatever that means Anyway my weight today is holding at 191..... Have a great day Tammy

I've heard alot of people say that when you hit a weight that you were at for a while at one time in your life, your body remembers that and wants to hold on to it for a while. My sister was stuck at a weight from the beginning of February until like the end of May & she finally started to lose again. She's like 9 weeks ahead of me, so maybe it's our turn now. Hang in there, it'll come off Tammy